The Battle for the Sandwich

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

4 minutes ago, Being of Cacophony said:

I point out that it is only impenetrable because you keep announcing your plans to me so I fix it before it gets ruined. Therefore, it doesn't violate the rules, you just ought to stop telling me the plans. I take the sandwich back.

We will have pointed out that you're getting your tenses wrong. We will have noted that future perfect refers to actions that occur in the past after another action (ergo, in the past), thereby having rendered your post completely nonsensical.

Edited May 1, 2023 by NerdyAarakocra

[The Stick]

I hemealurgically spike Brandon's writing speed and use it to write Stormlight book 10. I then throw it at you. You immediately begin reading it and wildly theorizing as I take the sandwich.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

1 hour ago, The Stick said:

I hemealurgically spike Brandon's writing speed and use it to write Stormlight book 10. I then throw it at you. You immediately begin reading it and wildly theorizing as I take the sandwich.

As this was not in bold, it never happened. This is a shame - I'd gladly take SA 10 over the sandwich.

Provided that I also had SA 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.

[Immortal Platypus]

2 hours ago, NerdyAarakocra said:

We will have pointed out that you're getting your tenses wrong. We will have noted that future perfect refers to actions that occur in the past after another action (ergo, in the past), thereby having rendered your post completely nonsensical.

The joke, however, is on you. I knew that it was nonsensical, and purposefully did that. I still have the sandwich though, as that part was clear. I escape from your weird tense.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

8 hours ago, Being of Cacophony said:

The joke, however, is on you. I knew that it was nonsensical, and purposefully did that. I still have the sandwich though, as that part was clear. I escape from your weird tense.

No, you don't. You violated the rules by creating an unconditional negating of anything I do, stopping you from gaining the sandwich. Ergo, I still have the sandwich.

We will also have pointed out that that part was in imperfect tense because it will have been really hard to phrase in future perfect.

[Immortal Platypus]

3 hours ago, NerdyAarakocra said:

No, you don't. You violated the rules by creating an unconditional negating of anything I do, stopping you from gaining the sandwich. Ergo, I still have the sandwich.

We will also have pointed out that that part was in imperfect tense because it will have been really hard to phrase in future perfect.

No, I only negated your attempts to negate my veto. What you didn't know is that my veto had is out of its allowed uses, effectively making it useless, therefore not breaking the rules. You'll notice I didn't veto anything recently. Thus, I retain the sandwich.

I don't care about the imperfections as this was something that I didn't care about.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

9 minutes ago, Being of Cacophony said:

No, I only negated your attempts to negate my veto. What you didn't know is that my veto had is out of its allowed uses, effectively making it useless, therefore not breaking the rules. You'll notice I didn't veto anything recently. Thus, I retain the sandwich.

I don't care about the imperfections as this was something that I didn't care about.

That post will have made no sense, as I called your veto out for breaking the rules which it did, and the only reason you had the sandwich is because of your veto.

Thus, we will have retained the sandwich and asked you to please stop trying to find excuses and just move on.

[Immortal Platypus]

8 minutes ago, NerdyAarakocra said:

That post will have made no sense, as I called your veto out for breaking the rules which it did, and the only reason you had the sandwich is because of your veto.

Thus, we will have retained the sandwich and asked you to please stop trying to find excuses and just move on.

but... they aren't excuses. 

The post made total sense, but I will let it slide for the price of the sandwich. You are forced to agree because of logic and I take the sandwich.

 

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I hand you the sandwich.

I then grab it back.

I then hand it to you again.

By the time you realize that the sandwich is a decoy, I'm halfway across the country.

[Immortal Platypus]

I'm confused, as I already had the real sandwich and you went halfway across the country for no reason, as you didn't have the sandwich.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I call you up and explain.

"No, the idea was that I handed you the sandwich because logic, as you detailed in your last post. Sorry for any confusion. Anyway, there's like, a really cool rock here. You want me to mail it to you?"

