The Official Thread of Relationships

[StrikerEZ he/him]

1 hour ago, ParadoxicalZen said:

Let's just say after an Addams family values reference, the subject went to a place that would be unseemly for this forum..if you catch my drift. So I'm still left reeling by how quickly the conversation escalated  (not that I mindit, quite the contrary, I just wasn't expecting it.) 

I think, to sum it up nicely, from our previous exchange, she quoted Washington Irving with a Legend of Sleepy Hollow passage:

"All these, however, were mere terrors of the night, phantoms of the mind that walk in darkness; and though he had seen many spectres in his time, and been more than once beset by Satan in divers shapes, in his lonely perambulations, yet daylight put an end to all these evils; and he would have passed a pleasant life of it, in despite of the Devil and all his works, if his path had not been crossed by a being that causes more perplexity to mortal man than ghosts, goblins, and the whole race of witches put together, and that was—a woman."

I for one, have been done a heckin bamboozle fren, and I really want to know more

Ah, I gotchu. I thought that might've been the case, I just couldn't tell for sure. 

I have no idea what that quote means. 

[ParadoxicalZen he/him]

4 hours ago, StrikerEZ said:

Ah, I gotchu. I thought that might've been the case, I just couldn't tell for sure. 

I have no idea what that quote means. 

Haha, essentially; there is never a creature more perplexing and confusing to a man, than a woman

[Steeldancer he/him]

7 hours ago, ParadoxicalZen said:

Haha, essentially; there is never a creature more perplexing and confusing to a man, than a woman

Wise words. 

[Delightful]

13 hours ago, ParadoxicalZen said:

Haha, essentially; there is never a creature more perplexing and confusing to a man, than a woman

It helps if you listen to us  

[Left he/him]

23 minutes ago, Delightfully Smoak said:

It helps if you listen to us  

Aaaand if you've trained your ear to the unsaid, the subtext, the implied, and the different tones that change the meanings of Fine, great, fun, etc  

Definitely not saying that there aren't women that are far more straight forward, but they're rarer. Similarly with males. 

[Steeldancer he/him]

Just now, Left said:

Aaaand if you've trained your ear to the unsaid, the subtext, the implied, and the different tones that change the meanings of Fine, great, fun, etc  

Definitely not saying that there aren't women that are far more straight forward, but they're rarer. Similarly with males. 

I thankfully am dating a girl who prefers to be straight forward, but I know from first hand experience just how convoluted they can be

[Delightful]

1 hour ago, Left said:

Aaaand if you've trained your ear to the unsaid, the subtext, the implied, and the different tones that change the meanings of Fine, great, fun, etc  

Definitely not saying that there aren't women that are far more straight forward, but they're rarer. Similarly with males. 

Israeli straightforwardness has been rubbing off on me lately.

I honestly said to a friend the other day "Sorry but I'm too tired to read subtext what are you saying?"  

[marsoupial they/them]

On 6/4/2017 at 5:26 AM, Delightfully Smoak said:

Ok about pictures; I don't want anything open to the whole Interwebz to see. I'm going to start a message thread with a couple pics if I can work out how to do that; message me or comment if you want in. And obviously, I'm trusting you not to share these around. 

May I?

[Delightful]

12 minutes ago, bleeder said:

May I?

Of course!

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

*walks in

*blinks

*jaw drops

*hugs @Delightfully Smoak

*hugs @Pinnacle-Ferring

*walks out again

[Delightful]

1 hour ago, Darkness Ascendant said:

*walks in

*blinks

*jaw drops

*hugs @Delightfully Smoak

*hugs @Pinnacle-Ferring

*walks out again

*hugs*

[Mistrunner]

On 6/4/2017 at 6:41 AM, Delightful said:

Picture thread is up and running! Lemme know if you want in.

I'm a bit late, but may I?

[Delightful]

9 hours ago, Mistrunner said:

I'm a bit late, but may I?

Sure!

[Hood he/him]

On 07/06/2017 at 2:21 AM, Left said:

Aaaand if you've trained your ear to the unsaid, the subtext, the implied, and the different tones that change the meanings of Fine, great, fun, etc  

Definitely not saying that there aren't women that are far more straight forward, but they're rarer. Similarly with males. 

Even written medium is of no use when talking to a girl. There was a girl on whom I had a huge crush (I just don't like this word, there must be some better word for this). She had different ways of typing 'yes' based upon her mood. Same for saying 'bye'. There was a whole world of difference between saying 'Bye', saying 'Byee', saying 'Byeee', and saying 'bye' in her language. The last one was the most precious one, and often denoted a hint of affection. 

[Chaos he/him]

1 hour ago, Hood said:

Even written medium is of no use when talking to a girl. There was a girl on whom I had a huge crush (I just don't like this word, there must be some better word for this). She had different ways of typing 'yes' based upon her mood. Same for saying 'bye'. There was a whole world of difference between saying 'Bye', saying 'Byee', saying 'Byeee', and saying 'bye' in her language. The last one was the most precious one, and often denoted a hint of affection. 

Guys do similar things. When you know a person and have been texting them for a long time, you will see the connotation eventually. Hard to determine when you don't truly know them, though.

[Left he/him]

4 hours ago, Hood said:

Even written medium is of no use when talking to a girl. There was a girl on whom I had a huge crush (I just don't like this word, there must be some better word for this). She had different ways of typing 'yes' based upon her mood. Same for saying 'bye'. There was a whole world of difference between saying 'Bye', saying 'Byee', saying 'Byeee', and saying 'bye' in her language. The last one was the most precious one, and often denoted a hint of affection. 

