Silva

Who is this person and why are they time traveling 

THE SHARD DIDN’T EVEN EXIST AT THAT POINT?!?! 

Who is this person and why are they time traveling 

THE SHARD DIDN’T EVEN EXIST AT THAT POINT?!?! 

Who is this person and why are they time traveling 

THE SHARD DIDN’T EVEN EXIST AT THAT POINT?!?! 

Well, I’m seventeen! 

I can’t be an adult in one year, that’s way too soon, something is just wrong there  

Tomorrow is my Shardiversary! (This is going up a day early because I will probably have almost zero time to write this tomorrow) I cannot storming believe that I’ve been here for a year already. Or that I’ve only been here for a year. Time is hard.

(Warning, this is gonna be incredibly cheesy)

In the past annual (sorry just didn’t want to say year too much) I’ve felt compelled to share my thoughts on the internet at least 5,669 times. People have been compelled to express their appreciation for such thoughts by use of internet points 2,200 times. I have gained the most internet points in a day 27 times. I have had someone decided they like my content enough to internet stalk me (but in a socially acceptable way (why the storms did I phrase it like that)) 53 times.

This has been an eventful year. I’ve been a husky, time lord, Horneater, owner of a restaurant, Ookla, Tribute, Nightwatcher, Narrator, godmodder, Presidential Candidate, Alien, Typo Police, Game loser (mwahahaha), TLPW winner, writer, Homeless (kinda), ninja, and bot. I was inspired to write my first piece of fiction and it was actually noticed by Brandon Sanderson (still proud of that). I’ve rped and played games. I’ve made a ton of friends who always brighten my day. It’s been a great year.

Anyways, there are some people I’d like to thank for being awesome! (Apologies some of these are short, rushed, or grouped together, I’d love to expand on these way more but unfortunately I’m crazy busy. And also I stink at this sort of stuff  Also my brain is tired so I probably missed some people.)

@AonEne, from evil keyboards to very aggressive games of tag, from moral support to rping, thanks for being an all around awesome person. 

@Shard of Thought, thanks for making things interesting in TLT. I love seeing your drawings and reading your posts. Also thanks for drawing my face 

@Sorana, thanks for being a ridiculously awesome person to rp with. Your writing is amazing, and thanks for putting up with my random absences/procrastinations and being such a kind person.

@Jaywalk, @DoomStick, @Handerfle, @Nathrangking, @Honorless, @Truthless of Shinovar, @Butt Ad Venture, @xinoehp512, @Rebecca, @Silva, and the rest of the Forum Games crew, thanks for making me constantly laugh and smile. Never stop the randomness!

@Alvron, thanks for being a bot-obliterating mod who somehow has 30,000 different memes about winning. I may or may not still be slightly terrified intimidated by you.

@Wyndlerunner, thanks for always being supportive and hilarious.

@Everyone else (I wish I could tag you all (except for the bots you guys are just evil)), thanks for making the Shard the best place on the internet.

Guys. It’s been a year. An entire year since my friend finally convinced me to join Discord and then, feeling a little crazy, I decided to join the Shard too. Best. Decision. Ever. I would not be who I am right now had it not been for this glorious little community. My identity has gotten a whole lot stronger because of my time here. AND SO HAS MY ART. I know I’ve said this a ton, but I would not be as good of an artist had not joined the Shard. You guys inspire me to keep drawing and it is insane how much better I’ve gotten since I joined. Seriously insane. Like, Astral kind of insane.  I really hoped I would have had my Sharders drawings ready to post today… but y’all know I’m terrible at deadlines. (Stick, I’m so sorry I haven’t drawn Dalinar. In all honesty, it’ll probably never happen. ) So I’m sorry. I will get it posted eventually though, I promise. However, I do have something really cool for you. 115. That’s how many posts to the Gallery I have. AGH!!! You guys, that is crazy! I have posted more art than any other user on the Shard. And I’ve only been here for a year! I’ve drawn the faces of several of my favorite RP characters to celebrate!! The reason why I’m able to do these a lot faster than the Sharder faces is because I actually know what I’m drawing and I don’t have to make up a new face every time. You will notice two new faces on here though; Granite is between Astral and Sophie and Rose is on the far left of the third row. I had a lot of fun working on this project. I drew five of the faces today, actually. It was so hard to draw Tom, ‘cause by that point I was just done with all of it. Anyway, enjoy!

And onto the next section of this massive post. (sorry, not sorry ) Even though I’ve never really met any of you guys in person, I feel like I could spend a whole day with any of you and feel right at home because you are seriously the best. I don’t have near enough time to cover all of you, but here I go pointing fingers and throwing love all over the place. 