[Immortal Platypus]

17 minutes ago, NerdyAarakocra said:

I call you up and explain.

"No, the idea was that I handed you the sandwich because logic, as you detailed in your last post. Sorry for any confusion. Anyway, there's like, a really cool rock here. You want me to mail it to you?"

"Oh, I see. Absolutely! I'll even pay you a duplicate of the sandwich for it!" I exclaim from right behind you.

[aetherbound he/him]

Wasing of Notting of notting speaking of high imperial switching to wasing of me. Using of confusion using for getting of sandwiches and taking, ising making kelsier having of sandwich and preventing of stealing.

Edited May 1, 2023 by Aetherbound
Bolded before you could try

[The Stick]

I become the Lord Ruler and spear him in the chest. I then take the Sandwich and blast it to Yolen for safe keeping by Frost.

[Immortal Platypus]

Frost, was, however, me in disguise. I stop by the closet, untie the real Frost (leaving him unconscious, but unbound in a closet) and escape to 6th of the Moon.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

... Where my summer home happens to be. I intercept you and steal the Sandwich, locking you in a cellar somewhere. I make sure you have plenty of food and water because dying in a cellar on a weird moon would be really sad, then I escape in my space helicopter.

[Immortal Platypus]

4 minutes ago, Sequence said:

... Where my summer home happens to be. I intercept you and steal the Sandwich, locking you in a cellar somewhere. I make sure you have plenty of food and water because dying in a cellar on a weird moon would be really sad, then I escape in my space helicopter.

I break out of the cellar, taking extra food with me, because I tend to get locked up in all kinds of weird places, and chase after you

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

Just now, Being of Cacophony said:

I break out of the cellar, taking extra food with me, because I tend to get locked up in all kinds of weird places, and chase after you

You are distracted by an adorable dog tied down outside the cellar door. It is very effective!

[Immortal Platypus]

2 minutes ago, Sequence said:

You are distracted by an adorable dog tied down outside the cellar door. It is very effective!

I take the dog with me, following you from a distance.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

But the dog wants to stay! It wants to stay on the moon, but it also wants company because its been lonely for so long. What are you going to do?

[Immortal Platypus]

6 minutes ago, Sequence said:

But the dog wants to stay! It wants to stay on the moon, but it also wants company because its been lonely for so long. What are you going to do?

I am sad because I already took it. Luckily, you didn't notice me behind you. I take the sandwich from you and go back to the cellar on 6th of the Moon with the dog. We have fun there and are happy together.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

I am angry that my plan has failed, so I press a button on a remote. The dog, who turns out to be a robot, takes the Sandwich and teleports a few million lightyears away to my space station colony.

[Immortal Platypus]

8 minutes ago, Sequence said:

I am angry that my plan has failed, so I press a button on a remote. The dog, who turns out to be a robot, takes the Sandwich and teleports a few million lightyears away to my space station colony.

I am filled with rage at my dog disappearing. Fortunately, I didn't trust the dog as it was found in your base. It stole a decoy, so I run and my location is undisclosed. Then I prepare for you to come for the sandwich and prepare my weapons system. 

[aetherbound he/him]

I had implanted a tracking device into the sandwich earlier, I now use it to find the undisclosed location. While you are setting up your weapon systems, I steal the sandwich and escape to mars. then I leave a clone of myself with a fake sandwich and go to my secure sandwich vault on detritus.

Edited May 5, 2023 by Aetherbound
bolding

[Immortal Platypus]

Just now, Aetherbound said:

I had implanted a tracking device into the sandwich earlier, I now use it to find the undisclosed location. While you are setting up your weapon systems, I steal the sandwich and escape to mars. then I leave a clone of myself with a fake sandwich and go to my secure sandwich vault on detritus.

This wasn't bolded, and therefore wasn't canon! I check my sandwich for trackers, just in case. There aren't any. I also finish setting up the weapons.