The Official Thread of Relationships

[King Cole he/him]

Im the guy that alm the female friends im interested in call me their “gay best friend who isn’t gay”

 

Im like 70% sure thats not good for me

[NamelessThirteenth]

10 hours ago, Quickbronze said:

Haha...

...heck no buddy

Well damnation bro, ok, chill

[The Thinking Herald he/him]

Well, not sure if this is more appropriately put into the “Good News” thread, but anyway, here goes.

Today, I confessed to my crush. She’s probably already known that I have a thing for her for any amount of time between less than two weeks to a year (I can elaborate on that if anyone wishes me to), and she’s the first of my crushes to respond by not directly rejecting me. Instead, she said “Thanks for telling me. I appreciate that.” That’s not great, but it’s progress from my past track record.

So, what I came to this thread was to inquire about the best next choice. What should I do? Apologise for my cringeworthy delivery of the confession (and boy was it cringeworthy)? Thank her for at least accepting the fact? I have no idea what to do.

[Mestiv he/him]

12 hours ago, The Thinking Herald said:

So, what I came to this thread was to inquire about the best next choice. What should I do? Apologise for my cringeworthy delivery of the confession (and boy was it cringeworthy)? Thank her for at least accepting the fact? I have no idea what to do.

IMO, thank her for hearing you out politely and not being mean or anything. It's all in her hands now. Maybe ask is she wants to go on a date? Her answer will tell you all you need to know.

[Delightful]

On 10 March 2018 at 7:38 PM, King Cole said:

Im the guy that alm the female friends im interested in call me their “gay best friend who isn’t gay”

 

Im like 70% sure thats not good for me

It means you have good female friendships. 

On 11 March 2018 at 8:32 AM, The Thinking Herald said:

Well, not sure if this is more appropriately put into the “Good News” thread, but anyway, here goes.

Today, I confessed to my crush. She’s probably already known that I have a thing for her for any amount of time between less than two weeks to a year (I can elaborate on that if anyone wishes me to), and she’s the first of my crushes to respond by not directly rejecting me. Instead, she said “Thanks for telling me. I appreciate that.” That’s not great, but it’s progress from my past track record.

So, what I came to this thread was to inquire about the best next choice. What should I do? Apologise for my cringeworthy delivery of the confession (and boy was it cringeworthy)? Thank her for at least accepting the fact? I have no idea what to do.

What Mestiv said. You told her how you feel, she heard you, she knows. I'd wait to see if she gives any indication that she feels the same way. You're probably fine asking her out, but if she says no then drop it. Good luck!

[The Thinking Herald he/him]

Thanks to Del-light-ful and Mestiv for the words of encouragement.

I didn’t really have an opportunity to go do any of what the two of you recommended. School has been busy, and I’m not even in the same class with that girl, so there was little chance for interaction. However, my friends in the same classes as her went on my behalf to talk to her. And, of course, it’s 3 for 3. Luckily, she’s apparently just not into dating as a whole at the moment , and it’s jot that she’s not into me.

The next course of action should be to forget this all ever happened and let go, shouldn’t it? I can’t help but feel as if there’s still some hope for something to happen later down the line - and that all I need to do is, really, wait. Please shock me back to reality if I’m wrong.

[Delightful]

2 hours ago, The Thinking Herald said:

Thanks to Del-light-ful and Mestiv for the words of encouragement.

I didn’t really have an opportunity to go do any of what the two of you recommended. School has been busy, and I’m not even in the same class with that girl, so there was little chance for interaction. However, my friends in the same classes as her went on my behalf to talk to her. And, of course, it’s 3 for 3. Luckily, she’s apparently just not into dating as a whole at the moment , and it’s jot that she’s not into me.

The next course of action should be to forget this all ever happened and let go, shouldn’t it? I can’t help but feel as if there’s still some hope for something to happen later down the line - and that all I need to do is, really, wait. Please shock me back to reality if I’m wrong.

You could wait, just don't expect anything. She doesn't owe you anything, full stop, period. Thats the most important thing.

Its probably healthier for you to move on though. 

[Hood he/him]

So I have to gift someone (the canonical someone), a book on their birthday. This is the established protocol in our group (and it is not too heavy a burden on my light/shallow pockets). Anyway, I am in a conundrum on this one:

She likes Paulo Coelho (she had already told me), whereas I am planning to gift her Born a Crime by Trevor Noah. I am not a big fan of him (have read only The Alchemist). She's just not into fantasy (it would be a dream come true for me if it had been the case). Anyway, the point is: she likes books that have a happier tone and are inspiring. So, the crux of the matter is: "Should I gift her the book written by the author of her choice, or should I gift her the book that I like?"

[Orlion Blight he/him]

The gift is for her, not you. 

[Ammanas]

8 hours ago, Hood said:

Should I gift her the book written by the author of her choice, or should I gift her the book that I like?"

How about both? Or another approach is that a gift is something that people should be grateful for no matter what it is. It's really more of the thought and rememberance that counts. As I try to teach my four year old, "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit."

[Hood he/him]

4 hours ago, TheOrlionThatComesBefore said:

The gift is for her, not you. 

Indeed. But here's the problem, I don't know which book of his, she has already read. And i have read only the Alchemist (nothing else). I fear it will be like gifting Mistborn  to a Sanderson fan. But as Ammanas said, it is the thought that counts, I guess she'll appreciate that I've taken her choice into consideration.

[Sami she/her]

4 hours ago, Hood said:

I fear it will be like gifting Mistborn  to a Sanderson fan. 

Oh I dunno, I feel like the Sanderfan could be very appreciative of the extra copy.

[Silva]

2 minutes ago, Sami said:

Oh I dunno, I feel like the Sanderfan could be very appreciative of the extra copy.

So true.

@Hood, I’d recommend just getting her a book in that type of genre she likes that you’ve also read. That gets rid of the worry she owns it, but also makes sure you know what it’s about in case she asks. And if no book like that exists, then just go for one in that happy inspirational genre and read the Sparknotes. (But actually read it when you get a chance)

[Hood he/him]

22 hours ago, Silva said:

So true.

@Hood, I’d recommend just getting her a book in that type of genre she likes that you’ve also read. That gets rid of the worry she owns it, but also makes sure you know what it’s about in case she asks. And if no book like that exists, then just go for one in that happy inspirational genre and read the Sparknotes. (But actually read it when you get a chance)

Yep! That's what I've decided to do. Thanks everyone.

[StrikerEZ he/him]

So, at the end of the summer, I started getting pretty close to this girl that I’d known for awhile (since 7th grade, and I’m a senior now), but we were never very close before. About 3-ish weeks ago, I realized I like her. Then, over thanksgiving break last week, a friend of mine told me that my crush had told her that she didn’t like me back and that someone had told my crush I like her. There’s a lot more to that part of the story (I only told two people before I asked the friend of the crush if she liked me, and neither of them told my crush, but the gist is that my crush heard someone tell a joke about us liking each other and then she connected the dots on her own), but that’s unimportant. Anyway, I was in panic mode, and since I knew that she didn’t like me anyway, I just went and asked her if she knew I liked her, and she said yeah. Which kinda sucks, but it’s fine.

Except, we talked for a bit after that, and now because of that talk I definitely like her even more. So rip.

[Silverblade5 he/him]

All of my close relationships have always been with coworkers. This has led to all of them taking on a form of sibling relationship. I've been finding this increasingly annoying lately.