The Official Thread of Relationships

[Curious Anamaximder he/him]

So, in honor of Lark going on her first date, I have started the thread about dating, love, and all things relationships.

And Eowyn gifs. And memes. And jokes. And toddler photos. And memes. I mean, what do you expect, it is the 17th Shard!

I like someone at my school, but I do not know what do say. Please help?

[Mestiv he/him]

I like someone at my school, but I do not know what do say. Please help?

 

Hello, would you like to destroy some evil today?

[skaa he/him]

Hello, would you like to destroy some evil today?

 

And then you take her out to dinner at the nearest McDonald's. Why? Because Big Macs are evil, and it is terrible destruction to eat.

 

(That was, of course, a joke. Do not take relationship or dietary advice from lonely unfit dweebs who've never been in a relationship.)

Edited January 15, 2016 by skaa

[Stormgate he/him]

And then you take her out to dinner at the nearest McDonald's. Why? Because Big Macs are evil, and it is terrible destruction to eat.

 

(That was, of course, a joke. Do not take relationship or dietary advice from lonely unfit dweebs who've never been in a relationship.)

McDonalds is run by aliens trying to fatten us up Hansel and Gretel style.

[tobar14 he/him]

I would say that it all depends on the person that you like.  

Does this person like you back?  

Are you friends already?  

Is it someone who doesn't know you exist?

Are you friends with their friends? (so you can tease out some tips)
How much do you know about this person?

That is one way to think about it. Another, much easier way to think about it is: It doesn't matter what you say.  There isn't some magical sentence that will get them to like you.  All you can do is put yourself out there, the worst thing that could happen is they say no.

 

I dated 3 girls in highschool, 1 of which lasted 7 years, and i thought each of them was "the one". Now I am engaged to a wonderful women who I met in the town where I work.  

 

So basically, just go talk to the person, the rest of your life does not depend on this.  Just make sure to be yourself because it is not fun trying to make yourself into someone that they like, you will be unhappy, and if they don't like you for who you are, then they can eat chull dung.

[Curious Anamaximder he/him]

She is my friend, but I am not sure she likes me.

[tobar14 he/him]

hmmmm, that is both good and bad.  Good because the best relationships are based off of a solid friendship.  I always found it to be quite silly to start "dating" someone, or asking someone to be your significant other if you barely know each other.

 

Bad because if you make a move and you are denied, it could tarnish the friendship.

 

V-day is coming up, you could be her secret admirer. Then if/when she tells you that she has a secret admirer you could subtly gauge her reaction of it.  There are many ways to go about this, and you must find your own path, but this way is good because you both can kind of talk about it without having to literally talk about it.

 

Or you could play the nice guy card like I do, and just be there for her whenever she needs, talk to her on the phone at night, try to hang out with just her, until she realized what she has in front of her.  It takes a long time, and the process can be hurtful to you, but that's what I always did. 

[Left he/him]

Or you could play the nice guy card like I do, and just be there for her whenever she needs, talk to her on the phone at night, try to hang out with just her, until she realized what she has in front of her.  It takes a long time, and the process can be hurtful to you, but that's what I always did. 

My brother!   Yep, this is the path I've taken. Right now, the girl that I really like is already in a relationship, but I'm closer and am officially her male girlfriend It's a little odd.

That being said, it also means that I can be interested in other girls.

[Zathoth]

I dont understand this entire romance thing, so you should probably not listen to me, but friendship is underrated.

[Smokestone]

Playing the nice guy is fine as an opener, but at some point you have to take the risk and ask her out. It hurts to get shut down, but there are a number of clear advantages to having the conversation in the open. Like, if she can tell you've been meaning to ask her out for a long time (if you've spent a lot of time around her, she probably suspects already) she probably will appreciate you saying so. Either 1) she wants to go out with you or 2) she doesn't, but either way it clears the air. If you never ask, you'll never know.

 

Have you read The Name of the Wind (there are a bunch of Patrick Rothfuss fans here, I know, so I'm guessing you might have)? Kvothe is super awesome in so many ways, but he totally has the Nice Guy problem with Denna - he's just afraid to commit. All his friends can see how obvious it is that he's infatuated with her and that she digs him too, but he has difficulty confronting reality and just going for it, and his life would change enormously if he did.

 

So yeah. Bravery, I say! Ask her on a date.

[Orlion Blight he/him]

Yeah, the problem with the Nice Guy^TM approach is that 1) You aren't being clear in your intentions. That comes off as confusing and at times creepy, 2) Taken to an extreme, you can end up as a creepy guy who feels entitled to a relationship because "you're better".

 

Things will always start of awkward. That's normal, so just dive in!

 

And if it doesn't work out, well, here's a video about it.

 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

I found this collection on Facebook yesterday and had to share.  

[Mestiv he/him]

I found this collection on Facebook yesterday and had to share.

They have a cat! That is very important! ^^

[Allomancy she/her]

I have a crush on this guy at my school. We are friends, but I don't know if we are anything more than friends.

Oh, I also found out that a friend of mine asked him who he likes, and he made a list. Eight other girls. I don't know who they are, but I don't think any are me.

Please help

[Mestiv he/him]

Ask your friend (not your crush) if you're on the list. From my experience it is quite common situation: boy likes girl, girl likes boy, but they don't do anything about it.

[Orlion Blight he/him]

They have a cat! That is very important! ^^

It is! I can't think of a single successful relationship that did not involve a cat

[Kaymyth she/her]

It is! I can't think of a single successful relationship that did not involve a cat

 

My husband is allergic to cats.

[Orlion Blight he/him]

My husband is allergic to cats.

So is a friend of mine, and he has three

[+Slowswift]

Never been in a relationship. Like ever. And my crush is in college. Oops.

 

Well, at least there are some cute girls in my classes.

Edited January 15, 2016 by Slowswift

[Kaymyth she/her]

So is a friend of mine, and he has three

 

James falls into the "miserably allergic" category.  I feel that it's not unreasonable for him to prefer not feeling sick all of the time.  Besides, I'm pretty sure that our dog thinks she's a cat.

 

 

 

...I might be feeling a wee bit of an urge to photobomb y'all with nerdy wedding photos. 

[Mistrunner]

...I might be feeling a wee bit of an urge to photobomb y'all with nerdy wedding photos.

...do you see anyone complaining?

[The Honor Spren she/her]

I have two halfway crushes that I just got this school year. I'm fairly certain neither of them know, which is good. And I'm mentally friend-zoning them. It's much better like that. I don't have anytime right now (plus, I'm not 16 yet so it's not like I should date anyway.)

[Briar King]

Confidence. Embrace it.

As a father I say yeah at 16 focus on school and get ready for college.

As a former 16 yr old male I say....ah nvm better not say it.

Focus on school.

[Mistrunner]

I'll tell you my secret.

If you don't know anyone, it's pretty hard to have complex, angsty love problems.

I'm so good at this.

[DreamEternal]

If you don't know anyone, it's pretty hard to have complex, angsty love problems.

I'm so good at this.

No, you are wrong. I know absolutely no one and still have angsty love problems, in part because I know no one.

It is ironic that I am too much of an introvert to actualy work towards forming friendships, yet even if I don't need them emotionaly speaking I do feel the need for romance.