The Battle for the Sandwich

[Telrao she/her]

But the aforementioned deadly trap is Telrao's GUMMY BEAR ARMY!!! Thus, the Sandwich is now in my possession.

Edited November 8, 2022 by Telrao
Yooo 600th reply for The Battle for The Sandwich! Nice work, folks!

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

The gummy bears are consumed by a hungry worm, leaving the sandwich for me to steal.

[Telrao she/her]

.... the poor gummy bears....

In anger, I transform into a smol bird and nom the worm, picking up the Sandwich in my beak and whistling.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

You whistle to the tune of Dreams Go By by Harry Chaipin while I sing along. We have a good time singing, and agree that you get 100% of the profits from our band while I get the sandwich.

[Primeival Chaos he/him]

You try to put the sandwich in your pocket, but to your horror you find that the sandwich falls right through. 

A random mole burrows out from the ground and takes the sandwich from you before jumping back into the earth.

I take the sandwich from my pet mole in my underground lair that is lined with aluminum. I dust it off before raising it to my mouth to eat it.

[AltonicKeys he/him]

I rip through the simple aluminum foil and slap the sandwich out of Chaos' hands, then run back out my tunnel. I seem to have forgotten something, but if I forgot then it probably isn't important.

[EmulatonStromenkiin he/him]

The shadows, put out at being repeatedly dispersed, reform. The shadows claim the sandwich that Keys forgot to pick up.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I convince the shadows to unionize. While they're on strike, I claim the sandwich.

[The Isochronism he/him]

I gaslight the shadows, convincing them they're an overused and cliche type of minion, and suggest they recruit something more original. Then I steal Chaos's aluminum foil for later use. 

[Telrao she/her]

I eat the aluminium foil. 

Edited November 9, 2022 by Telrao

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

Meanwhile, I use my incredible powers of not being noticed for two posts to slip into the background, turning into a side character that no main character can notice. I still have the sandwich.

[Telrao she/her]

I burp up the aluminium foil, reflecting light onto Nerdy. Everyone notices him. Everyone notices the Sandwich. I eat the foil again.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

3 minutes ago, Telrao said:

I burp up the aluminium foil, reflecting light onto Nerdy. Everyone notices him. Everyone notices the Sandwich. I eat the foil again.

I use They/Them pronouns, JSYK.

"Well, it looks like nothing bad could happen here!" I say. An earthquake starts, and when it's done, I'm long gone.

[Telrao she/her]

2 minutes ago, NerdyAarakocra said:

I use They/Them pronouns, JSYK.

Ooop - sorry! I'll keep that in mind!

Unfortunately, I used my Elantrian Powers to teleport to Nerdy, who I immediately attak. Nerdy is left standing with some foil in their hand, confused.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I foil Telrao's plan and reclaim the sandwich.

*Rimshot*

[Telrao she/her]

*sigh*

I refoil the foiled plot and foil the foil, in the process acquiring the Sandwich.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I drive Telrao off with my fencing foil to reclaim the Sandwich.

[S. Stormy she/her]

I steal the sandwich and eat it.

[Cinnamon]

But, before Shallan stormblessed can eat it, I throw up a bendalloy bubble so I can think of a plan to save the Sandwich. I drop the bubble and start tapping my steelmind, with my enhanced speed I grab the Sandwich and fly away on my magical turtle.

[AltonicKeys he/him]

Cinnamon notices bolts on the magical turtle - It's a robot turtle! Built by me! It lands in my secret base where I hold Cinnamon and the sandwich hostage.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

A ninja breaks into the secret base and steals the sandwich.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

But the ninja was working for me! I claim the sandwich.

[AltonicKeys he/him]

But the ninja's clothes were working for me! They give me the sandwich.

[The Isochronism he/him]

I yell at you for awakening clothing. While you're busy feeling guilty, I steal the sandwich, and toss it into a perpendicularity that leads to my secret base of operations on Sel. I then use an Aon to teleport me to my other secret base, so nobody can follow me. 

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

I didn't need to, as I was already there! We engage in a duel of wits and swordmanship, which I eventually win by cheating. I take the sandwich as my prize, and flee for my life at Mach 4.