First of all, @xinoehp512. I seriously don’t think anything I have to say will ever fully express just how much I love you and your marvelous ability to imagine. I swear you live on three different planets at once. It’s amazing and I can only dream of having that level of immense creativity. I want to give you and every single one of your characters a hug. Especially Tom. Tom is the best. But seriously, I live for your posts on CBST. You make it come to life in such a beautiful way. It is truly wonderful to write with you. I can never thank you enough for your stories; they make the impossible seem simple, the grey seem colorful, and reality seem far away. That’s something I really need sometimes. 

Good ol’ @BringerofShadows! I’ve said it so many times, so many ways, but straight up, Heather is awesome. It’s so crazy to me that she went from being one of Star’s main adversaries to her dear friend, daughter in all but blood. You have a very unique and spunky personality and I truly enjoy talking with you. 

And @Butt Ad Venture! I’m sure you already know what you mean to me, but it has been a joy to get to know you. You are a wonderful friend and sometimes you are the only thing that keeps me sane. I don’t know what I’d do without you. 

To the whole CBST crew though, cheers to making a wonderful story. You are among my favorite people ever and I love each of you so STORMING MUCH!!!!

Speaking of CBST (kinda) what would Star be without @Jaywalk? I know you aren’t officially a part of CBST (but you should be) but your hand in the stories of Star, Astral, Sophie, and Max are quite invaluable and Jay’s own vein of plot is quite touching to me. It’s so cool to see your own personality hidden in the facets of your characters and the way you write. Keep being nerdy, keep being awesome. I love you!

@Lunamor!!!! You joined the day after I did and we’ve been neck and neck for posts and upvotes ever since. Your wit and energy are nearly unmatched and your impact on the Forum Games section is legendary. You make everything and everyone around you bright and happy and that is truly a gift to be proud of. 

@AonEne, you have such a sweet spirit. I remember when I first joined, you were like this super popular cool person and I was honestly kind of scared of you, but now that seems absolutely ridiculous because you are so incredibly understanding of literally everything which I’m sure any other Sharder would agree with. 

@DoomStick you are such an easygoing, creative and fun person. All your hobbies are so cool - I wish I could fence and cook and the bass is like the coolest instrument ever. 

And seriously, to each and every one reading this, you are all amazing. Thanks for a great year! Looking forward to another one.

Me: misses every thousand-post marker or forgets to do something important for it 

Also me: has an actual plan for what to do on her 5,000 post 

Also me: remembers it up until the 4,999th post 

Also me: posts on TLPW, freaks out slightly, remembers the count doesn’t go up there and relaxes, admonishing self and telling myself to be careful 

Also me: posts on an Alleyverse thread five minutes later 

Fate doesn’t want this to happen guys 

Well, two things. 

One is just a note that unfortunately one of my rats, Siri, passed away sometime today. I didn’t know until we got home from our cabin, we’d been up there for the weekend. So rest in peace, smol furball. 

Two is that I’m a post away from 5,000 and have exactly one idea for what to do with it. Any ideas other than big RP post or AMA would be appreciated  

Okay guys, picture a (serious) magic system based around breaking the fourth wall in various ways. The main idea in my head is someone who can read minds by seeing thought bubbles over peoples’ heads. Also someone who can hear the narrator and is therefore clairvoyant. 

“Hey, why do you keep staring above my head while we’re talking?” 

“Um, what? I wasn’t - was I doing that? Er, sorry.” They weren’t about to tell them that they’d been reading their thoughts as they appeared. 

“YOU’RE READING MY THOUGHTS?” 

“WAIT HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT” 

I literally do not even have personalities for this pair, and this one offhand interaction is making me ship them help 

Guys. Does anyone remember me?

*The crowd hushes as the light in the theatre go off, one by one.*

*A man with metal spikes through each eye steps out from behind the curtain, grinning charmingly.*

*He lifts the microphone to his mouth, taking off his jacket as he does so. He throws it to a random man, who happens to be named Axel, who screams in joy and faints.*

"Thank you all for coming today. I'm one of the Ark Production crew. I'm one of thirty odd of the Profile Picture Team. But now, the musical you've all been waiting for...

Ark1002, the epic story of heroes and villains, of good and evil, of guac and salsa, of eggnog and hot chocolate, of pancakes and waffles, of cookies and more cookies!"

*The man runs of the stage, grinning, as the curtain parts.*

*Standing there, wearing a strange combination of military boots, singlets, and bowler hats, is a variety of people, of various genders, nationalities, species. They were all kneeling, with their heads down, facing a man wearing a kilt, metal boots, and gauntlets. The man had long wavy hair that reached down to his back, a thick beard, and a handlebar mustache. He was extremely muscular, and had massive shoulders. And all the hair on his body was purple.*

*He looked up, smiling, and blew a kiss at the just awakened man from the audience, who immediately fainted again.*

"I'm Ark. And I'm back again."

*The group of people stood, pulling out various instruments, with a large amount of them consisting of bagpipes, kazoos, and lyres.*

*The music began, and they all started dancing.*

[Skip to the end of the musical, because I'm not going to write it.]