I like the term: "In like with him/her". It shows that you're definitely interested in them, and would like to have a relationship with them, but you haven't reached the emotional levels of outright love. It seems a lot more mature to me than just having a crush. Like, crushes sound like twitterpated middleschoolers who haven't had enough experience to understand their own feelings or other people's feelings. Being in like with someone implies a pretty thorough understanding of your own feelings and thoughts.
Obviously, slang is very personal and not everyone will want to use mine, but I like it.

 

As for the written word....especially with texts.... I dated a girl about two years ago, and we texted often enough that we had developed a lingo and short talk that would truly be indecipherable to outsiders. We don't talk anymore, but my own texting style with everyone has been hugely influenced by all that time texting the one person. It takes a while for my friends to completely get how I text, although  I try to be much more transparent in business type texts. Once we learn to do something one way, it takes a while for people to act a new way. In texting, or even communicating in general I think, we learn scripts of communication with our friends and family and forget that outsiders lack those scripts.

Statistically, girls are more social in both texts and verbal communication, but much of that is communication between girls. So they can either learn a Lot of different scripts, or they can become incomprehensible to outsiders as they derive a more specialized lingo with their friends. In either case, we guys are screwed by our noncompetitive sociability skills

[StrikerEZ he/him]

I've always found that, even as a guy, I tend to be able to communicate with girls better than guys (at least through text). I guess I'm just not all that close with very many of my guy friends, so I always feel awkward texting them, which is also partially because I don't text them enough. As for my girl friends, I don't know why, I've found that I'm better at getting my thoughts across to them better than with guys, and I tend to relate to girls more than guys. Of course, girls can still be really confusing to me, mainly in person but less so in texts. The one thing I hate is that both guys and girls seem to take forever to respond to texts. Like, we'll be in the middle of a conversation, and then they won't answer for like an hour. It gets really annoying. Of course, there are exceptions to this, a major one being my ex-boyfriend. He responded to texts really fast, even well before we started dating. Oh, and there was this one girl that was better than most, though she would disappear every now and then.

Sorry for the rant, I forgot whichever topic I was in.

Edited June 12, 2017 by StrikerEZ

[Kaymyth she/her]

Eh, I am creeping up closer and closer to 40, and I still get crushes. Then I go home and tell my husband about them and he giggles at me.  ...this probably would not work with many relationships, but it does for us.

Here is a story now about James and one of the few things about him that drives me nuts:

Saturday, after we have finished up a long day of working on resealing the deck, I hear suddenly from James, "Ooch! Ouch!" And I turn to find him picking his way barefoot through the gravel under the deck towards the hose so he can rinse off the paintbrushes. This frustrated me, because I was wearing shoes. Had he said something, or asked me, or whatever, I could have done it instead. But no, he just goes and DOES the thing without asking for help and by the time I learn what's going on, it's too late to do anything. He could've cut his feet. He did strain a toe. All because he wouldn't ask me to do a thing (or just go inside and get his danged shoes).

[Oversleep]

4 minutes ago, Kaymyth said:

Saturday, after we have finished up a long day of working on resealing the deck

I'm not sure I know what that means

Unless you were working on a ship, then I understood everything perfectly

[Kaymyth she/her]

1 minute ago, Oversleep said:

I'm not sure I know what that means

Unless you were working on a ship, then I understood everything perfectly

Heh. Deck, in this case, refers to the wooden raised structure in our backyard. Kind of like a front porch, but on the back of the house and bigger, sort of an outdoor entertaining space with no roof.

[Left he/him]

1 minute ago, Oversleep said:

I'm not sure I know what that means

Unless you were working on a ship, then I understood everything perfectly

A deck? A deck is another word for porch in America. Basically, an elevated patio connected directly to the house that is usually made of wood or synth wood. 

 

Edit: Ninja'd for the first time in months

Edited June 12, 2017 by Left

[Oversleep]

7 minutes ago, Kaymyth said:

Heh. Deck, in this case, refers to the wooden raised structure in our backyard. Kind of like a front porch, but on the back of the house and bigger, sort of an outdoor entertaining space with no roof.

So, is this the same thing as terrace?

[Left he/him]

50 minutes ago, Oversleep said:

So, is this the same thing as terrace?

Not quite. A terrace is usually not attached to the ground floor. Decks are only ever attached to the ground floor. Functionally, they are the same, but their placement is different. 

[Kaymyth she/her]

2 hours ago, Oversleep said:

So, is this the same thing as terrace?

See, I think of a terrace as being a leveled piece of ground built into a hill.

50 minutes ago, Left said:

Not quite. A terrace is usually not attached to the ground floor. Decks are only ever attached to the ground floor. Functionally, they are the same, but their placement is different. 

More or less, though my house is a bit odd. The ground floor in the front is a story up in the back because our yard slopes. We have a walk-out basement. So our deck is accessed from the kitchen, but raised up above the backyard.

The thing that you're referring to as a terrace is clicking in my brain as a balcony.

[Delightful]

@Chaos @Rubix @PeterAhlstrom

Could you please let Brandon know he's invited to our wedding in Israel on the 10th of September? On the tiny chance he'll be done with Oathbringer and  he can come? Will send and or post a proper invitation when they're done. Or, maybe, if he can't come, if he could maybe write something to us/to read at the wedding? Thanks so much!

And general reminder all Sharders are invited.