The Official Thread of Relationships

[Kaymyth she/her]

A slice of life of the relationship of nerds:

 

Last night, I was reading in the living room.  The rest of the first floor was dark, so I assumed that James had gone upstairs at some point.  Until I spotted movement in the kitchen and realized he was downstairs with me.

 

Me:  "Have you been in the dark all this time?"

James:  "Yep!"

Me:  "Watchya been doing?"

James:  "Thinking."

Me:  "About anything good?"

James:  "Quantum mechanics."

 

Yes.  My husband sat on the squishy chair in the library for two hours pondering quantum mechanics.  He thinks the current models are all wrong. 

[Seonid he/him]

A slice of life of the relationship of nerds:

 

Last night, I was reading in the living room.  The rest of the first floor was dark, so I assumed that James had gone upstairs at some point.  Until I spotted movement in the kitchen and realized he was downstairs with me.

 

Me:  "Have you been in the dark all this time?"

James:  "Yep!"

Me:  "Watchya been doing?"

James:  "Thinking."

Me:  "About anything good?"

James:  "Quantum mechanics."

 

Yes.  My husband sat on the squishy chair in the library for two hours pondering quantum mechanics.  He thinks the current models are all wrong. 

 

What does he think is wrong with them? I took quantum mechanics last year (both semesters) and I'm in quantum field theory this semester, so I'm rather interested in the field.

[Kaymyth she/her]

What does he think is wrong with them? I took quantum mechanics last year (both semesters) and I'm in quantum field theory this semester, so I'm rather interested in the field.

 

Part of the problem is that he can't really figure out how to explain it to me.  He's been trying to teach himself some sort of modeling software for a couple months now so that he can create models to illustrate what he means, but he's still wrestling with the learning curve.

[Seonid he/him]

Part of the problem is that he can't really figure out how to explain it to me.  He's been trying to teach himself some sort of modeling software for a couple months now so that he can create models to illustrate what he means, but he's still wrestling with the learning curve.

 

Ah....that makes sense.

 

My general attitude towards the issue is as follows:

 

Niels Bohr (one of the formulators of QM) once said that if anyone said that they understood quantum mechanics, that they were either deluded or lying. Richard Feynman remarked that, while there were thousands or tens of thousands of people in the world that could understand Einstein's general theory of relativity, not a single person on the planet - in his estimation - understood QM. (So I went and studied relativity instead )

 

The big problem is that the math works better than any other theory in physics ever has.

[Kaymyth she/her]

Ah....that makes sense.

 

My general attitude towards the issue is as follows:

 

Niels Bohr (one of the formulators of QM) once said that if anyone said that they understood quantum mechanics, that they were either deluded or lying. Richard Feynman remarked that, while there were thousands or tens of thousands of people in the world that could understand Einstein's general theory of relativity, not a single person on the planet - in his estimation - understood QM. (So I went and studied relativity instead )

 

The big problem is that the math works better than any other theory in physics ever has.

 

Yeah, he's commented that he just needed to get the math behind it figured out. 

 

This is also the man who plays around with trying to solve the unsolveable prime calculation.  And if he succeeded, he would then have the power to break encryption as we know it, so he's not sure if he'd ever actually tell anyone he'd done it if he did.  He has such adorable nerdy ambitions.  It's enough for me to forgive him for not being a reader.

[ParadoxicalZen he/him]

I'm planning on asking one of my nerdy friends to go see Deadpool it with me when I see her in NZ, perhaps as a date date but we'll see....

[Curiosity he/him]

Yeah, he's commented that he just needed to get the math behind it figured out. 

 

This is also the man who plays around with trying to solve the unsolveable prime calculation.  And if he succeeded, he would then have the power to break encryption as we know it, so he's not sure if he'd ever actually tell anyone he'd done it if he did.  He has such adorable nerdy ambitions.  It's enough for me to forgive him for not being a reader.

 

... You mean the Riemann Hypothesis? That's ambitious.

[Left he/him]

So I'm ready to start planning a valentines date, or rather double date. I got three problems.

1. The girl I want to ask has a parental rule that she's not supposed to go out with the same person twice in a row(not that unusual for Mormon kids really) and I've already bent that rule, and I don't think anyone else has asked her out since the last time we had a date.

2. The other guy that would be part of it isn't great with planning dates, I've doubled with him before. If I can mastermind it all then I will and it'll be way less stress.

3. I figured the Peanuts movie would be a great movie for us to watch, it's clean, fun, and romantic. It doesn't come out on dvd till march. I'm struggling to come up with another movie thatd work so well.

[Kobold King he/him]

1. The girl I want to ask has a parental rule that she's not supposed to go out with the same person twice in a row(not that unusual for Mormon kids really) and I've already bent that rule, and I don't think anyone else has asked her out since the last time we had a date.

 

 

I'm... not really sure how anyone expects to foster a predisposition towards stable monogamous relationships with a rule like that.

[Left he/him]

I'm... not really sure how anyone expects to foster a predisposition towards stable monogamous relationships with a rule like that.

