The Battle for the Sandwich

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

As that whole thing was unbolded, I take the sandwich by snatching the bird out of the sky with telekineses. I, using the tesseract I found in an alternate universe, disappear.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

I, being a master of tesseracts, unfold it, trapping you in the bulk of the fourth dimension without any way out. I take the sandwich and tesseract to a peaceful, isolated planet to eat it in peace.

[Éowyn Storm she/her]

Just as Bookwyrm is about to take a bite of the sandwich, I pluck it from their hand. I sprint off with it and go to the store for some chips to eat with my sandwich.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

Bookwyrm sighed as he stood up and trotted away.

No point in it anyhow. I wonder why I switched back to third person.

Bookwyrm walked for a few hours before reaching a large tree that towered above the landscape.

They're going to yell at me for ignoring the sandwich again, aren't they?

[Éowyn Storm she/her]

I sit down under a tree near Bookwyrm with my newly acquired chips and the sandwich. I carefully place some chips in the sandwich to add some extra crunch. 
Mmm, looks scrumptious. <attempts to take a bite>

[AltonicKeys he/him]

Sensing Bookwyrm's sadness, I throw 2 pounds of confetti onto him. "Do whatever you want."

I then boldly tackle Éowyn onto a nearby tree root. This hurts her spine, and she somehow gets the sandwich into one of the branches. The chips are dislodged in the process because ew.

[EmulatonStromenkiin he/him]

The shadows, who had been waiting for an opportunity, snach the sandwich out of the tree, then flee.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

I point out the fact that shadows contain no physical matter or volume and therefore cannot hold a sandwich. With this newfound logic, I am able to take the sandwich from where it has dropped to the ground.

[AltonicKeys he/him]

Smoke grenade! Everyone is blinded.
Shuffling, sounds of struggle. As it clears, Sequence finds the sandwich that was previously in her hands... Still in her hands.

 

 

So I bite her hands.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

My hands fall off. I start screaming. The sandwich rolls away.

[EmulatonStromenkiin he/him]

1 hour ago, Sequence said:

I point out the fact that shadows contain no physical matter or volume and therefore cannot hold a sandwich. With this newfound logic, I am able to take the sandwich from where it has dropped to the ground.

Quote

this hasn't stopped them before. they can't eat the sandwich either, but that doesn't stop them.

The shadows snatch up the shadow of the sandwich, and pull it along, somehow also bringing the sandwich attatched to it's shadow.

[Éowyn Storm she/her]

Using the power of my mind, I sever the shadow’s connection with the sandwich. Before it falls on the ground, I drop kick it into the sunset. 

[EmulatonStromenkiin he/him]

This group of shadows is left confused, holding the shadow of the Sandwich in their "hands" as the shadowless Sandwich flies off into the sunset.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

Bookwyrm wondered which sunset it was, because countless quintillions of sunsets are happening at any given time in the universe.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I steal the Heart of Gold from Zaphod Beeblebrox. With the Infinite Improbability Drive, it's trivial for me to claim the sandwich.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

Oh...it's been a while...

A giant vat of custard buries you as it spontaneously appears in the void.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I use the S.E.P. field to make the vat of custard Somebody Else's Problem, and continue my cruise unabated.

[EmulatonStromenkiin he/him]

Because timetravel, the sandwich ceases to exist in any universe that has hitchhikers.

[AltonicKeys he/him]

I throw my universe-hopping chair at the shadows (Why would I use it, who knows how dangerous it is). When they would come back with the sandwich, they'd fall into the pit I just dug.

[Shadowed they/them]

I walk up to Keys and politely ask for the sandwich whilst walking towards them, forcing them backwards into their own pit.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

I leave the fourth realm using a pair of scissors. I take back the sandwich using telekineses.

[Cinnamon]

Sparky the Feruchemal dog charges in and snatches the sandwich from Thaidakar’s grasp safley depositing it in my hands.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

Jimmy the hotdog superhero takes the sandwich back and gives it to me.

[Cinnamon]

Sparky eats Jimmy and flys off with the Sandwich.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

The sandwich falls into a Wyrmhole and appears in my hands.