The Battle for the Sandwich

[Wittles he/him]

I go to the australian government and ask them to let me respark the emu war and to lend me their most elite emu fighting equipment. using this equipment I take down the emu and take back the sandwich and escape on my ostrich.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

However, I intercept you in your tracks on my secretary bird, reclaiming the sandwich.

[RaeTheRaven]

I distract the bird with a shiny object and it trips. As Aara stumbles off its back, I grab the sandwich and retreat into the bushes.

[NameIess]

I control the bushes with my incredibly powerful powers of plantkinesis and make them steal the sandwich from you.

[Cellit he/him]

I didn't know that for it to be canon it had to be in black.
 

I woke up from a dream that told me to ask  @EmulatonStromenkiin for advice to win the sandwich
waiting for advice...

[RaeTheRaven]

While Cellit waits for advice, I steal the sandwich and teleport to the other end of the universe where the sandwich and I can start our new life together. 

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

However, you fall into the diabolical trap set by my southern cassowary. It returns the sandwich to me!

[RaeTheRaven]

Unfortunately, your cassowary is severely allergic to sandwiches and quickly succumbs to anaphylaxis. While you attempt to save your bird, I take the sandwich and skip away into the sunset. 

[NameIess]

The sunset turns out to be a piece of cardboard with a lamp behind it, and I jump out from behind it and steal the sandwich.

[PyroPhile]

A portal appears and teleports the sandwich into my hand.

[Cellit he/him]

I cut off your (@Pyrophile) hand and steal your sandwich

[EmulatonStromenkiin he/him]

9 hours ago, Cellit said:

I didn't know that for it to be canon it had to be in black.
 

I woke up from a dream that told me to ask  @EmulatonStromenkiin for advice to win the sandwich
waiting for advice...

To your horror, you discover that he does not exist in any universe accessible to the sandwich. While you are reeling from this discovery, the shadows snatch the sandwich from you.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I manage to revive southern cassowary with a magical crystal thing, turning it into the most powerful flightless bird in all of existence. With my powers as the Shard of Randomness and riding the cassowary, who is named Bob the Archmage, I have no trouble taking the sandwich. I then cut it into two triangles to share with my good friend Whimsy. My half is almost to my mouth, when...

[RaeTheRaven]

A great puff of smoke blows in your face and puts you, your cassowary and your friend Whimsy into a deep sleep. I calmly walk up to you wearing a magic gas mask and grab both halves of the sandwich. I use some mysterious magics to reunite the two halves of the sandwich and then leave you all asleep on the ground. 

Edited January 23, 2023 by RaeTheRaven
Typo

[Cellit he/him]

I do black magic and the sandwich appears in my hand, I am in Spain and the government protects me. No one can get close without being shot down

[RaeTheRaven]

However, I'm immune to all threats physical or magical, and therefore I just walk up to you and grab the sandwich. 

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

I use a verbal threat, and you get scared and run away. I grab the sandwich and flee.

[NameIess]

I pull the sandwich from my hat and vanish in a puff of smoke, leaving everyone bedazzled and confuzzled.

[EmulatonStromenkiin he/him]

The puff of smoke snatches the sandwich, as it was actually the shadows. they vanish with it.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I turn your sleeping gas into a TOH reference. I then use the power of pop culture to reclaim the sandwich!

[Cellit he/him]

I'm going to ask Brandon Sanderson for advice, the only one who ever managed to win this game.

[RaeTheRaven]

Unfortunately, I taught Brandon everything he knows about winning sandwiches so his advice won't help you against me. 

Edited January 24, 2023 by RaeTheRaven

[NameIess]

Fortunately, I taught Brandon Sanderson everything he doesn't know, so I have advice that will help you against him.

I keep the advice to myself and steal the sandwich successfully.

[Cellit he/him]

You both wake up from a dream, Brandon has never spoken to you and he's an expert at stealing sandwiches.
It tells me what I have to do but it's not time yet, so I take the sandwitch from NerdyAarakocra

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I chase after you, and we have an epic anime fight scene. I win and take the sandwich, as I've trained in Fadran's shard RPs.