The Official Thread of Relationships

[Delightful]

32 minutes ago, bleeder said:

Single again.

Sorry man

*hugs*

[Erunion he/him]

1 hour ago, bleeder said:

Single again.

Sounds like you need a /hug

 

Feel for you dude. 

[Nashan’Elin he/him]

2 hours ago, bleeder said:

Single again.

*adds to the pile of hugs*

[Kaymyth she/her]

2 hours ago, bleeder said:

Single again.

Awww

[Delightful]

53 minutes ago, Nashan'Elin said:

*adds to the pile of hugs*

Essentially *everyone pile on bleeder and squish him till he feels loved*!

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

3 hours ago, bleeder said:

Single again.

Does this call for a squeaky pug video?

[Zathoth]

4 hours ago, bleeder said:

Single again.

 

1 hour ago, Deliiiiiightful said:

Essentially *everyone pile on bleeder and squish him till he feels loved*!

PUGPILE!

[marsoupial they/them]

I post a two sentence summation of my relationship status and get, like, 9 hugs and an offer of a pug video.

I love you guys 

[Delightful]

So there's this guy in my Hebrew class who also lives on the same building as me. He doesn't speak English. I'm pretty sure he's working up to asking me out. How do I turn someone down in Hebrew this is so awkward. 

Were at the bus stop together and I have headphones in and he keeps finding excuses to talk to me. We were talking about the building cats and he goes "yknow matchmaking services are pretty expense?"

me:. Uuuuh I don't know. 

Him : you might want to stand back. You don't want a bus to hit you. 

Hes well meaning but OMG GO AWAY

[Mestiv he/him]

41 minutes ago, Deliiiiiightful said:

We were talking about the building cats and he goes "yknow matchmaking services are pretty expense?"

That's the weirdest opening line I've ever read I have no Idea how to refuse a guy in Hebrew, but I guess, if you keep "ignoring" him he might not find the courage to ask and there won't be a problem. 

[Delightful]

7 hours ago, Mestiv said:

That's the weirdest opening line I've ever read I have no Idea how to refuse a guy in Hebrew, but I guess, if you keep "ignoring" him he might not find the courage to ask and there won't be a problem. 

I know people who both use and don't use matchmakers, and it's definitely one of the weirdest lines I've heard. 

[Left he/him]

So I've been friends with a girl in my math class for quite a while and I'm thinking I'm probably gonna ask her out sometime soonish. We'll probably go to the movies since there isn't much to do in rural Ohio in the winter. 

So here's my question. Generally, is putting your arm around them fine on a first date? Obviously it depends on the people and what feels appropriate at the moment, so I'm mostly just asking on a pretty general basis. 

[The Honor Spren she/her]

24 minutes ago, LeftVash said:

So I've been friends with a girl in my math class for quite a while and I'm thinking I'm probably gonna ask her out sometime soonish. We'll probably go to the movies since there isn't much to do in rural Ohio in the winter. 

So here's my question. Generally, is putting your arm around them fine on a first date? Obviously it depends on the people and what feels appropriate at the moment, so I'm mostly just asking on a pretty general basis. 

Ooh! I saw a video about that the other day!

Spoiler

 

 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

10 minutes ago, The Honor Spren said:

Ooh! I saw a video about that the other day!

  Hide contents

 

 

I love Messy Mondays!  

I'd advise against putting your arm around her on the first date, but I'm not a touchy-feely person at all, so that colors my perception just a bit.  

[Orlion Blight he/him]

2 hours ago, LeftVash said:

So I've been friends with a girl in my math class for quite a while and I'm thinking I'm probably gonna ask her out sometime soonish. We'll probably go to the movies since there isn't much to do in rural Ohio in the winter. 

So here's my question. Generally, is putting your arm around them fine on a first date? Obviously it depends on the people and what feels appropriate at the moment, so I'm mostly just asking on a pretty general basis. 

Try to feel out the situation and if you think it would be ok, don't assume: ask.

Being coy and sly is so overrated.

[Kaymyth she/her]

1 hour ago, Orlion Determined said:

Try to feel out the situation and if you think it would be ok, don't assume: ask.

Being coy and sly is so overrated.

This!

Enthusiastic consent is a wonderful thing for all levels of physical contact.

[Erunion he/him]

Just to repeat @Orlion Determined - Life tip: Don't Assume, Ask!
 

[Oversleep]

54 minutes ago, Erunion said:

Don't Assume, Ask!

