The Battle for the Sandwich

[NameIess]

Batman leaps from the shadows and grabs the sandwich with his utility belt.

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

A bird catches Batman in its claws and flies away with the sandwich

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

A plane knocks into the bird, dropping the sandwich into my waiting hand.

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

A mole comes up from the ground and covers the sandwich in gold, then gives it back

[The Aspiring Archivist any pronouns]

A rabbit with ludicrously strong jaws bites into the gold and runs with the sandwich and then brings it to me.

Edited October 20, 2022 by The Aspiring Archivist

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

A random king trips Archivist and steals the sandwich, hiding it in an impossible to find place

[The Aspiring Archivist any pronouns]

I steal the Infinite Improbability Drive from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and use it to make it very probable to find the sandwich, and then find the sandwich. I return the Drive to the Heart of Gold.

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

The king, furious with this outcome, challenges Archivist to a battle to the death.

[The Aspiring Archivist any pronouns]

I agree, and engage in hand-to-hand combat with the king. While he is distracted, I take his crown and become king.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

While this is going on, I grab the sandwich while everyone is distracted.

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

A very unfortunate little boy happens to be allergic to lack of sandwiches and begins to cry

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

I appear after a long disappearance and yank the sandwich from Nerdy's hands and run it far away from the allergic boy.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

I trip Bookwyrm and take the sandwich.

[That1Cellist he/him]

I trip Wizard over Bookwyrm and take the sandwich.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

I burst out of the pile, dolphin style and steal the sandwich, returning underground.

[That1Cellist he/him]

I use my huge fishing net and catch the Wizard/Dolphin, and forcibly take the sandwich away from him with pliers.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

I pull off a wario fart and take the sandwich from the unconscious Cellist.

[That1Cellist he/him]

I still have many stocks remaining, so I R.O.B. down tilt the Wizard many times, causing him to drop the sandwich, which I then pick up.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I craft a diamond sword and upgrade it with netherite. I then use it to mug Cellist for the sandwich.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

I, as Wario, consume the diamond sword and run off with the sandwich.

[That1Cellist he/him]

I fly over and pluck the sandwich from Wario's arms.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

I go skydiving and grab the sandwich out of Cellist's arms as I fall.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

I pull the cord for Bookwyrm parachute and fight him for it in the sky.

[That1Cellist he/him]

I levitate over and stop them, taking the sandwich for myself.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

I take out my sandwich magnet and pull the sandwich towards me right as a gust of wind blows my parachute away, and me with it.

Edited October 20, 2022 by The Bookwyrm