The Battle for the Sandwich

[NameIess]

I summon a horde of axolotls to steal the sandwich.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

I summon a horde of these to steal the sandwich.

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

I make my OWN sandwich. I’m getting too hungry to wait for the best one.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

Just now, The Halcyon Girl said:

I make my OWN sandwich. I’m getting too hungry to wait for the best one.

You can eat it, but the battle for the sandwich will continue. It's tantalizing scent and legendary flavoring call out to you still, even as you eat your tasty - but far less superior - sandwich.

[NameIess]

My horde of axolotls rampage towards the sandwich, destroying all in their path.

[Telrao she/her]

With my recently acquired allomatic skills, I burn steel, using my flute to boost me along as I pop from the cognitive realm to the physical one, simultaneously blasting the axolotls with Aon Daa, distracting them with the tantalising scent of lightly roasted axolotl. I snatch the Sandwich, then create illusions of other Telraos with the sandwich. I steelpush away, playing my piccolo to further baffle my adversaries.

[NameIess]

My axolotls persevere, joined in their chase by the endangered animal protection agents.

[Eluvianii he/him]

I take a moment to gaze at the axolotl army.

Which in my mind looks like this.

Spoiler

 

[Cinnamon]

I enter, confused by the chaos around me when suddenly out of nowhere I am toppled over by a flying feline! Telrao drops the Sandwich and all their allomantic vials shatter, I rush to grab the Sandwich.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

I burn atium and Lash myself towards the sandwich. I grab it and burn bendalloy, planning my next move. I drop the bubble, dodge through the Axolotl army with atium and electrum, and fly away.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

Having been hiding in the Bookwyrm's backpack, I jump out and snatch the sandwich from his hands, falling back towards the ground and landing in the seat of a convertible, which immediately speeds away at Mach 4.5.

[AltonicKeys he/him]

Sequence slowly looks towards the passenger seat with growing dread. She is met with the blur of me falling out the car with the sandwich.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

Altonic falls out of the car and rolls to a stop, dazed. I grab the sandwich, and then invite everyone in for a rap battle to determine who gets the ultimate sandwich.

[AltonicKeys he/him]

I sit up - 
"My beats are so sick, you will start to trip / My rhymes are so ill, you'll start taking pills
Falling from that car, you stared from afar / You're standing in awe, didn't note my skin's raw
Rub burn to the bone, I leave you all alone / So now please excuse me, see you in the cemetery"
and then i die

[Potato's Wit she/her]

I host Altonic's funeral, and while everyone is there being sad, I send an agent to steal the sandwich. I also pointedly refuse to rap.

[EmulatonStromenkiin he/him]

The shadows were the agent you hired, and they go rogue, stealing it for themself.

[Potato's Wit she/her]

I fine the shadows 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000$ for doing that, and nab the sandwich in the process.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

The sandwich is worth INFINITY$.

[CognitiveShadow he/him]

I hire a team of Swedish private investigators to study the ownership history, composition, dimensions, and investiture level of the sandwich. Then, I establish a crew- we rally the masses and form a revolution to share the sandwich. I hire a team of actors who all look vaguely like me and give them all printed out pictures of the sandwich, matching the same dimensions. As we gather for the ceremonial slicing of the sandwich to disperse among the angry mob, I cut the lights (we are in the dark) and my actors and I run off in different directions. I hide in the custodial closet of a planet fitness (to mask the smell) and hold the sandwich.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

A fish appears and steals the sandwich out of your hands before vanishing.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

I steal the fish, butchering it and cooking it to feed my family until I can get the sandwich. My children will live another day with this fish.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

I take the sandwich from the fish's grave.

[Potato's Wit she/her]

I give Sequence more fish. Then I summon Starving Venom Fusion Dragon and use it to steal the sandwich from Wizard. I also have my dragon steal all of Wizard's life points.

[Cinnamon]

But alas! Potato did not notice that I was disguised as the dragon, so once we have the Sandwich I stop lightweaving, grab it and run as fast as I can, I also give Wiz their life points back.

[Potato's Wit she/her]

...................... I soulcast the ground Cinnamon is on to vinager, then run over and take the sandwich before it becomes soggy.

Edited October 28, 2022 by Potato's Wit