Easy acronym to remember - DAA.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

So I'm beginning to suspect that Formerly Pushy Coworker has Aspergers. The only reason I bring this up is because he sometimes--not every day, but often enough--questions my decisions at the desk, within earshot of other coworkers. 

I want to think he's just genuinely curious, but he doesn't do this to more established coworkers, and he was hired about a month after I was. And when he questions my decisions, it's always done in a way that makes it sound like I did something wrong (e.g., "Do you think that thing you just did broke policy?" Spoiler: I am very careful to stay within policy. This job pays my bills and I do not want to be homeless.) I want him to stop, but I don't want to be mean. How should I handle this?

[Orlion Blight he/him]

9 minutes ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

So I'm beginning to suspect that Formerly Pushy Coworker has Aspergers. The only reason I bring this up is because he sometimes--not every day, but often enough--questions my decisions at the desk, within earshot of other coworkers. 

I want to think he's just genuinely curious, but he doesn't do this to more established coworkers, and he was hired about a month after I was. And when he questions my decisions, it's always done in a way that makes it sound like I did something wrong (e.g., "Do you think that thing you just did broke policy?" Spoiler: I am very careful to stay within policy. This job pays my bills and I do not want to be homeless.) I want him to stop, but I don't want to be mean. How should I handle this?

I'll have to think about this, but keep this in mind: some people are just a-holes. I suspect this is the case here, since he treats you differently. I suspect he's decided he is competing with you.

Advice for now: remain professional and firm. If he questions a decision respond simply and firmly (yes or no). If he wants a why, make sure the other co-workers hear how smart you are and how much of a tedious pain he is.

He wants an audience? Fine. You just have to play the part of the competent professional. Which you all ready are, you just have to make sure there are witnesses

[Quiver he/him]

2 hours ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

So I'm beginning to suspect that Formerly Pushy Coworker has Aspergers. The only reason I bring this up is because he sometimes--not every day, but often enough--questions my decisions at the desk, within earshot of other coworkers. 

I want to think he's just genuinely curious, but he doesn't do this to more established coworkers, and he was hired about a month after I was. And when he questions my decisions, it's always done in a way that makes it sound like I did something wrong (e.g., "Do you think that thing you just did broke policy?" Spoiler: I am very careful to stay within policy. This job pays my bills and I do not want to be homeless.) I want him to stop, but I don't want to be mean. How should I handle this?

The way he's questioning your decisions certainly sounds a bit...odd. Maybe I'm projecting, but if I were to ask something like that, I'd probably frame the question a bit differently to show that it is curiosity, not passive-aggression or anything.

Then again, it might be that he is bad at social stuff. I know I've said and done things and not realised until hours after the fact that it might be misconstrued. 

If he asks about a decision, replying and showing how it doesn't break policy might be best. If he's curious or having trouble learning the policy and What Not To Do, then it's a quick lesson for him. If he's doing it to aggregate you, then hearing technical policy drilled into his head everything he tries to throw you under the bus might make him think twice.

(As a caveat.... I am a very literal thinker on this. As in, I've been told by my supervisors that I follow the letter of the law in there too tightly. So... my advice of "Double down on policy" might not be the best...sorry)

[Left he/him]

Hey thanks for the input folks, it should be helpful

[Shqueeves]

How to people get to know people outside of their friend group? I honestly have no idea how it's done. 

My friend group comprises almost entirely of the people on my robotics team. This causes a problem because I want to take girls out on dates, and the only girl on the team is dating my brother. 

PLEASE ADVISE

[Assassin in Burgundy he/him]

1 hour ago, Shqueeves said:

How to people get to know people outside of their friend group? I honestly have no idea how it's done. 

My friend group comprises almost entirely of the people on my robotics team. This causes a problem because I want to take girls out on dates, and the only girl on the team is dating my brother. 

PLEASE ADVISE

If this were a fantasy novel, I'd say wait for your brother to be killed by an assassin with magical powers while you're away, then later find out that she wanted you, causing a massive amount of gossip at the warcamps I mean school, which is only overshadowed by the fact that your friend left you for dead somewhere. 

On second thought, maybe that isn't the best idea. Are there other social groups at school? If your friend group is the robotics team, then join something else. That'll just naturally build friendships. 

[Erunion he/him]

@Shqueeves - find other hobbies/activities is a good start.

When getting to know someone, a 'hi! I'm so and so, what's your name?' Followed by a brief chat on what they do/etc. Add in a 'what are your hobbies/what do you do for fun' and see if there's any overlap with yours. If yes, expand on that and try to make a connection.