Silva

Today is my 1st Shardversary!!!!  It's been great!!!  As per usual, I have completely decimated a speech from... Lord of the rings... again,

Me when I joined the Shard: I can’t do this, I’ll forget my user, I’ll take the spiked cookies, Sam.

Me after the first while: I know. It’s all wrong. By rights I shouldn’t even be here. But I am. It’s like in the great cosmere, Mr. Frodo. The tenth pancakes that really mattered. Full of spikes and shardblades, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know where they came from. Because how could TUBA be real? How could the world go back to the way it was when so many cookies had been offered? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, these spikes. Even Introduction threads  must pass. A new post will come. And when the RPs shine they will shine out the clearer. Those were the cookies that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Sharders in those stories had lots of chances of turning away spikes, only they didn’t. They kept accepting. Because they were holding on to something.

Me when I joined the Shard: What are we holding onto, Sam?

Sam: That the Shard is a great place to Binge, Mr. Frodo… and it’s worth fighting for.

A special thanks to all the Mods, I really appreciate all the work you do on the shard!!!

Thank you all for an amazing year on the Shard!!!! 

A small sample of hilarious InspiroBot quotes, because I’d forgotten this bot existed: 

Thanks for following me

I have finished the Poem!

is it known boi

that i am a Stone boi

maybe some bone boi

im not alone boi

this “poetry” makes me groan boi

I was created for the throne boi

parks are my zone boi

 I am no aon boi

i used to be a full grown boi

this world has no phone boi

i am now a loan Boi

i have never flown boi

of course the lawn is mown boi

no it was not thrown boi

my cover is blown boi

that’s some good tone boi

Is that a cone boi

that is a lone boi

it ends on its own boi

you see, I am done* boi

Quote

*done pronounced like bone

May the Forth be with you ALL!!! 

Happy Star Wars Day!

I don't get it.

For well over a year now, I've been on and off on the Shard. An overwhelming amount has changed now that I'm back here, once again. Some of you, I knew for a month, just long to get to know you, and then forget you. 14 days ago marked my second anniversary of joining the Shard. Every time I get back on the Shard, hundreds of new notifications bombard me, but time doesn't allow that I view these.

My life has changed too. When I was consistently on in early 2019, I was a completely different person than I am today. I came to be great friends with many of you, and alas, the me whose words you read today isn't the same person. Hundreds of days, summer days where I find myself hard at work, busy throughout the day, autumn days of school and sadness as winter rolls in, winter days where I sit in the comfort of my home and venture outside only when necessary,and spring days, acting as almost a rebirth, where I grow a year older and school ends. It feels like a never-ending cycle as the years go by, yet I know that time, inevitably, will pass away and change will come. Change that, while good, makes me queasy when I consider it. 

The world has changed. In early 2019, I began to pursue interests outside of the Shard, in addition to the growing pressures of school as the year ended, and as a result the time spent in this community dwindled to meet my needs outside of the Shard. Over the summer, I held several summer jobs and was always busy. And then, I began high school that fall. While I made attempts throughout this period to reenter the magical world, friendly community, and happy place that the Shard was, new challenges and roadblocks occurred. Including COVID-19, which one might assume would allow me more time, yet my circumstances at home result in me having less time. 

For well over a year now, nearly 15 months, I have done my best to rejoin continually, and have consistently found it unviable or not possible. And believe me, I want to.

I hate saying goodbyes. 

But I can't keep doing this, leaving you amazing people with a tiny semblance of hope that someday, I might return with full activity, when in fact, that possibility isn't really a possibility. So, though many of you that may see this don't know me, and won't ever know me, I am saying goodbye. Goodbye to all the members of these forums, regardless of whether you knew me in my time or not. Goodbye especially to those in the Alleyverse, TUBA, and the other various roleplays I participated in throughout my time here. In the various PMs and other places, I always looked at the names of those who hadn't read the PM for a long time and laughed to myself, thinking I would never be one of those people. 

I am. And I know that to many of you, this message will mean nothing, having either moved on, or never having known me. That's okay.

I don't want to lead you on with a false hope, but I do believe that there is a miniscule possibility that one day, I might return in full force. The odds are against that possibility, so it's safer to say I might pop back up occasionally with a little status update or message in a PM. 

