The Battle for the Sandwich

[Eluvianii he/him]

I mourn the cow that died crashing into a concrete basement, then jump onto Thaidakar trying to grab the sandwich. Crying for vengeance over something that honestly was my fault. 

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

I kick Elu into the wall and make for the stairs.

[AltonicKeys he/him]

I collapse the stairs, trapping us three in the basement. I lunge for the sandwich.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

I become the hulk and jump to the top of the stairs.

[That1Cellist he/him]

I destroy the top of the stairs and greedily grab the sandwich before floating away.

[The Aspiring Archivist any pronouns]

I take out my wand and yell "ACCIO SANDWICH" very dramatically, taking it from Cellist. I then put it in my impenetrable vault that I got from being king.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

I meld my soul with the vault and walk away with the sandwich.

[The Aspiring Archivist any pronouns]

I sic my royal guard on Wizard. They attack him and steal the sandwich to bring it back to me.

[That1Cellist he/him]

But they bring it to me instead, as they were actually my hired mercenaries.

Edited October 20, 2022 by That1Cellist

[Eluvianii he/him]

They arrive empty handed, as I was one of those mercenaries and took the sandwich and sneaked away without anyone seeing. Sandwich in hand I hop onto the first flight to Jupiter.

[AltonicKeys he/him]

But they bring it to me instead, as they were actually my hired triple agents. Ninja'd

I had infiltrated the flight crew, distracting you with the flight peanuts and steal the sandwich. I parachute out

Edited October 20, 2022 by AltonicKeys
sneaky ninja

[The Aspiring Archivist any pronouns]

I sabotaged your parachute, so you begin falling to your death.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

I am launched out of a cannon and take the sandwich from the falling Keys.

[The Aspiring Archivist any pronouns]

I am hiding in your landing pad and I phase my hand through it and grab the sandwich when you land.

Edited October 20, 2022 by The Aspiring Archivist

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

I am switching it back to third person, and Wizard steals the sandwich, using all 14 WoT books as a hammer.

[The Aspiring Archivist any pronouns]

That sandwich was a fake and evaporates in Wizard's hand. Archivist has now run to the opposite side of the planet with the sandwich.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

Wizard forms a gateway and grabs the sandwich from Archivist's hands.

[AltonicKeys he/him]

Keys lands with a Minecraft water bucket clutch. The sandwich falls into Keys hands because the Earth is actually always spinning really fast, fun fact

[Eluvianii he/him]

I escape the spaceship into one of the conveniently placed X-Wings I found in the cargo hold. Going back to Earth and shooting Keys to make him drop the sandwich. I grab it and keep flying. 

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

I switch the thread back to first person and hire a ninja to steal the sandwich for me.

Edited October 20, 2022 by The Bookwyrm
Ninja'd. Of course.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

I double the ninja's pay and he steals the sandwich for me, instead.

[The Aspiring Archivist any pronouns]

I switch the thread to 2nd person and, being the innocent bystander that I am, watch terrified a ninja runs around with a sandwich. Suddenly, I see Archivist attack the ninja en-route, tying him up with a large ball of yarn and stealing the sandwich.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

I switch the thread to 4th person, and reality shatters.

[NameIess]

You switch it back to second person, and reality unshatters. Then you grab the sandwich while everyone else is too busy vomiting from all the reality and viewpoint distortion.

[Eluvianii he/him]

My shard of reality happens to collide with the sandwich's. I am unexisting, but happy. Ninja'd.

I switch to a mix of all 3 perspectives. Eluviani lands his ship and summons an army of demons that I decide to be near invincible. You all give up your hopes of getting the sandwich before his might.

Edited October 20, 2022 by Eluvianii