The Battle for the Sandwich

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

You start sinking in the vinegar too. I use a fishing pole to grab the sandwich.

[Telrao she/her]

I lap up ALL of the metal from the ground and burn chromium, trapping me and Nerdy in a slow (?) bubble. Everyone outside watches in pure boredom as we move slowly. Several days pass outside the bubble, whereas within Nerdy and I have just finished a game of MTG. I win with an infinity life combo, take the sandwich, and drop the bubble, shooting away on a steelpush.

[AltonicKeys he/him]

(crazy how no one likes the french but that makes the poll even funnier)
As a cognitive shadow, I transport to the Physical before Endowment can mess me up. I ironpull Telrao towards me, cuz I'm probably heavier than a half dead cat

[Eluvianii he/him]

I casually pass by and drop a cartoon bomb next to Keys and Telrao. It explodes and the sandwich, by cartoon logic, is expelled away from it completely unharmed, and falls into my hands. I walk away just as casually. 

I chose that because my chair sounds kinda like a microwave when it spins. 

[Telrao she/her]

I burn bendalloy, then draw Aon Edo to protect myself from the bomb. I casually draw Aon Ashe, then Tia, blinding Eluvanii as I knock the sandwich out of his strange human hands, pick it up in my adorable fluffy paws, then teleport away.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

I make a trade offer. A dead mouse, some catnip, a tuna filet, and a cat tree. All for the measly price of the sandwich!

[Telrao she/her]

I accept the trade, then sniff the mouse. I am shocked! Bamboozled! The mouse was not fresh! I throw the mouse at Sequence with a pewter enhanced paw, then sleep in the cat tree. I am too tired to pursue revenge.

[Cinnamon]

I see my opportunity, and use my sonic sandwich attractor to yank the sandwich away from Sequence and into my waiting hand.

Edited October 29, 2022 by Cinnamon
Forgot ‘.’

[EmulatonStromenkiin he/him]

The shadows reverse the sonic attractor and it flings the sandwich to them.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

The shadows, being shadows, were unable to catch the sandwich, as it passed right over them. I however, contain physical mass, so I snatch the sandwich and jump into a getaway helicopter.

[AltonicKeys he/him]

But I had sabotaged the helicopter earlier, causing the area with the sandwich to fall back to me.

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

I start eating my inferior sandwich but I can’t. So I go hide in a wall.

[EmulatonStromenkiin he/him]

The shadows inverse everything except the sandwich, so only they and the sandwich had mass. they quickly went and got it.

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

Then all the no matter got jealous. 

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

...Can I just say that it's impressive that eleven people have voted and all of them picked Microwave?

Bookwyrm put the universe back to rights, making the Shadows incorporeal, then stole the sandwich. Then he froze time so no one could get to him.

[Potato's Wit she/her]

Yes, you can.

I defrost time in my microwave chair, then throw said chair at Bookwyrm. I steal the sandwich while he lies there* unconscious.

* On a small hill on Jupiter. 

[AltonicKeys he/him]

I take the melted time juice, drink it, and tear the sandwich away at the speed of light

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

Relativistic travel in the atmosphere causes fission. The explosion blasts the sandwich from your hand. I grab it and run, stopping only to drop Piranha Marsh and enchant the Worldgorger Dragon in my yard with Animate Dead, dealing infinite damage to Telrao.

[Telrao she/her]

I wake up, disturbed by the sound of repeated explosions. Unfortunately for Nerdy, I already gained infinite life from the MTG game I'd played earlier, and so had no ill effects. I take out my piccolo, play a happy little tune to annoy Nerdy, them whack Nerdy with my titanium flute, knocking him out as I make everyone lose The Game. I then take the sandwich and hop on Spanky, travelling back to Earth.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

I appear as a questioner on your path and I take the sandwich while you are puzzling over the riddle.

You come to a place with two roads. There are two statues, one always tells the truth, one always lies. One path leads to where you want to go, the other leads to a jungle of death. You can ask one question, what question do you ask?

[Telrao she/her]

I stand in contemplation, slapping my tail against the ground in mild annoyance. I think and think. No questions come to me. Then:

"How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?"

While the statues stand in befuddlement, I draw Aon Nae to let me see the paths ahead, showing which one leads to my destination. I hop on Spanky, snatch the sandwich from the Wandering Wizard, then play the Australian Anthem remix on my piccolo as I ride away.

Edited October 30, 2022 by Telrao
:)

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

Do you actually know the answer to the riddle though?

I follow the sound of the vibrations of the universe and they draw me to the sandwich.

[Telrao she/her]

1 minute ago, The Wandering Wizard said:

Do you actually know the answer to the riddle though?

I follow the sound of the vibrations of the universe and they draw me to the sandwich.

Yes. Maybe.

I burp, disrupting the vibrations as I teleport away (with Spanky) to Roshar.

[Cinnamon]

22 minutes ago, The Wandering Wizard said:

You come to a place with two roads. There are two statues, one always tells the truth, one always lies. One path leads to where you want to go, the other leads to a jungle of death. You can ask one question, what question do you ask?

I would have asked which path will the other one say is the right one, then go through the other one.

I stand, sad as I cannot see the sandwich anywhere and the Aussie anthem remix on piccolo pulls on my heartstrings

ninja’d 

Edited October 30, 2022 by Cinnamon
ninja’d :ph34r:

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

Just now, Cinnamon said:

I would have asked which path will the other one day to take.

 

That's half the answer....sooooo close

I return to my home in Roshar and I ride a chasamfiend around looking for the sandwich.