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About this blog

They watch us, each move.

Hidden, they see us.

Quietly, they take us.

 

We are but ants to Them,

Living in a glass world,

On display,

Our daily lives,

Unbeknownst and unparseable to us.

Entries in this blog

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2026/05/19 - Reminders

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh   Walls of Memories Markings on the wall— Symbols and icons that reference the life of a person you will never meet. It's art— The soul of a community— Spanning the ages—the lives. Shared ideas, thoughts, emotion, meaning.   Erased—for order or cleanliness. Years and lives, gone, before I can add mine.   Lines Lines—painful reminders triggering thoughts and images unwanted. Lines, murdering me from within
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2026/05/17 - Mirage and Hell

I apologize if these are repetitive or stupid 😊  Whoa, italic emoji? Weeeeiiiirdd edit: nvm it went away lol   Impossible I can't think—can’t speak, For if I do I will die. Though I'm already dying, My brain is frying, I'm on the brink, Yet I can't let myself think.   I need to get better, I can't remember, Because memories are thoughts, And I must not return.   Hovering I can't stand them Standing, ha
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2026/05/14 - True Life Hidden

Sorry for not posting in a bit, I've been goin' through some stuff and idk.   Jen, or Night Life Finally, it was night again. Jen sighed in relief as she pulled the pink hoodie on. She was a different person at home—herself. She sat on her bed and opened her laptop—she could be herself, just… not like this. Jen put on her headphones and entered the world of her dreams—a place she could be around others and be herself. She could be Jen.   - Lily
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2026/05/12 - Your Own Mind

Sorry if this doesn't make much sense; it's mostly references, my thoughts, and ramblings. Also, the first one has a lot of random words from other languages, even if it's just simple words like "a" or "the" or something. Heh. Also, if you read the banner, you'll see that I am feeling much better, at least as I am writing this on 2026/05/13.   WwwwWw Lingo, is ver neet. So many meanings, it d’p’n’ds on le context. Lingo changes, adapts, Nuevo es created, N
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2026/05/09 - Slow Unburdening

Chest Cavity My chest feels as though it’s collapsing, I feel the weight crushing my ribs, Making it hard to breathe, Yet painful to not.   Breathe set to manual, A conscious, painful effort. I feel as though I cannot breathe deeply, They are all too shallow.   I feel as though my chest is crushed, My ribs puncturing the organs, Exposed, heart and lungs on display, I bring my hands and arms up.   I hug myself, the on
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2026/05/04 - Tears of Love

Self-compassion You matter, you are loved. You have others, Who care. I care.   You are loved, You deserve joy. You deserve this compassion, You can allow yourself it, you deserve to feel loved, to feel… good.   - Lily
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2026/05/01 - Unoriginal, Unthoughtful

I might schedule multiple to be posted this day, since they're short.   Broken Record… Or Something… I’m a fool, and maybe that’s okay. I don’t need to stay the same, I can change. I can simply accept I am wrong and update my mind.   I, the broken record, just repeating myself. Stuck in a loop, a different kind of static. Getting nowhere, not even thinking. I write the same things I did last evening.   And so I should change, somehow.
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2026/04/30 - A Casket of Perception, Built From Expectations

Expectations and Identity Am I really what they say, What I’ve grown up being told, believing, An act I kept up, all the while a voice in my head telling me “this is not you”? It said “you don’t actually want this,” and I suppressed it out of fear. Others and I crafted my identity, and I feared contradicting them, changing, rejecting what they thought I was—my purpose, my pride, the reason I was loved? Though the voice questioned if interests had changed—if I was ju
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2026/04/29 - Short Poems in Pencil

I write poems in a notebook or sketchbook, sometimes.   Two Tools The pen and the pencil— Two different tools. Permanence and impermanence— Certainty and tolerance. Neither optimal, Mistakes both ways, Give and take.   Confusion at the Unthinkable Unable to ponder— I try to, my mind refuses to think. Unable to breathe— Too much, feeling sick. So sick— From eating, from thinking. But I must— Must know,
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2026/04/28 - Life Just a Dream

CW/TW: Self-harm, depression, possible interpretation as suicide/suicidal ideation, dissociation I think. Spoilered for the above CW/TW's. Also note that it might be a bit long. Sorry if it gets repetitive or whatever. I'm still posting my writing... and I'm trying to improve with my newer stuff. Note that the next entries will be posted one-per-day in the following days. I also took a bit of a break from writing... so there'll be less than you may think. If you feel I should
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2026/04/27 - Existing not Living

