The Battle for the Sandwich

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

AesSedai and I get lunch and eventually become good friends. We decide to not let the sandwich put bad blood between us and share it, each of us taking half. We also have a variety of good lunches.

[Edema Rue she/her]

We do. We have a really good talk about the morality of fighting over a sandwich, and while our stomachs are full of other food, we decide the sandwich isn’t really worth it. 

[Immortal Platypus]

*bursts in randomly, right before @AesSedai318 takes the second to last bite of the half of the sandwich that they received*

"Can I have some? It looks really good. If you gave me some of the other lunch too, that would be amazing."

[Edema Rue she/her]

*shrugs*

“yeah sure, help yourself”

[Immortal Platypus]

"Awesome! Why were people fighting over the sandwich instead of just talking like this anyway? Non-nonsensical humans. We immortal platypi are far superior."

*Starts devouring food at a rapid rate*

Edited November 22, 2022 by Ookla the platypus

[Telrao she/her]

43 minutes ago, ImportantQuestions said:

*Starts devouring food at a rapid rate*

A large celestial cat floats down from the sky. "Puny mortal." She says as she reverses time. "Devouring the Sandwich is against the Rules."

The Sandwich disappears. Time and space tips and folds upon itself. Everyone finds themselves standing upon a green hill. The sandwich sits atop a stone pedestal, shining brightly.

"You may begin once more."

[Edema Rue she/her]

I morph into the dude that starts the hunger games and begin giving commentary as creatures rush towards the sandwich. 

[AltonicKeys he/him]

Memories flash through my head. Memories of strife and struggle. I start spasming on the ground. Everyone rushes to help my meat puppet while I walk up to the sandwich and grab it

Edited November 16, 2022 by AltonicKeys

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

Except me, who shoots the sandwich out of Keys' hand and it gets stuck high up in a tree.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

As we're now back at the beginning, I start making obscure MTG references. These drive everyone else insane and I take the sandwich.

[Edema Rue she/her]

Recovering from my temporary insanity, I shout, “I thought we were friends!” Like a dramatic little kid and come at you the way Wayne would if you stole his lucky hat. 

[Immortal Platypus]

15 hours ago, Telrao said:

A large celestial cat floats down from the sky. "Puny mortal." She says as she reverses time. "Devouring the Sandwich is against the Rules."

The Sandwich disappears. Time and space tips and folds upon itself. Everyone finds themselves standing upon a green hill. The sandwich sits atop a stone pedestal, shining brightly.

"You may begin once more."

I respond with a biting comeback. "I'm not mortal you ridiculous cat. And cats are worse than platypi. I said it. And I'll eat it if I really want to." I continue devouring the other parts of the lunch until I'm full. Half of my soul separates and abandons my body. It splits again, half of it ascending to where the cat resided and the other half goes to help @AesSedai318 take the sandwich from @NerdyAarakocra. Then all three parts regrow to become full souls that share connection so they can communicate and eventually return to me.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

ImportantQuestions breaks continuity into a million pieces with that little stunt. I reach through a continuity rift and take the sandwich.

[Edema Rue she/her]

I continually to advance on NerdyAarakocra. 

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I point out that we were only friends later in the storyline, and we can't be friends for 30 more pages because otherwise continuity will break and the forums will explode.

[Edema Rue she/her]

Realizing that’s true, I decide that I don’t need to feel bad about stealing the sandwich, so I proceed to do just that and quickly hurry away. 

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

I pull out a book and start reading.

Man, I'm hungry. I wish I had a sandwich.

[EmulatonStromenkiin he/him]

The shadows claim the sandwich from Aes as payment for nearly breaking continuity.

[Edema Rue she/her]

I rant to the shadows that I was literally the only one who didn’t mess with continuity, but they don’t listen. 

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

I break the sandwich free from the darkness, using my dagger.

[EmulatonStromenkiin he/him]

The shadows are distracted by the dagger, and now steal it. they consume the magic inherent in it, and drop it.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

I arrest Wizard for unsanctioned possession of a lethal weapon, and take the sandwich as the police drive him to federal prison.

Edited November 16, 2022 by Sequence

[Immortal Platypus]

I float rapidly (about 170 Mph) and as my souls unite in me and continuity fixes except around me, I reach through a crack in reality and one of my souls is vanquished as a price as I pull the sandwich back through the rift. Continuity fixes further and my rift reaching now has a range of 1 mile instead of 10 miles.

[EmulatonStromenkiin he/him]

The Shadows now take the sandwich from ImportantQuestion, as payment for him causing a rift. They vanish into the cognitive realm, the rift sealing behind them.

[Immortal Platypus]

"But I fixed the rift (mostly)"

*Reaches through last remaining rift hole into cognitive realm and takes sandwich back with the last extra soul vanishing and the rift completely repairing*