The Battle for the Sandwich

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

I turn into the hulk and kick you into the ceiling. I grab the sandwich and make for the nearest perpendicularity.

[EmulatonStromenkiin he/him]

However, the nearest perpendicularity was where the shadow were massed.

[Edema Rue she/her]

After a long, hard journey, the caterpillar returns to the sandwich.

Edited February 3, 2023 by Aes Sedai

[Immortal Platypus]

I notice it trying to jump up, and pick it up. "Wanna have an alliance? We could have lunch with Nerdy." I whisper to it.

[Edema Rue she/her]

It is at this moment that the Caterpillar learns to glare. It does so, then determinedly frees itself and climbs back into the sandwich.

[Immortal Platypus]

Platypus looks at it. And looks at it. And looks at it. Then finally realizes that the Caterpillar must be magical, it can freeze people with glares. "I wasn't holding you hostage," Platypus whispers. "I was trying to make it easier for you to get to the sandwich if you said no. I can be nice sometimes." Platypus says, sadly. "Why do you always assume the worst of me?"

[Edema Rue she/her]

The Caterpillar climbs out of the sandwich. It nuzzles Platypus, then climbs into a replica sandwhich and promptly falls asleep.

[Immortal Platypus]

Platypus gets happy because, well, Caterpillar nuzzling! I grab the replica, with the caterpillar still inside it, and book it to the perpendicularity. I take the real sandwich  from Thaidakar because the shadows never took it from him(?). I take the sandwich and The Sandwich and go to meet up with @NerdyAarakocra for lunch with them and @Aes Sedai.

Edited February 4, 2023 by Being of Cacophony

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I bring some nice marzipan for dessert.

[Immortal Platypus]

I bring some pizzas, just in case The Sandwich gets stolen while i'm in transit.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

I decide to try and figure out what kind of sandwich the sandwich is.

Which means it's time for science.

But first I need the sandwich.

[Edema Rue she/her]

The Caterpillar nodded wisely; after all, it was omniscient. Good food, It conveyed, using Caterpillar-Speech. It distributed several leaves like breath mints, then began constructing a throne using the sandwich.

[Immortal Platypus]

2 hours ago, The Bookwyrm said:

I decide to try and figure out what kind of sandwich the sandwich is.

Which means it's time for science.

But first I need the sandwich.

Platypus' voice emanates next to you. "It is whatever the holder wants it to be. That rule existed since, like, page 40 i think.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

"Oh."

[Immortal Platypus]

I think @Aes Sedai's is, like, a nine foot long something wrapped in bread.

[The Stormfather He/Him]

i lash the snadwich into the sky, in which a shanay-im cathes it and throws it back to me.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

14 hours ago, wert said:

i lash the snadwich into the sky, in which a shanay-im cathes it and throws it back to me.

Due to the fact that this post was previously unbolded, it was uncanon. Due to the fact that "wert" is the best username I've ever seen on the shard, I graciously bolded wert's post so that they could have the Sandwich. I stole it immediately after, of course, but oh well.

[The Paradoxical Phenomenon he/him]

26 minutes ago, Sequence said:

Due to the fact that this post was previously unbolded, it was uncanon. Due to the fact that "wert" is the best username I've ever seen on the shard, I graciously bolded wert's post so that they could have the Sandwich. I stole it immediately after, of course, but oh well.

I hire a Rathbore monk to assassinate you. He fails, but in the wild motorcycle chase you drop the sandwich, which I grab using a reverse lashing. I carefully place the sandwich in an airtight aluminum safe.

[AltonicKeys he/him]

The safe was airtight, yes, but somehow it is not water-tight! By that I mean it can be absolutely shredded with my water jet. Which it does.

[Edema Rue she/her]

This all disappoints the Caterpillar very much. As a result, it successfully eats the safe. Not the sandwich, of course, but the safe where the sandwich previously lived.

[Immortal Platypus]

I grab a medium-rare steak, give it to altonic keys so he is distracted (even if he doesn't like it, it would surprise him that I'm giving him gifts), grab the sandwich, and continue on my way to lunch.

Edited February 6, 2023 by Being of Cacophony

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

Unfortunately, Lunch betrays you and frames you for rioting and burglary. As you are arrested, Lunch takes the Sandwich from you and gives it to me. I cackle triumphantly and ride off into the sunset.

[EmulatonStromenkiin he/him]

The sun sets, and the shadows ambush you in the darkness, stealing the sandwich and fleeing.

[The Paradoxical Phenomenon he/him]

But alas, the sun fails to set all the way, and you are stuck with the sun in your eyes. Therefore you do not realize I am in the passenger seat (or saddle, not sure what you’re riding) and snatch the sandwich. I jump out of the vehicle (or other) and use my body as a cushion to keep the sandwich from being ruined.

[The Paradoxical Phenomenon he/him]

3 minutes ago, EmulatonStromenkiin said:

The sun sets, and the shadows ambush you in the darkness, stealing the sandwich and fleeing.

Dang bruh I had such a good one

Edited February 6, 2023 by TheAlpha929