So again, I offer my thanks to all of you. It was a wild ride. Stay safe and stay healthy. 

Goodbye.

Two days ago was my Shardiversary! Thank you all for being lovely to me while I've been on this website, I've met an incredible amount of wonderful friends here and I am beyond appreciative. 

I like this song.  

Good Yom tov everyone 

Despite these hard times now is the time of geula and hope. I wish to all a Chag Sameach vikasher. May this be a time of healing and a new redemption for our times!!

A kosher and happy pesach

פסח כשר ושמח

So I guess it was my Shardiversary yesterday... huh. 

People aren't terrible beings.

People aren't evil at heart.

People deserve a better rep. 

People are great. 

People are wonderful. 

There is good in the world. 

- A spontaneous dose of optimistic thinking by Silva's brain 

I have to say that it is more than a little difficult to remain positive throughout this ordeal. My mother and father both have the virus it is very possible that I do as well. My father is terrified because he has an underlying condition which may make it dangerous and I'm in effect the only "healthy one" here. I'm beside myself with fear. To my mind only normalcy of even the smallest kind is allowing me to draw the strength to do everything that I have to do. The shard is a part of that and I need to thank everyone here for that whether we have interacted a great deal or only a little!!

People aren't terrible beings.

People aren't evil at heart.

People deserve a better rep. 

People are great. 

People are wonderful. 

There is good in the world. 

- A spontaneous dose of optimistic thinking by Silva's brain 

I just want you all to know, before I begin, that I’ve been hyped about writing this literally since I posted the last one. I’ve mulled over what to say, tried to remember parts...yeah. So that’s fun.  (Despite this, I’m still managing to write most of this way too late at night.) 

I’m posting it both in a status update and in my blog as a way of transitioning this tradition to my blog in the future. I’ve only done it once before, so does it need a transition and can I call it a tradition yet? Who knows. 

With that out of the way...another year happened. Which is a decently big deal on the Shard, for those of us who haven’t been around for ages, at least. It’s now been two years since I read the Sanderson Memes and Sanderfan threads during school, then decided this place was pretty cool. 

In the last year I’ve gone from thirty-one followers to fifty-four, thirteen days won to fifty-seven, and 1,038 reputation points to 3,904 of them. I made a blog and submitted my crappy art to the gallery. (Be glad I never submitted my Inquisitor sculpture...) I started some more forum games and some more roleplays too - who’s surprised - and the old ones have been just as fun. I even participated in a few discussions about the actual books.  

(I also joined Discord, which in my case is essentially an extension of the Shard, and that let me meet and talk to even more wonderful people. I don’t regret that choice.) 

This means it’s also been two years since I started gradually meeting some of the best people in the world. Because really, you are. Again, I can’t list all of you because I will literally run out of original compliments, and it’ll end up as something like “you’re cool! And you can write! I like what you write and how you talk!” for everyone and that’s not very nice of me, so to everyone I didn’t mention - that does not mean I don’t enjoy talking with you, laugh when I read your RP, and overanalyze your member titles. It just means I’m running out of ways to say those things without saying the same thing to all of you and feeling guilty about it. 

I’m going to begin by saying that it wouldn’t be fair to mention the people I focused on last time again, but also I can’t not because they are amazing too, so consider yourselves mentioned! Archer continued to help me through some emotional death sessions and Mist saved my butt recently. Also Po is Po and I really don’t have words for her. (@Archer, @Mistspren, @Blessing of Potency) 

Sorana is another storming awesome human being who must be talked about. If someone had told me a couple years ago that I would eventually be friends with a literal angel who also is an adult in Europe, I would have been very confused. But I am! And you are! You’re one of the nicest people I’ve ever met in my entire life, and everything you spend your time on, from sewing/quilting/doing magic with cloth to alltypes of roleplay, is just so grand. Your writing style is so beautiful and also you’re one of those cool smart people who’s bilingual. I know there are a lot of them, especially in countries that don’t speak English, but that doesn’t make them any less smart. So yeah, you’re awesome. (@Sorana, @bilingual people) 