First, I agree that it's not the best rule. Dating for Mormon youth is designed to be very friendly and not as serious as normal dating. It can be really hard to tell the difference between our double dates and just several friends hanging out. The point being to encourage us away from situations where, to borrow a phrase from Pratchett, anything hanky panky might happen.

In practice, the general guidelines work really well. Sometimes parents themselves can make things a hassle, but that's different.

[Delightful]

That....still.....doesn't sound like a date. It sounds like hanging out with a friend.

[Left he/him]

That....still.....doesn't sound like a date. It sounds like hanging out with a friend.

*shrug* I know. I don't know how representative I am of even the lds kids in my general area, you can look back at a post I made two pages ago to see that. If some other people want to share their experiences that might help.

Some of my dates so far have been a mini golf corn maze and dinner, a baseball game, going to see Star Wars, and a board game night. I think that a lot of what goes into making the date different from just hanging out is our expectations, which I think are still similar to the norm, even if structure is different.

I'd be happy to send you guys pms with the general guidelines the church gives youth and continue the discussion there so we don't drive the topic too far off.

[Seonid he/him]

I'm... not really sure how anyone expects to foster a predisposition towards stable monogamous relationships with a rule like that.

Just a quick side note - the general counsel for Mormon youth actively discourages pairing off during the teenage years. Some Mormon parents go further and put rules like this one in place to even further discourage early pairing off.

Post-high school dating expectations are much different, and encourage pairing off to form stable monogamous relationships that lead towards marriages.

[Kaymyth she/her]

... You mean the Riemann Hypothesis? That's ambitious.

 

Well, it makes him happy to work on it.  He's got a potential equation, he just can't figure out how to solve it. 

 

I can't really complain.  He puts up with my writing and my cosplay and my con-going.  Working on unsolvable math problems is just proof that he's as nerdy as I am, in his own way.

[Lindel he/him]

So, I really like this girl, but I'm not sure if she feels the same way. She's seemed interested in the past, but I recently tried to flirt more obviously, and received mixed signals that tended toward disinterest. This left me discouraged, and I backed off.

We're pretty good friends, and I certainly don't want any awkwardness to ruin that. I'd like to determine if there's a possibility that she might actually like me, without making the situation more awkward than it already is. Any suggestions?

[Silverblade5 he/him]

So, I really like this girl, but I'm not sure if she feels the same way. She's seemed interested in the past, but I recently tried to flirt more obviously, and received mixed signals that tended toward disinterest. This left me discouraged, and I backed off.

We're pretty good friends, and I certainly don't want any awkwardness to ruin that. I'd like to determine if there's a possibility that she might actually like me, without making the situation more awkward than it already is. Any suggestions?

Try out Lopen's advice

[Mailliw73 he/him]

You know what sucks? When you realize you're starting to really like the girl one of your best friends is dating.

[Zathoth]

So I'm ready to start planning a valentines date, or rather double date. I got three problems.

1. The girl I want to ask has a parental rule that she's not supposed to go out with the same person twice in a row(not that unusual for Mormon kids really) and I've already bent that rule, and I don't think anyone else has asked her out since the last time we had a date.

2. The other guy that would be part of it isn't great with planning dates, I've doubled with him before. If I can mastermind it all then I will and it'll be way less stress.

3. I figured the Peanuts movie would be a great movie for us to watch, it's clean, fun, and romantic. It doesn't come out on dvd till march. I'm struggling to come up with another movie thatd work so well.

You have solution to problem number 1 in the fact that it is a double date. Just switch around mid date.

2. Cant solve that for you.

3. Found it

[Lindel he/him]

Try out Lopen's advice

So, I should start glowing and sticking stuff to walls? Yeah, that should do it.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

So, I should start glowing and sticking stuff to walls? Yeah, that should do it.

Or buy your crush a new hat, then rub yourself with curry and prance through the streets singing Horneater lullabies.

[Kaymyth she/her]

Or, you know, you could just ask her out.  If she says no, just shrug and grin and say, "Eh, it was worth a shot."

[Kobold King he/him]

Or, you know, you could just ask her out.  If she says no, just shrug and grin and say, "Eh, it was worth a shot."

 

 

This is far too reasonable for the madness that is is love. I say we go with the Lopen Maneuver.

[Lindel he/him]

This is far too reasonable for the madness that is is love. I say we go with the Lopen Maneuver.

Exactly! I'm thinking Lopen's hat and curry plan is a much safer bet.

[Young Bard he/him]

Only posting here to express my amusement that the relationships thread is 'hot'.

[Quiver he/him]

Relationships. Urgh.

 

Okay, fine. Total confessions, fun disclosure, all that jazz?

 

I have not been in a relationship. Actually, I'll go further; I, in my mid-20's, have not even had my first kiss.

 

I... have absolutely no idea how to talk to someone who I'm interested in. At all. In fact, I have no idea how to even meet new people. Talking to complete strangers sounds... insane, and... well, I have confidence issues. I can't imagine anyone would genuinely be interested in me that way.

 

So.. uh... yeah. Any advice?