There's also a.... "short story" I wrote this day, but I'm not posting it cuz it's honestly both too personal and... just useless rambles.
Agitated State of no Focus
I am uncomfortable, and I cannever be Not.
I am restless, and I willnever find mind-peace.
I can can not enjoy Pessoa, not in this bed.
I can not conceive, writing,
Not when they are watching me.
My heart beats too fast, my wrists unable to hold the Book.
I feel each fibre of my
Finally.
It was a bit rushed like my occasional short stories are.. idk i needa work on that...
(Note that the previous entry was also from this day. That's not an error.)
Dark Streets
The unnamed girl wandered the streets, calloused, fragile feet numb to the pebbles and the glass shards that once filled window frames or housed cheap beer. Now, the only purpose they served was to inflict pain simply through their existence. The girl already did this enough. Relaxed but
Hello people, seeing as I created an updates blog I should update it.
Update 1: I have just recently started work on my first serious science fiction novel, Crew: Rogue Five, this book will contain many surprises. (For those of you looking for spoilers or a summary, tough luck)
Update 2: I have just finished the first parable in my version of the Way of Kings, a compilation of metaphors and parables by King Nohadan.
Update 3: for those who wish to have somethi
Isn’t it exhilarating, being in a place you know fondly after a while. The familiarity hits you as soon as you approach, and the memories just bubble up from there. It’s not the same for everyone, but the feeling is similar.
For me, it’s a specific set of beaches. Down on the southeast coast of a country. And only in the wintertime, when the air is cold and wind strong. It’s actually really unpleasant when you think about it, but holds many fond memories. Memories of a simpler time. Of a t
This is just a place for me to brag about getting certain items from SE Games
So far:
I Co-Own a Bar/Nightclub on Scadrial along with my fellow Elims from MR75
I have a Blast-Mask(it Kills both of us if you target me) from LG110
I have a Letter of Endorsement(From Archer, for my pranks) from MR77
This is here as the official story of Fickle and Jet(plus some other characters who will pop in occasionally).
I would prefer if you kept your reactions and comments in the blog entry for that purpose, I will not be responding to them here. Each successive SE game I will post a comment to this with some context, and then all the roleplay from that SE game.
If you have any questions please voice them in the commentary blog. I’ll be in with my first reply to this shortly(It’s rather shor
This is here because I have another blog entry dedicated to Fickle’s adventures through the realm of SE roleplay. I stole the idea from someone else, but they probably also stole it from another someone.
Anyways, this is here because I want to save the comments of the other Blog entry for updates, so any commentary/suggestions/anything else is preferred here(wow Myst, you’re making your audience to look at this blog before going to the actual story? Sounds like a hassle. — Yes, I am, voice
And I was dancin' in the rain
I felt alive and I can't complain
But no, take me home
Take me home where I belong
I can't take it anymore
— AURORA, Runaway
I think I feel stuck, held back, trapped, immobile, incapable. Burdened by something unexplainable, perhaps. Myself or something else. I crave freedom, perhaps the only thing I want in life. Yet I don't know if that's too idyllic or perfect or... wonderful... to be attainable, realistic. To exist.
I cr
Let me start again
— Manchester Orchestra, The Way
I can't tell what is wrong. I can't know if anything even is. I can't define it, explain it, name it, know it, feel it, etc...
I guess this is related to one of my recent entries, "My 'Struggle'".
Sigh.
There's nothing obvious, really. Nothing. I can't even tell what I'm feeling, really. I don't feel good right now. I felt good earlier. I felt bad last night. I don't know. I have an idea but Ado I want to ignore i
From an SU i posted like a minute ago but figured it'd make a good post maybe..
ive already written about this before in poetry or whatnot but figured it might be relatable idk. I think it's a common experience from what little life I've lived..
do other people sometimes when walking do you walk slowly or try to acct as normal as possible, not looking back?
do you not move, not look, when lying in bed cuz u know/feel It watching? you gotta act like you dont know It's there.
i = √(-1) or i² = -1
This number is imaginary. It exists on an axis perpendicular to real numbers.
But that’s absolute JARGON and confusion
What the heck is “perpendicular to real numbers”?
Think of it like such.
Take a number line.
Copy it but put i next to every number. Rotate it 90° and line it up to the original line so that the 0 is in the same spot as the 0i (which… equals 0).
What you have done just there is created the “Complex Plane” (or apparentl
TW: Some suicidal ideation, mild (?) self-harm allusions/references/words.
(Sorry for all the TW's. I don't want you to take this as me being in a bad/rough spot, no matter if I am or not. But I feel I should warn viewers, readers. I think these TW's for this one are fairly mild but... not completely. Certainly they are there- the content warranting them, that is.)