Guess who else rocks? Meta. Meta does. You’re so witty that you should be Ene! Also, you write well. No arguments - you do. In addition, I have come and died in your inbox and you just causally revive me and send me off again to keep living in the world. How do you do this? No idea, but I’m convinced you’re a Feelings Sorcerer. Thanks for the Rioting and recommendations; you’re hilarious and way smarter than anyone has a right to be. Please do not stop being these things. If you do I will make sad puppy eyes at you. (@MetaTerminal) 

Next up on our list of Extremely Fantastic Human Beings is Stick! DoomStick, I will clarify, because this site has a trillion of them! Stick, we’ve been talking for ages and I would like to not stop, because you’re always super fun and clever and interesting. Like seriously, always. You can cook and bake and play an instrument and speak Latin and make epic rainbow loom things...the world is running out of things you haven’t conquered, dude.  Every time we chat, whether on the Longest Status Update or in the plethora of other updates or TLPW or our AMAs or anywhere else, you’re a delight to talk to, and RPing with Tourmaline and Olivia is no different. Thank you. (@DoomStick) 

WYN. YOU’RE A PERSON. A great person who has heartwarming RP, sweet things to say to everyone, and palpable love just...emanating from you. You and your stories are fantastic. James is fantastic - thank you so much for being in TKND. I hope that girl at your school learns how awesome the “janitor man” is. Your faith and humor deserve accolades. (@Wyndlerunner) 

Silva, for all y’all’s information, is also incredible. I mean, how many named NPCs do you have? And you keep them all organized and write awesomely with them! At this point you can’t convince me your brain could make words go together badly. Maybe if you had a concussion. No matter what we’re talking about, religion or magic dreams or cute deer, you are consistently amazing. (@Silva) 

Getting on Discord introduced me to Storm, and I am eternally grateful. I already knew you were fairly cool from our small Shard interactions and the fact that you founded TUBA, but now I know your coolness in detail! You’re funny and an epic storyteller, and I really like our conversations. I look forward to RPing with you. (@Stormblessed Dolphin) 

Lunaaaaaaaaa!!! I’m not sure why I typed your name like that, but! Whatever! You’re exciting! Having adventures with you is a highlight of my Sharding experience, and you seem to be able to just make fun nonsense happen through sheer force of being you. Also you can write! “Well I’ve never RPed before” *proceeds to make characters who I fall in love with instantly* (@Lunamor) 

(You can probably tell I’m tired by now, and this is getting long, but spike it I’m gonna rapid-fire verbally hug you all in no particular order fight me) 

Invo, you are obviously The Cool Kid but also you’re really thoughtful and you give smart advice. I’m glad I know you. (@Invocation) 

Salad, you are literally the best in every way! I love talking with you, and also we are the same in like fifteen different ways. Everything you say, I can relate to or agree with, with the sole exception of your British spelling. You’re a writing ace. hahahahaha worst pun ever we’re gonna pretend that didn’t happen okayyyyy I am so sorry but also I’m leaving it in so how sorry am I really (but seriously you are a good writer) (@The Awakened Salad) 

Ele, you were the first person to welcome me to the Shard, but I only really got to know you on Discord. You’re friendly and funny and I’m sorry I haven’t watched that one general man’s video you gave me yet, but I’m happy to know it’s there if I need encouraging. (@ElephantEarwax) 

Per, you’re supportive and cool and I am so sorry I haven’t been around to watching RWBY with you, it was fun! Jay, it’s great talking to you and I’m going to buy your books someday! (@Emperor Stick, @Jaywalk) 

Lith, you break my brain with your creativity! Zinc, your art and writing are frighteningly good! Star, your enthusiasm for your art is inspiring! Xino, you know how great you are at worldbuilding! (@ShadowLord_Lith, @ZincAboutIt, @Shard of Thought, @xinoehp512) 

Venture, you are steadfastly amazing and brave! Jac, you have really great ideas and chatting with you is a pleasure! Rebecca, I love talking with you in TUBA PMs and thank you for being a great Maid of Honor, even though it went nowhere! Same goes to Ash, who also killed me with her ships! (Condor will never be resolved...nooooooo...) (@Butt Ad Venture, @bees?, @Rebecca, @Ashspren) 

Mac, I marvel at your advice and wisdom! Truthless, I’m sorry I left HAHAR (hold up, that was its acronym? Ha har, a laugh? That’s gold lol) but RPing with you was fun! Honorless, your discussions are always great! (@MacThorstenson, @Truthless of Shinovar, @Dreamer) 

To everyone I have ever roleplayed with, I sincerely thank you. 