It's a bit depressing, I'd say. Like most.. haha....   An Actual Life I imagine an actual life, A different life. Why does it feel, Like my life is not real? I imagine a girl, Happy, sad, all. Depression and hardship, Moments of joy. A real life, A real home. A family—loving or not. A home—loved or suffocating. Not “normal,” with no emptiness attached. She makes me miss what I can only dream of. She makes me yea
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2026/04/24 - Unhinged Insanity

Uhm... sorry in advance for whatever I wrote. I barely remember it all tbh. CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNING: I don't know, honestly. Besides probably self-harm (or allusion thereof), depressing stuff/mental health stuff, maybe suicide idk, probably some gore unfortunately, ALSO IT'S 30 PAGES LONG WHAT THE STORMS WAS I THINKING. Or maybe 40+ pages. yeah 40+. Okay so I removed the worst of it, but still probably has some TW-worthy stuff, idk. Also it may be incomprehensible at times. I
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2026/04/23 - The Invisible 'It'

Watching, Always. Behind you, Beside you, Can't move, Can't speak, Can't look, But you know it's watching, Watching you always. From the dark window, From the dark room, From... something, anything. Always.   Can't move, can't speak. You freeze, lie still. You know it's watching, Moving is unthinkable, Or it will notice, It will see.   Run, hurry, Through the dark, To the light switch,
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2026/04/22 - Maladaptive Progress

Did I use that word right? ("Maladaptive") Anyway... CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNING: Depressing stuff, self-harm, potential eating disorder trigger/content, and maybe more I forget (I wrote this like a week ago)     - Uhhh, Lily?
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2026/04/21 - Suffering

Desire, Why? Knowledge. She craved knowledge, she needed it. Her cursory expertise in certain areas constantly nagged at her mind. She needed to... understand. She had to, lest she continue suffering. And she didn't want to be miserable. Or did she? No use going there again. - - - Taylor glanced up as a woman approached with an armful of books. She had long black hair that looked like it hadn't been brushed recently. "You like readin'?" Taylor said, trying to make conversatio
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2026/04/20 - Losing Mind

Ok.. so I wrote some stuff for 2026/04/18, but I kinda lost it hehe (uhhh.. in more ways than one...), and then I didn't write anythin' for 2026/04/19 cuz I was too tired.. Btw this story is a continuation from 2026/04/09   Latenight (Escape, continued)  The voice was painful to hear, in a way. It reminded Lily of… of things better left in the past. She looked up lazily, that brief burst of energy already fading, returning her to darkness. There stood… a man. Or, a guy. He ha
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2026/04/17 - Blizzard

Unmemoried, Unmemories Not knowing what is, what isn't, or what was; Questioning everything, life, my mind. What do I know, how much is real, what have I... forgotten? What do I do, why don't I want to, how can I find out?   - Lily
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2026/04/16 - Pain, Suffering, Memory.

Sorry, I've been kinda off and on the Shard.. idk. Just posting what I wrote in the past week or whatever...   Painful Glimpses A word, a place mentioned. Innocently, it drives a knife through your heart. Continuing, they twist until there's nothing left. Through it, held in—no pain expressed.   - Lily
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2026/04/15 - At Last, Rightness

Her Reflection, It Is She Lily looked up into the mirror above the bathroom sink. Then she smiled. Actually smiled. In this rare moment, the face smiling back at Lily felt... so very right. Not some stranger, but Lily. The water remained running as she stared, captivated. Her black hair... it looked exactly how she had always wanted it to. Her features, her face, her eyes, her... chin. It all looked so right. Lily turned her head slightly, looking at herself from different angles. She was c
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2026/04/13 - "Happy"

Authentic Self Who am... I? What is "me," "myself"? This entity? What do "I" want? What... "makes me happy"? When I can't define... Anything, anymore. How can I know when I'm happy, When I'm living true?   - Lilith (Lily)
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2026/04/12 - Wrongness I Wish Would Go

The Breath Disconnect, Unhooked. Mind freed, Connection severed. What the hell am I doing with this life?   Paranoia Oh no. What does that mean?   New, worrying meanings emerge. Why that word choice? Why so terse? Is that normal? Am I seeing nothing? Why am I scared... Is this real? Am I just... being swindled? Manipulated, played? A pawn, my body stretched as each pulls an arm in opposite directions.
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2026/04/11 - What I Now See

The Same What's the difference? We are both bound by patterns, you could say. We learn through observation, collecting data. We follow expectations... rules, scripts, norms. We produce the same output constantly. Are we really that different?   - Lily
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