The Battle for the Sandwich

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

I decide to patent sandwiches. As the patent becomes registered, a happily walk up to Platypus, take the Sandwich from his hands, and hand him a cease and desist notice, smiling all the while. I then hop into my expensive company car and drive away.

[EmulatonStromenkiin he/him]

The shadows do some investigating, and discover that sandwiches are open domain, which voids your patent.

[Immortal Platypus]

Platypus realizes that @Sequence said "a" took the sandwich from him. He proceeds to hunt a down and take the sandwich back.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

Very disappointed in myself for allowing such a typo to escape, I brutally murder a and take the Sandwich before Platypus gets there.

[Immortal Platypus]

Platypus brutally knocks you out until he is already in the area of his domain, with the sandwich.

[EmulatonStromenkiin he/him]

The shadows trap you in a Tigger pit, and take the sandwich from you.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

I wake up from being knocked out. "Ow, my head hurts." I say. A nearby flashlight vender takes pity on me and gives me a free flashlight, which I shine on the Shadows. Since light + shadows = no more shadows, I take the Sandwich and leave.

[Immortal Platypus]

But I am not a Tigger, and Tigger pits can only trap the one and only Tigger. Seeing the flashlight, I eat my way out of the trap and bury Sequence in cheese. Then I take the sandwich.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I bury Being of Cacophony in trombones. I then teleport the sandwich out of the trombone pile and into my hand.

Edited February 17, 2023 by NerdyAarakocra

[Immortal Platypus]

I bury Nerdy in assorted foods. Then I take The Sandwich using my m4d skillz.

[AltonicKeys he/him]

An ice cream truck jingle plays. Everyone is momentarily distracted, and I pour ice cold water on Cacophony. I take the sandwich easily.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I get some ice cream and use my r4d ski11z to take the sandwich from Altonic.

[Immortal Platypus]

"Ha!" Platypus yells. "You made the same mistake as the shadows did. You took it from a non-existent person! I am PLATYPUS!!!!!!!!"

[AltonicKeys he/him]

I stare in disbelief as the sandwich dissolves into dust in Nerdy's hands.

I throw a bucket of screws at Platypus.

[Edema Rue she/her]

Unbeknownst to everyone, The Caterpillar and the sentient Mushroom were on their honeymoon in said bucket of screws. They landed on the sandwich.

my brother just read that without context. He’s very concerned.

[Immortal Platypus]

I shake them off as I run, unintentionally. As we all know, Caterpillars and sentient Mushrooms can't hold on very well.

[EmulatonStromenkiin he/him]

The Shadows trip Platypus, and take the sandwich from his prone form

[Immortal Platypus]

Before they could take the sandwich, he rolls a DEX saving throw to stay up. He gets a 19 and succeeds.

[AltonicKeys he/him]

I point out that the die is weighed. This invalidates the throw, and Platypus trips again.

[Immortal Platypus]

I point out that it is weighted all sides equally. This un-invalidates the throw and I don't trip.

[Edema Rue she/her]

During this process, the Caterpillar and the Mushroom climb into the sandwich.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

Where they sadly suffocate. Platypus is deeply disturbed by the death of his good friend the Caterpillar, and sets down the Sandwich to cry. I take this opportunity to steal the Sandwich and walk away, quickly paying my respects to Caterpillar and Mushroom.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

But it turns out that I had the sandwich all along and had used my r4d ski11z to switch it while Platypus was celebrating his victory!

[Immortal Platypus]

Due to this incorrect statement (Altonic keys very clearly said that the fake you stole dissolved into dust in your hands), Sequence is confused. I take the opportunity to take the sandwich from her.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

22 minutes ago, Being of Cacophony said:

Due to this incorrect statement (Altonic keys very clearly said that the fake you stole dissolved into dust in your hands), Sequence is confused. I take the opportunity to take the sandwich from her.

However, I already stated that I had switched the sawdust with the actual sandwich! As you realize your mistake, I escape with the actual sandwich.