Let me get really serious for a sec. A common phrase when people are expressing love is “I love you to death.” Which makes some sense: “I’ll love you even past death.” “I’d kill for you.” It could also be interpreted as “I love you so much I want to kill you.” (Let’s hope not.) And...”I would die for you.” 

The thing is, I do love all of you, as friends, sometimes as much as family. Honestly, more than my own family in some cases. And I will continue loving you in the afterlife that I believe in. I would not, however, kill for you in most cases, nor would I kill you. Or die for you. 

But the last year or so has just hit me so hard that I don’t even want to think of a good enough metaphor. Sometimes the Shard was the problem, or made the problem worse. But most of the time, you guys have saved me. I’m not suicidal, that’s not part of my depression portfolio. But I’m living emotionally and mentally as well as I am because of some of you people. 

So I don’t love you to death. I love you to life, because that’s what your love did for me. 

*hopes that wasn’t as stupid as it sounds in her head as she pulls out a root beer and proposes a toast to another year* 

In the likely case that I don't have a chance tomorrow: פורים שמח! 

Though, this does mean that cleaning for פסח is going to start soon. Yay. 

We'll see how cremmy the formatting of this ends up being...Shard isn't a big fan of mixed together language posts normally...

In the likely case that I don't have a chance tomorrow: פורים שמח! 

Though, this does mean that cleaning for פסח is going to start soon. Yay. 

We'll see how cremmy the formatting of this ends up being...Shard isn't a big fan of mixed together language posts normally...

Egads!! My shardversery was 4 days ago! 
Man, it seems like yesterday that I just joined the shard and was trying to figure out how to navigate the site... It seemed like there was so much, but eventually I stumbled upon the forum games and random stuff. Little did I know that I was about to go down the best rabbit hole in my life.

This website is so awesome, every time that I want to smile or see some of the good in humanity I know I can come here and find awesome people who genuinely care about each other. I won’t name names because there are way too many and I know I’ll forget way too many, but thank you guys so much! You people are some of the coolest I know, and I feel lucky to be able to talk to you guys, even just through the forums. I’m uplifted every time I talk, play forum games, or *wins* with you guys. Thanks so much for helping make this year one of the coolest I’ve ever had!

I’m excited for another year on the Shard,

Truthless of Shinovar

Hear me out: what if you had the dystopian evil government and the main character goes off and joins a resistance group. 

And then it turns out that the resistance psychologically conditioned him/her and the government is either doing some not great things, but still keeping the world together or making mistakes while overall putting out good effort or genuinely just good and fighting the problems they supposedly cause, and the rebellion is actually what needs to be defeated, because they’re trying to bring down the actual social structure that keeps the world from anarchy. 

I mean, sometimes I worry about people joining terrorist groups of whatever country they live in because alllll the books do it and just...governments are flawed, okay, but if we overthrew them, in most cases things are gonna get way worse. The situation won’t improve. You just took down society and now you have to rebuild and deal with everything the gov. was. (Which can also be done well - hello, Mistborn - but only really if the ones in charge are evil or if the protagonists realize what they did was wrong.) 

Also, give me a character who, rather than being defiant in a situation that they shouldn’t be, does the sensible thing and caves. Let a starving character break and take the food offered by their captor. Let a character who’s been conditioned to expect pain at fighting back actually stop fighting back, and quickly. Let characters be human! 

Hm, maybe I should stop ranting about stuff before people start to think I hate all literature 

Silva, I just want you to know that we appreciate you. You're kind, insightful, and funny. Thanks!

(I don't know why i'm saying this I just kinda felt like it randomly) 

Hear me out: what if you had the dystopian evil government and the main character goes off and joins a resistance group. 

And then it turns out that the resistance psychologically conditioned him/her and the government is either doing some not great things, but still keeping the world together or making mistakes while overall putting out good effort or genuinely just good and fighting the problems they supposedly cause, and the rebellion is actually what needs to be defeated, because they’re trying to bring down the actual social structure that keeps the world from anarchy. 

