The Battle for the Sandwich

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

I peer into the cognitive realm, cause the beads to take the form of a dolphine and steal the sandwich, return to me, as I fully transport into the cognitive realm, for a brief second to take the sandwich and then I transport back.

[Immortal Platypus]

"The sandwich is in the physical realm. I took it. You have the decoy," I say but he can't hear me because I'm so far away. You all think that Wizard has the real sandwich except perhaps the large celestial cat.

[Telrao she/her]

The "large celestial cat" in question is the overlord of all timelines. That being so, she yoinks the time-warping platypus back to the right timeline and slapps him with a god-like paw.

"Don't do that again, child. It breaks people's minds."

[Immortal Platypus]

"But I never left the correct timeline. Unless eating the sandwich made me leave the right timeline. And your paw is really soft. It felt really good. Can you slap me again?"

[Telrao she/her]

The celestial cat paused. "That... sounds really weird, you know."

[Immortal Platypus]

"Yes, but it felt so good. I haven't been slapped by a giant furry paw in eons. So, can you?"

[Edema Rue she/her]

I suddenly realize something important; sandwiches are more important than naps. I have wasted crucial time. 

I retrieve the sandwich for the white tower and ride away on the “large celestial cat” while she’s pondering the weirdness of Questions’ comment. 

[Telrao she/her]

The celestial cat is very glad to be somewhere else, but she is also the size of the earth, and is unsure how Aes managed to get her to run away. She shrugs and yeets into space, heading towards her home galaxy.

[Immortal Platypus]

The "large celestial cat" is busy pondering and has not moved. In fact, the "large celestial cat" is so busy pondering, she falls asleep and the I steal the sandwich and jab it onto my venomous ankle barb for safekeeping.

[Telrao she/her]

Unfortunately, the large celestial cat cannot sleep. She is an insomniac, and hasn't needed to sleep in eons. So when the platypus tries to stab her with his ankle barb, she reverses the venom and makes it go inside of the platypus instead.

Edited November 16, 2022 by Telrao

[Immortal Platypus]

I jabbed the sandwich on my ankle barb, I would never stab a cat. And I keep my venom inside me any way so everything the cat did was irrelevant

[Telrao she/her]

*laughs*

[Edema Rue she/her]

Holds the sandwich pensively. 

“they do know I still have the sandwich right? like the cat never even had it…?”

[Telrao she/her]

*whispering* "That's all part of the plan. Now back away s l o w l y"

[Edema Rue she/her]

*backs away*

*with the sandwich*

*teleports away*

[Immortal Platypus]

9 minutes ago, AesSedai318 said:

“they do know I still have the sandwich right? like the cat never even had it…?”

*realizes that I never said who I stole it from* "Ms. Sedai must have stolen the decoy."

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I call in @Nameless from TLT to help with all of this mixed-up continuity.

[NameIess]

Nameless runs through the thread at full speed, continuity-destroying cracks spreading out behind him. As he's running, he snags the sandwich from @The Halcyon Girl and throws it to @Thaidakar the Ghostblood, before disappearing through a wormhole and travelling back to TLT.

[Immortal Platypus]

But I already fixed the continuity. @Nameless doesn't need to help.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

I smiled as I now had the sandwich. 

I teleport the sandwich into a secret hideout and I start making tomato soup.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

By the power of ninja'ing a person. I steal the sandwich.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I cast my newest spell, Transmute Sandwich. I turn the sandwich into a caprese panini. Everyone knows that caprese paninis don't go with tomato soup, and Thaidakar decides not to eat the sandwich. This makes it much easier for me to get the sandwich, and I ride off into the sunset. I make sure that I have enough protective gear to survive being in the sun when I reach it.

[Immortal Platypus]

"Thaidakar, did you know that sandwich was a decoy? The real one is still on my ankle barb, I mean, the real one is cleverly hidden."

Edited November 17, 2022 by ImportantQuestions

[Telrao she/her]

*happy Telrao noises*

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

He used teleportation to get the sandwich out of the ankle barb.