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Posted
1 minute ago, I Am A Fish said:

*shrinks*

There were a few parts I really liked, but I overall I don't think it was that good... 

Also, fan art is not my doing.

Well I really liked it.

I know you did not make the fan art but I still like that you put it in.

Posted
4 hours ago, I Am A Fish said:

A master of cooking, and archery, has come to roast the lamest shard. @hoiditthroughthegrapevine (you were great BTW)

  Reveal hidden contents
*@Lunamor walks onto stage picks up a microphone, and begins to speak*
 
*In Unkalaki accent* *Probably sound russian*

Hey, listen up, I don't mean to cause @Frustration
But I won't take this chull dung for the rest of this roasts deration, 
Listen to that roast, got no rhythm, got no rhyme,
I'm older than you, I was in Dragonsteel prime,

I am a complete, and total legend with a shard bow,
I end enemies, with my deadly arrows,
What do you say? Rock is stupid and lazy?
Sorry Edgli, you're the one who's Alii'uil''ikii crazy,

Did anyone else ignore that obnoxious, boring rant?
From a supposed "god" who's named after a plant,
Because to be honest, I think that the plant does more good,
At least it's worth something, am I being understood?
 
I am the cook who puts the spices on right,
And if you don't remember I saved Kaladin's life,
But while I lay it on just right,* you're laying it on thick,
You talk like Shallan, trying to soulcast a stick,
 
I refuse to be insulted by Edgli, the massive ignoramus,
Because of all the shards Endowment's by far the lamest,
She got no double shards, Seons or Skaze,
She lacks cool avatars, or them with radiant ways,
 
She says she's "merciful", "kindly", and "great",
She says "I save many from their untimely fates," 
Well pardon me, if I disagree on how that is a blessing,
Most die one week later, Man, your mercy is depressing,
 
I'm just a normal guy, an Unkalaki,
But because of my morals, well I can now fly,
Yet you are a shard "divine,"
You should be really doing better,
If most people had your competence? They would be beggars, 
 
All right, I gotta go, I've a novella to attend to,
I'll be there when Odium, well when he decides to end you,
Until then I'll be working hard, warding off the  fused,
Don't forget to stay yourself, a shard who's old news
 
P.S. The entire fanbase likes me more than you, so suck on a cremling, you loser. 
 
*Rock drops the mic, and walks off the stage*
 
 
 
  Hide contents

*This is too perfect for me to pass up: Credit for this amazing piece goes to @revelryintheart

When you put the chull dung on just right...

large_rock.jpg.420665022096fbd2dd176fe99f468903.jpg

 

 

Never have I been so pleased to be used in conversation.

Posted
5 minutes ago, Frustration said:

Never have I been so pleased to be used in conversation.

Happy to please!

Vote fish for the better roast...

Posted
26 minutes ago, I Am A Fish said:

Happy to please!

Vote fish for the better roast...

That reminds me that the first time I really knew you and noticed you on the shard was when everyone had Vote Fish in their sigs.

Posted
Just now, Ghanderflaffle said:

That reminds me that the first time I really knew you and noticed you on the shard was when everyone had Vote Fish in their sigs.

I mean who doesn't want to vote fish?

Spoiler

Apparently more people then those who do...

 

Posted
1 minute ago, Ghanderflaffle said:

Into the second level of the bracket! This one will be @Matrim's Dice as Fleet against @Personification as Gallant. Roasts are due the 13th, good luck!

You know, I set up my page, I picked out a song, I got it all ready after I moved on a few weeks ago. I did everything but actually write it :lol: I will now, though...

Posted

Everyone's roasts are awesome as always!

It just hit me that we can go back to polling in-thread if you guys want, since I'm willing to make the edits. I'm not sure if you'd all like that or if Ghanderflaffle would prefer to keep making them herself?

Posted
1 hour ago, AonEne said:

Everyone's roasts are awesome as always!

It just hit me that we can go back to polling in-thread if you guys want, since I'm willing to make the edits. I'm not sure if you'd all like that or if Ghanderflaffle would prefer to keep making them herself?

I don’t mind making them. Strawpoll is working pretty well. If the others think it would make things easier though go ahead and say something.

Posted (edited)

Kinda sad I won by default, but I guess I can join the club right? Anyway, nice roasts @I Am A Fish and @hoiditthroughthegrapevine! I can’t wait for this next round! 

Shoot Fish, I’ve roasted Rock before. I may or may not have lost. 

Edited by Hentient
Posted
1 hour ago, Hentient said:

Shoot Fish, I’ve roasted Rock before. I may or may not have lost. 

Lunamor is quite nearly perfect. :D

Posted
24 minutes ago, Ghanderflaffle said:

Roasts are due today @Matrim's Dice @Personification.

