The Battle for the Sandwich

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

I must make a hard choice, read or steal  sandwich. I chose read.

[The Stick]

I approve wholeheartedly.

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

I finish my reading, and I scream out the ending of the series. The Stick is paralyzed because no one should ever do that. I steal the sandwich.

[The Stick]

How dare thee commit such sacrilege. As I lie paralyzed, I plot terrible revenge.

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

I read your mind to understand your plot and prepare.

[The Stick]

Sadly for you, I was wearing an aluminum hat. I then tug a big lever and the floor beneath you disappears, dropping you into lava.

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

I pull out my glider and airbend out of the pit.

[Immortal Platypus]

5 hours ago, The Stick said:

Of course, I am sorry.

I then realize that you are a Sharder and therefore want Stormlight Archive 5 to come out. I threaten to send a virus to destroy the document Brandon is writing in to compel you to give the Sandwich. However, you later realize that I am also a Sharder and would never have destroyed Stormlight 5.

You're good.

I wonder why you all thought I would hand over the real sandwich from a threat like that. I would never enable someone to continue making such threats. You have all fought over a decoy sandwich and I have long since escaped.

[The Stick]

Sadly for Lightweaver, I am a Dakhor monk. I sacrifice Lightweaver to teleport right behind you. I draw my Raysium knife.

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

I’m not Dakhor, so the Stick’s ploy doesn’t work. I am Elantrian though, and I use Aon Tia to travel to Being’s location which I figured out with compounded zinc. I then draw many, many Aon Daas.

Edited May 21, 2023 by Lightweaver2

[Edema Rue she/her]

"LUNCHTIME!!" The Caterpillar roars, materializing on top of the sandwich.

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

I release a wave of power, obliterating the Caterpillar, and grab the sandwich.

What is the caterpillar?

[The Stick]

I think it refers to the one in Alice in Wonderland.

I was hiding behind you the whole time. I plunge two Raysium knives into your back.

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

But how did you get to me?

 

I cry out in pain, dropping the sandwich. Luckily, my pet chasmfiend comes from the ground, knocking you down. I grab the sandwich again.

[The Stick]

I plot my next moves as I play fetch with your chamfiend.

[Edema Rue she/her]

11 hours ago, Lightweaver2 said:

What is the caterpillar?

Hehehe…it’s a long story. It’s been around for a while, it had a brief and beautiful romance with The Sentient Mushroom (who it met at another of these lunches) until there was an…incident during their honeymoon involving a bucket of nails and the sandwich and several annoying people. Then they both died. For a while. A necromancer brought them both back to life, then let them die again, and now the caterpillar’s back. It’s undead, sad because it lost its love, and IT WANTS LUNCH 

The Caterpillar reappears inside the sandwich, furious. “NO STEALING THE SANDWICH DURING LUNCH!! LUNCH IS TIME TO EAT!!” It conveys. Then it politely asks Nerdy if they’re ready for lunch. 

@NerdyAarakocra

 

[The Stick]

I throw chamfiend squeaky toys at you all and.the chamfiend, who I have befriended, crushes you. I take the sandwich to Na________.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

Bookwyrm continued drifting at the edges of the universe, ignoring the Sandwich.

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

I use my chasmfiend whistle, and the chasmfiend (which is my pet) comes to me and drops the sandwich at my feet.

 

Stick, you may have befriended it, but I have  years and years of history with this thing.

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

I call up my friend Space-Age Rysn and your chasmfiend does battle with Chiri-Chiri. Chiri-Chiri wins, because of course. I take the sandwich.

Edited May 23, 2023 by Szeth_Pancakes

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

Dang it. I tend to my wounded chasmfiend.

[Just_a_Fan he/him]

i help lightweaver heal his chasmfiend.

then teleport the sandwich to @The Bookwyrm

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

YT’s post is not bolded and thus is rendered invalid. I keep the sandwich.

[Just_a_Fan he/him]

i help lightweaver heal his chasmfiend.

then teleport the sandwich to @The Bookwyrm out of pure spite.

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

I communicate with Bookwyrm and ask him to pretty please send me the sandwich.

Thanks Just a Fan, my chasmfiend means a lot to me.

Edited May 23, 2023 by Lightweaver2