The Battle for the Sandwich

[Immortal Platypus]

For my case I bring in both Wit and @Shining Silhouette. Wit steals the sandwich back and Silhouette does other stuff. Meanwhile I critique you're grammar. "You used the wrong 'weather.' The one that fit the scenario was whether."

While you are wallowing in despair about being caught using improper spelling, I escape with the sandwich.

 

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I pay penance for my bad grammar. With that out of the way, I hire Perry the Platypus to get the sandwich from you. Perry wins, but I let him keep the sandwich because all I really wanted was to watch two platypuses have a fistfight.

[Immortal Platypus]

Ha! We don't have fists. Well, he doesn't. Also, Perry and I are besties and would never fight. We only faked it so he could get the payment and I kept the sandwich. I continue escaping.

did you fix the spelling in your post? i'm too lazy to check.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

Via a high five (See TLPW), I reclaim the sandwich.

I didn't change the thing because it makes the response less funny.

Edited November 20, 2022 by NerdyAarakocra

[Shining Silhouette he/him]

With a flourish, I enlist Wit's aid and snatch the sandwich from the witchy sandy snatch

[Telrao she/her]

Telrao elegantly lands in front of Wit and answers every single riddle of his correctly the first time. He gives Telrao the Sandwich.

Edited November 20, 2022 by Telrao

[Shining Silhouette he/him]

Fortunately, if we quote you, "he gives me the Sandwich", so Talrao is left emptyhanded.

 

[Immortal Platypus]

true

I didn't have the sandwich on that thread though. I keep it and escape. Also, see my preferred sandwich. It can't be stolen by anyone.

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

I use Jedi mind tricks to get Silhouette to believe I am the rightful owner of the sandwich.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

1 minute ago, ImportantQuestions said:

true

I didn't have the sandwich on that thread though. I keep it and escape. Also, see my preferred sandwich. It can't be stolen by anyone.

As Telrao said, the sandwich is everywhere and nowhere. Meanwhile, I ascend to shardhood for no reason whatsoever, becoming the shard of Randomness. I have a delightful dinner with Whimsy.

[Telrao she/her]

Unfortunately for Talrao, she never had the Sandwich. Telrao still has the Sandwich in her possession as she desperately fixes her grammar.

[Shining Silhouette he/him]

Silhouette is startled—his whole reality is shattered. He gives the Sandwich to Szeth and makes himself ANOTHER Sandwich to comfort himself

[Immortal Platypus]

yay! Whimsy!!

None of you have the real sandwich because Nerdy never had it. The sandwich is whatever sandwich you want and mine is unstealable. see my description of it for more details.

I now want another sandwich. Sil, will you make me one?

[Shining Silhouette he/him]

Sure! I make a sandwich for everyone in thread right now:

Unfortunately, that only includes the two of us.

[Immortal Platypus]

That's fine. The others don't need a sandwich. Thank you. This sandwich is delicious.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

Wizard appears and laments the fact he doesn't have a sandwich.

[Shining Silhouette he/him]

"You're welcome", I say as I eat my own sandwich.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I use Shining's recipe to make some sandwiches with my good friend Whimsy.

[Immortal Platypus]

How did you get Sil's recipe? did Whimsy like the sandwiches? These are what my name is about!!!

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

While I enjoy eating Sandwiches with Whimsy, I still want the original sandwich. I brainstorm ideas to steal the un-stealable sandwich. Suddenly, inspiration strikes!

Using my powers as the Shard of Randomness, I summon an exact clone of Wayne right in front of ImportantQuestions. The sandwich can't be stolen, but it can be traded for. The Wayne clone "trades" a -12 dollar bill for the sandwich, giving it to me!

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

That however is a unfair trade and I trade the Wayne his luck hat for the sandwich.

[Edema Rue she/her]

18 hours ago, ImportantQuestions said:

For my case I bring in both Wit and @Shining Silhouette. Wit steals the sandwich back and Silhouette does other stuff. Meanwhile I critique you're grammar. "You used the wrong 'weather.' The one that fit the scenario was whether."

While you are wallowing in despair about being caught using improper spelling, I escape with the sandwich.

 

Confused and angry that everyone ignored the fact that Questions used “you’re” when he should have used “your”, I explode into a fit of rage, going into the avatar state and killing everyone. Then I take the sandwich from Wizard’s corpse and fly away. 

[Immortal Platypus]

I wondered if anyone was going to notice that. Thanks for noticing it!!! That just made me happy.

I survive because I'm an immortal platypus. I still have the sandwich because Wizard never had it. Nerdy did. I steal the real one (instead of the sawdust decoy @AesSedai318 has) from his corpse and hop into my natural habitat, the nearby burned trees.

[Edema Rue she/her]

Leaving Questions the Platypus to believe he's winning and be happy about life, I study the real sandwich.

[Immortal Platypus]

3 hours ago, NerdyAarakocra said:

the sandwich, giving it to me!

Wayne didn't have the sandwich to give it to Wizard. I take my -12 dollar bill, the sandwich, and the Wayne clone's lucky hat (not the real Wayne's lucky hat, I would never do something so sacrilegious) and go down my secret escape tunnel in the burned tree. I fly away with Perry in the passenger's seat in his flying car and we share platypus jokes none of you would understand.

And how many times do I have to say it. I'm not a platypus, I'm an immortal platypus.

Edited November 21, 2022 by ImportantQuestions