I've heard some of the arguments, responses, reassurances or caveats to minimizing one's (or another's) struggle. T
Ver - the one previously known as 209845, Antivirus of the Cloud - stepped up to the edge of the cliff and overlooked the Storm. The dark, broiling mass approached like a wall, vanishing the ground that fell under its maw.
Ver heard rapid footsteps behind him, and turned around. A human stumbled around confused there, his face searching around for answers.
“Where… am I?” His gaze fell on Ver, and the movement of his legs stilled as his eyes narrowed. He seemed… wary. “Who are you?”
Some days I see clouds, others birds, always paired with trees. Wind and rain and sun all together to form something greater, almost another world in this one. If I could choose, I would always be there, gazing up, time passing. But life is rarely that kind.
Instead, I see plain white ceiling and harsh lights, linoleum floor with the sounds of a classroom, here every day for a purpose we don’t exactly see. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind being here, but don’t see the meaning behind it. The
There's no content warnings for this entry.
Today I woke up at noon and ate two meals (which is good) and did some stuff and overall had a pretty good day. I did a bunch of stuff downstairs instead of hiding in my room and it felt better. Maybe not perfect, but it felt much much better. A little bit less bleak.
And I wonder, is this normal enough? Is this what it was like before?
I need more plans of things to do to look forwards to, I think. Tomorrow is an appoint
Ok so I got two ideas and they'll be both in the same post.
Success Streak:
TW: Self-harm references/metaphorical imagery
(Go to the next page if comfortable with that.)
Success Streak
Ado, sometimes I hate being intelligent, funny, skilled, whatever the heck labels people embed within my skin, my flesh, to be stuck lest I cut them out. When I do one thing right that others can't, they then expect me to do it again and again later. They
Ok i just neeeeeddaaaaa write stuff about this ugly gross uhm wait this uncomfortable feeling
i feel like a nobody and feel like i am no one, like i have no future since i have no past, and like i am not a human being or a "normal" one or functioning one capable of being one.
I hat emyself so much and think i hate those around me even if i "shouldnt" but that doesnt matter because im pretty sure i deserve the hate they give (hehe....... abywone catch theat accidental reference..? *half
A
topics:suicidal-ideation
Do NOT continue if you are not ready to confront those topics. This is your only warning.
###
Fate has a funny way of catching up to us.
But perhaps I've evaded it more than enough times. There's a calling to the world you experience naturally, one that makes you stay, makes you think. For some people this is goals. For others it may be their legacy.
I am very much a person who cares about legacy. I want to leave a lasting impress
January brings hope,
false but there,
for a new self, new life, new world
February sees continuation,
lessening, but existent
Only time will tell if it is persistent
March tests dedication,
as it flickers and wanes
fighting along with the other pains
April heralds the news of change
For better or worse,
you escape the curse
May is spent pondering,
reflecting on the time gone by
Was i
It's like trying to describe a dog to someone who's never seen one and then asking them to draw it.
— Clark, Backrooms
Ok so idk if that quote is accurate to what I'm gunna be sayin', and i might e messed up a few words idk but anyway.......
Sometimes i feel like I'm trying to describe something to someone in an overly-complicated roundabout way when in reality it should be or is a simple/well-known/common concept or feeling or experience, but either I am Lacking [th
So. I want to make MLP accesible to anyone. I've been developing a "watch order" because, like many kids shows, it is occasionally a offender that will have episodes that contribute nothing to any other episodes. Of course, the reccomended order is "begin at the beginning, and go on till you you come to the end: then stop" but i get that many people simply don't have the time. *cough* @Ascended Grubberfly *cough*
So, the one i've been concocting is customizable. I'll have lists of the episo
So uhm
Ignore that forst likne
So I think I posted or wrote baout this before, at least abstractly/indirectly, but ima talk about axniety or something like that in publiccccc but in my head.
so its related if any of you remeber me talkingabout the futue seeming impossible. i think its the same feeling, but i think i undeestnd it a bit more.
i did a bike ride around public yesterday, and it was great. *but,* i was anxious before it cuz it felt impossible and i didnt wan
No epigraph lol idk
basically Happiness Pt. 2 tho
im kinda dizzy cuz i aint drank water today much yet idk and been sitting and wtcr it doesnt matter but it gives me brain fog i think and when i move a little bit in this i feel the dizziness and yeah but like i reLized when talking slightly anbout fourth of jul with people here on shard that i cant argue any or say any or have any oponions on it when suually id probly hate it for kinda no reason other than hstigng evrrything and
-Edited.thumb.jpg.593ff985f72cddc67c224a1d70e33d67.jpg)