I mean, sometimes I worry about people joining terrorist groups of whatever country they live in because alllll the books do it and just...governments are flawed, okay, but if we overthrew them, in most cases things are gonna get way worse. The situation won’t improve. You just took down society and now you have to rebuild and deal with everything the gov. was. (Which can also be done well - hello, Mistborn - but only really if the ones in charge are evil or if the protagonists realize what they did was wrong.) 

Also, give me a character who, rather than being defiant in a situation that they shouldn’t be, does the sensible thing and caves. Let a starving character break and take the food offered by their captor. Let a character who’s been conditioned to expect pain at fighting back actually stop fighting back, and quickly. Let characters be human! 

Hm, maybe I should stop ranting about stuff before people start to think I hate all literature 

y'all remember when i was active and at the top of week, month, and year leaderboard for like two months?

good times

Massive salt warning and a few allusions to spoilers near the end 

Okay so you guys know how I’ve recommended RWBY in the past? No. Don’t. Just don’t. The first three volumes were okay and then V4 and V5 I enjoyed more. One of those “it’s good enough that I can ignore the flaws (and there are a lot of flaws) (but again, good enough for me to still love)” deals. 

V6...happened, and I had this uneasy “I don’t have a good feeling about this” throughout but it was still pretty minor. There were a few Very Big Things which I did not like, but overall I thought it was still worth it. 

V7 hits and I was honestly feeling meh from the get-go. Just not as hyped as last time. I watched it and I knew there were issues but had a hard time vocalizing them to myself. 

I looked around the internet and found a teeny tiny corner of the RWBY FNDM that somehow said everything and said it perfectly. They analyzed and did character studies and looked at what was shown on screen; these few, few people were smart and I genuinely felt like my eyes were being opened. Wow, that sounds stupid lol, I’m talking about a show. But the issues are really big writing issues, some of which have permeated society and some of which are newer/more specific to this. 

I ended up watching the rest of the volume through a new light and looking for the problems myself, and oh dear. O h. D e a r. 

Well anyway I’ll still be watching but it’s sure not for the writing quality! *halfhearted yaaaaays*

So I can’t in good conscience recommend this to anyone. It promotes unhealthy behavior and straight-up lawbreaking, as well as the notions that adults are utterly unnecessary (let’s ignore the fact that everyone but two people in the main group are adults because who needs logic), lying and secret-keeping is pure evil when *anyone* other than the core cast does it (though they’re lying and keeping secrets about the exact same stuff...plus even more...plus with much bigger stakes...plus the person who did it to them had very little reason to trust them whereas they have every reason to trust the person they decide not to tell...) in which instance they’re perfectly correct and also wAy dIfFeReNt from the first person (no, no they’re not lol), alcoholism, trauma from murdering your years-long abuser/around-a-year-long abuser, PTSD from literally being ripped into pieces and then coming back to life, a bunch of other PTSD, whatever else I’m forgetting - oh that stuff is literally just dropped, never touched on, pffft who needs realism with mental health when we can toss it out the window for a fight? It’ll be well-animated, so no one will care that logically no one should be fighting it, for various reasons depending on the fight! 

In every case possible it feels like reason and logic and past characterization is just thrown out the window??? Oh and let’s not forget the sexual assault, and the emotional assault, and the physical assault, and the many cases of neglect, and the abuse, and how male abuse victims aren’t given an inch while female abuse victims can use it as an excuse for everything, the romances are objectively unhealthy hidden behind a veneer (sometimes very thin) of cuteness, everyone who has been been enjoyable is thrown on their heads by the writers to make no sense, the good guys literally fight other good guys of their own volition and team up with their enemies and also what happened to the humor in this because I could rant about that alone for an hour. It’s either funny but woefully misplaced, or just not funny. 

I just can’t. Can’t ship the characters I used to love because now I’m screaming at them. Can’t trust the writers to write anyone correctly. Can’t stop writing this impromptu rant PSA status update, apparently. 

I’m happy to go into detail about anything. At this point you could mention just about any moment or theme or character and I’d be able to go off. There’s so much it’s overwhelming. 

Sorry about this. No, it’s not out of my system. It probably won’t be until the series is done. Idk how they can even do five more volumes of this. 

Give me V1 RP where I can pretend all is well. (Of course I still need to write a ton for that. Gah. So much to write and here I sit ranting instead.)