The Battle for the Sandwich

[AltonicKeys he/him]

The game is simple - The most delicious sandwich ever sits on a hill. You must get the sandwich.
The point is to have fun and be original! Don't just say "I take the sandwich" cuz that's lame and boring.

The sandwich is whatever type that you love most. You like a PB&J? It becomes that when you take it.

Anything goes, as long as:
The sandwich isn't destroyed (I eat it, I burn it to a crisp)
The sandwich isn't duplicated or replaced. Fakes are allowed.
Your actions aren't too outlandish (The sandwich appears in my hand and stays there no matter what)

I'll start - I walk up to the sandwich and grab it.
I get to be boring because uhhhhhh

(Thank you everyone for Three Years of The Battle For The Sandwich!)

Edited October 24, 2025 by AltonicKeys
Happy Birthday!

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

I take a fishing pole and hook the sandwich out of your hand, then reel it towards me.

Edited October 19, 2022 by The Bookwyrm

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

I hold out my hand and levitate the sandwich off the hook, moving it towards me.

[StormingTexan he/him]

I send the 1985 Chicago Bear's defense to tackle you and retrieve the sandwich as you fumble it. 

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

I startle you with a creepy mask and grab the sandwich as you flinch.

[NameIess]

I lasso the sandwich out of your hands.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

I shimmy down a rope above your head, and come and steal the sandwich, thief style.

Edited October 19, 2022 by The Wandering Wizard

[AltonicKeys he/him]

I cut the rope, causing you to fall and drop the sandwich into my hands.

[Mr. Misting he/him]

I backflip over you and grab the sandwich out of your hands. I go to Subway to procure a decoy sandwich. 

Edited October 19, 2022 by Mr. Misting

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

I use magic to teleport the real sandwich into my hand.

[Mr. Misting he/him]

I eat my now useless sandwich and then call an Amazon drone to pilfer the sandwich.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

I bat the drone away using giant club sandwiches from Jimmy Johns.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I distract you by throwing Randal Monroe's book How To at you. It has a chapter about how to destroy a drone using sports equipment. While you're distracted and reading it, I palm the sandwich and put it in my coat pocket.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

I throw the book onto the ground and open a portal in your coat pocket. The sandwich lands in my hand again.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I use a vacuum cleaner to grab the sandwich out of your hand.

By the way, have you ever read any of Randal Monroe's books? They're good.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

I use the wasps I befriended to bring it out of the vacuum and into my pocket.

[Mr. Misting he/him]

I punch you and then I walk away. I'm not going to punch a man and then rob him, that would be quite rude. I do pick up the book though.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

I fumble with the sandwich, trying to keep hold of it. I fall into the sidewalk and it soars over a building.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

I catch it and duck into a barber shop.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I menacingly advance with a razor.

[Mr. Misting he/him]

I jump up from my hiding place in the barbe shop, having just finished the quality book by Randal Monroe. I trip Bookwyrm, steal the sandwich and proceed to run out the back door.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

I get up, brush the stray hairs off me, and run outside. I grab the barber pole and rip it off the wall, just in case.

Edited October 20, 2022 by The Bookwyrm

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I grab the barber's pole from Bookwyrm's hand, and go to the pole exchange to trade it in for a different pole. I then pole vault right in front of Mr. Misting, stealing the sandwich and finishing with a graceful roll.

[NameIess]

I form from shadows, grab the sandwich, and fade back into them.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

I reach into the shadows and take the sandwich back using demon magic.