Errrp

*scrambles* Ok, I knew that, won't need more time (cough)

should be fine to post it tonight, I just need to, uh, write it ;) 

I got ideas though so don't worry

Posted
44 minutes ago, Matrim's Dice said:

Errrp

*scrambles* Ok, I knew that, won't need more time (cough)

should be fine to post it tonight, I just need to, uh, write it ;) 

I got ideas though so don't worry

Same (but in horse)

Posted

Fleet, prepare to be crushed under my supernaturally resilient and crystalline hooves:

Spoiler

Why, hello Fleet

You’re the man to beat.

So let’s get to me stomping you like the road under your feet

 

You have one talent: you’re fast,

But in this race you’ll come last.

This ryshadium, you can’t flee ‘im, cause in speed you’re outclassed.

 

You’re from a Wit allegory,

I’m sure that gets you some glory,

As the only one that doesn’t get a standalone story.

 

And yes you’re in one good scene,

But from Alethkar to Steen

Nobody knows you but they know me, I’m a PR Machine.

 

Finally, I have a summary of your accomplishments from your creator:

“He died. He didn’t make it. The end.”

-Kaladin Stormblessed, Ishahach, 1173

 

*Drops mic, then catches it so as not to infuriate the artifabrians and gallops away.*

 

Posted (edited)

Okay, so I wrote this all just now, so it's not that good... but without further ado, I present: (@Ghanderflaffle, @Personification)

Slower Than Me 

A Gallant dissing song parody of All the Right Moves 

Originally by OneRepublic

Here's a nice link to a YT video, with lyrics provided. As always, I recommend listening to it once first to get the rhythm in your head.

Spoiler

(Slower than me and overly loyal 
Gallant, the ‘coveted’ 
He would, doom the whole war to save his dead highprince 
Gallant, the ‘coveted’) 

Paint a picture of the perfect horse 
It does just anything their owner tells em, 
Mighty Ryshadium, game changer of the war 
Turns the fight around when it is in danger 

I know it sounds real good 
But Gallant's not that great 
Disgrace to the Ryshadium name 
It’s easy to assume he’s fine 
But he walks a thin line 
Sureblood should have been the one to survive 

He is, slower than me and overly loyal 
Gallant, the ‘coveted’ 
He would, doom the whole war to save his dead highprince 
Gallant, the ‘coveted’ 

Everybody run, everybody run, you're probably faster 
Then, Gallant the horse 
So yeah, everybody run, everybody run, you're probably faster 
Then, Gallant the horse 

Remember when I, ran across the land 
Sprinting faster than the stormwall itself 
You claim you’ll outrun me, really don’t you see 
That I would dominate in any race we ran 

When Sureblood fell in war, Adolin did, 
You didn’t really help him out 
I get your bond is important, but it is not all 
You could be kind to him, But you’re, But you’re 

Slower than me and overly loyal 
Gallant, the ‘coveted’ 
He would doom the whole war to save his dead highprince 
Gallant, the ‘coveted’ 

Everybody run, everybody run, you're probably faster 
Then, Gallant the horse 
So yeah, everybody run, everybody run, you're probably faster 
Then, Gallant the horse (the horse, the horse, the horse, the horse) 

 

It don't matter what you be 
I know I can destroy thee 
In a race or roast alike 
But when a horse runs my way 
I’m insulted every day 
At the lack of challenges 

(Slower than me and overly loyal 
Gallant, the ‘coveted’ 
He would, doom the whole war to save his dead highprince 
Gallant, the ‘coveted’) 

Slower than me and overly loyal 
Gallant, the ‘coveted’ 
He would doom the whole war to save his dead highprince 
Gallant, the ‘coveted’ 

Everybody run, everybody run, you're probably faster 
Then, Gallant the horse 
So yeah, everybody run, everybody run, you're probably faster 
Then, Gallant the horse  

Gallant, the coveted 
Crystal hooves aren’t neat 
(Slower than me, yeah) 
Gallant, the ‘coveted’ 
(Slower than me, yeah) 
Gallant, the ‘coveted’ 

So yay! I guess.

Edited by Matrim's Dice
Quote instead of spoiler box... and I forgot the song link... hehe
Posted (edited)
10 minutes ago, I Am A Fish said:

Not very many people are answering the poll...

I propose mandatory polling be introduced.

 

Seconded.

Also Great roast @Matrim's Dice!! And the WoB, nice touch! 

Edited by Hentient
Posted
12 hours ago, I Am A Fish said:

Not very many people are answering the poll...

I propose mandatory polling be introduced.

 

They normally fall off as people get eliminated.

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