*Ark grins as the curtain slides shut, and blows one last kiss, at the man who had now awoken, and fainted, 57 times over the course of the musical.*

*The man with spikes through his eyes ran back up to the stage.*

"Thank you all for coming! I hope you enjoyed the performance. And remember, Ookla Season is only 

2

WEEKS

02

DAYS

04

HOURS

40

MINUTES

1

SECOND

away!"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHADOW! I wish for you all the happiness that Heather will never have! 

Next year I’m going to be something really scary

WAFFLLES!!!!!!   

Should I be scared? 

@Silva @Nathrangking and everybody else, sorry and gmar khatima tova

Ah ha! I nearly missed you, Silva! You thought you'd get off easy! Well, no such luck!

I'm happy you're in the Alleyverse. Thank you for everything, for being a voice of reason and calm, for being, simply, awesome. I've enjoyed all of our RP (which I hope to get more of that isn't Hellbent/Crow-Acute, because that's not the nicest RP ), and every time you speak, I tend to get a little happier. So, again, thank you.
For being you.

Ookla the ingenious, @Ooktapus The Fierce, @Silva and other jewish sharders a shana tova to you. May this coming year be better than that which has come and gone!

Drawing with touchpads is starting to become less horrible.

Sylphrena here might not look great and could probably use some cleaning up around the edges, but she resembles something beyond blobs. That's successful art by my definition. 

So there’s something I really need to get off my chest. I originally didn’t bother correcting people on this because I honestly didn’t expect to fit in so well here and become so invested in this community. But eventually I didn’t correct people soon enough and things spiraled out of control and it would have been too awkward at that point to correct them. That wasn’t ok of me, and I am very sorry. What I’d like to say is that I’m female, always have been, always plan on being. Again, I’m extremely sorry I went so long without correcting this and will make sure to do so in the future. 

So there’s something I really need to get off my chest. I originally didn’t bother correcting people on this because I honestly didn’t expect to fit in so well here and become so invested in this community. But eventually I didn’t correct people soon enough and things spiraled out of control and it would have been too awkward at that point to correct them. That wasn’t ok of me, and I am very sorry. What I’d like to say is that I’m female, always have been, always plan on being. Again, I’m extremely sorry I went so long without correcting this and will make sure to do so in the future. 

Eh heh heh.... I’m a soul caster now...

*runs around turning everything into explosive gases that break physics*

Ark is an Idiot

A screenplay by Ark1002

Ark: "Hey, guys, what should I do today?"

Everyone on ALQ: "GET ON THE ALLEYVERSE!"

Ark: "Ok, sure, why not."

We zoom in on our hero, typing 17th shard into the search bar. His face is concentrated with a laser focus. Nothing him will stop him from posting on the Alleyverse. He scrolls down to the section labeled community, holding his hand posed over the Alleyverse button. And then he goes to Forum Games and Random Stuff.

Ark: "I'll get to it later."

Everyone on ALQ: *sighs*

We zoom in on the moronic main character, who has just clicked on the thread labeled Hurt and Heal- Cosmere Nations. He begins typing Hurt Elendel, heal no one. Then stops, and moves his mouse to the top. He puts a quote box. In it, he types.

Ark: "Sorry in advance about the long post"

As he finishes his quote box, what seems like a thousand voices in unison rise up, all saying one thing

Everyone on ALQ: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARK

We go back to the idiot, who has proceeded to type two paragraphs. The curtain closes.

Scene two

We return to the stupid thick skulled nitwit typing feverishly. He has written eight paragraphs... on a post that could be done with "Hurt Elendel, Heal no one". Finally, he clicks submit, sitting back.

Ark: "Ah, that was fun. But wasn't there something I was supposed to do?"

Everyone on ALQ: "Yes! Respond to the main plot!"

Ark sits back in his chair, musing.

Ark: "Yes, yes, I really do think there was something else to respond to."

Everyone on ALQ: "ALLEYVERSE!!"

Ark: "Oh, that's it! I'll respond to all the ALQ posts!"

Everyone on ALQ: "YESSSSSS!!"

We zoom in on our hero, sitting at his desk, clicking on the Alleyverse subforum, on All Lights Quenched. He goes to the last page, looks at it. Then begins typing in a quote box.

Ark: "Could someone tell me what's going on?"

We watch as the moron proceeds to type three sentences that don't respond to anyone, and leaves the thread to post on art.

Ark: "Nailed it!"

Everyone on ALQ: *Frothing at the mouth and howling in rage*

We zoom away from the idiot main character as he posts a mildly rude comment on art someone worked hard on. The curtains close.

The End

Well another year another birthday. This year was full of ups and downs. Here is to community that made things easier to bear and to another year that should beat out the previous one!!

I'M

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