The Battle for the Sandwich

[Telrao she/her]

Ignorant of the Chasmfiend-riding dragon turtle wizard trying to find the sandwich, I go to have lunch with Szeth in Shinovar, bringing the sandwich as the main course. He seems very happy about the sandwich.

[Cinnamon]

I would then take the path that they didn’t say.  This is because Liar will tell me that Truth will say  [whichever one is the deadly jungle ] and Truth, knowing that Liar is a liar will also tell me [whichever one is the deadly jungle].
 

I sit on a rock wishing I had someway to get to Roshar or bring the Sandwich to me. Then I remember about my Sandwich attractor ray, and decide, why not give it a go? It works! And the sandwich travels across worlds only to land in the palm of my outstretched hand.

[Telrao she/her]

Szeth is now very sad.

Edited October 30, 2022 by Telrao
Autocorrect argh

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

Just now, Cinnamon said:

I would then take the path that they didn’t say.  This is because Liar will tell me that Truth will say  [whichever one is the deadly jungle ] and Truth, knowing that Liar is a liar will also tell me [whichever one is the deadly jungle].

Yup!

My sandwich sense tingles and I lunge to the left, swiping the sandwich.

[Cinnamon]

I am now also sad, and the power of sadnesses brings Szeth across worlds to me, we ask each other why we are sad, have a great venting session and become life long friends. I ask him to kindly get the sandwich off Wiz by intimidating him with nightblood, so that we can share it. He agrees

Edited October 30, 2022 by Cinnamon

[Telrao she/her]

I follow Szeth and become his and Cinnamon's therapy cat. I comfort both of them with cute purrs. Szeth adopts me as his pet cat, and Nightblood and I become besties. 

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

10 hours ago, Telrao said:

Unfortunately for Nerdy, I already gained infinite life from the MTG game I'd played earlier, and so had no ill effects.

Quote

If you don't play MTG you can ignore this rant.

You can't truly gain infinite life. You can only gain an arbitrarily large amount.

Tournament rules state that any combo that can create an infinite loop has to be bounded by a large number chosen by the combo player. “Arbitrarily large” is the Magic shorthand for “infinite,” and combo players have their standard huge numbers to repeat a loop for: a googolplex, a million and one, etc.

 

If you set up Heliod, Soul Warden, and Scurry oak, rulings state that you have to break the loop eventually. You can go through it an arbitrarily large amount of times, gaining huge amounts of life (googleplex, a billion, etc.), but eventually you'll have to stop. When I set up infinite damage, I can say that I go through the loop "Telrao's life total plus one" times, and win the game on the spot.

I could also win with alt wincons, such as Approach of the Second Sun or giving my Blightsteel Colossus flying to evade the squirrels that the combo generates, and kill you with Infect.

Sorry about the rant.

I pop out of the sky, Kaladin style, and grab the sandwich.

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

Then a dog grabs the sandwich and throws it into a hat.

[Telrao she/her]

14 hours ago, NerdyAarakocra said:

Sorry about the rant.

Unfortunately for Nerdy, I had a secret bracelet with aons carved into it that would activate whenever I reached a life-threatening level of health, thus healing me constantly. 

I play a dog whistle, and the dog brings me the sandwich in the hat. I take the sandwich, put the hat on my head, and summon a legion of dogs with my whistle.

 

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

I make sure to be well-equipped with steaks as I slowly travel through the dog army, handing treats to all that try to attack me. Once I reach Telrao on her throne in the center, I bow. "O great Feline Elantrian, I as your humble servant, I only ask for your blessing in my endeavors. My family is starving."

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I fly overhead with a series of steelpushes, and yoink the sandwich from Telrao's paw. I don't want to be down on Sequence, so I also deliver some of Rock's stew for Sequence's family.

Edited October 31, 2022 by NerdyAarakocra

[Potato's Wit she/her]

I summon a chasmfiend to scare Nerdy while I nab the sandwich. I then ask an old friend(The Pumpkin King) to...er...stop anyone who comes close.

[EmulatonStromenkiin he/him]

The shadows were ignored by the pumpkin king, and they teleported the sandwich to them.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I throw a sphere full of Stormlight at the shadows, dispersing them. I then grab the sandwich. I then steelpush over to Urithiru, giving the sandwich to Kaladin in hopes that it'll make him feel less depressed.

[AltonicKeys he/him]

Kaladin disappears in a puff of stormlight, being an illusion lightwoven by me! I rush off into the vents.

[Potato's Wit she/her]

The real Kaladin comes, and is very mad that you used a lightweaving of him to trick someone. While you are distracted by actually meeting Kaladin, I steal the sandwich and go have a party with Lift & Wyndle.

[Eluvianii he/him]

I ring the doorbell at the party. Dressed as a dust bunny I say "Trick or treat!". You guys have no candy, as Lift ate it all. But you do have a sandwich. I happily accept it and make my way to the next house. 

[Potato's Wit she/her]

I run out, take out all my inner anger at trick-or-treaters who are over the age of 13 on Eluvianii, and walk away with the sandwich. Lift and I resume our party. You all have invites.

Edited November 1, 2022 by Potato's Wit

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I drop into the party in my Sheoldred costume and start a dance fight. I win, meaning that I get the sandwich. Lift gets some of my candy for second place, and Shallan comes in third.

[Telrao she/her]

I come in with my dog legion, dressed as Arlinn. We begin a super-complicated dance, backflipping, somersaults, and elaborate tap dancing. We finish, and our performance has drawn Eluvianii back to the building. We take the sandwich as a prize, the exit the home. I dismiss my loyal dogs, remove the costume (human hair does not smell nice!) and enter the cognitive realm, leaping onto Spanky's back and riding all the way to Scadrial.

Edited November 1, 2022 by Telrao

[Potato's Wit she/her]

I enter the cognitive relm. I put some human hair on telrao just to bug her, then go back to the party. 

Edited November 1, 2022 by Potato's Wit

[Telrao she/her]

Still in posession of the Sandwich, I shake my head to get rid of the stanky hair, and enter the physical realm again. I go and say "hello" to Marasi, then give the Sandwich to Wax as a present.

[Cinnamon]

I offer to trade Wayne (who immediately stole traded for Wax’s sandwich) my hat for the sandwich, it is a snazzy fedora and he agrees.

Edited November 1, 2022 by Cinnamon

[Throw TheLiving Silverware he/him/il/lui]

I put extra-sticky glue on my hand, planning to grab the sandwich and keep it forever. Unfortunately, I fall and get my hand stuck to the ground forever.

[NameIess]

I helpfully cut your hand off, then snag the sandwich from Wayne before he can give it to Cinnamon.

Edited November 1, 2022 by Nameless