The Official Thread of Relationships

[StrikerEZ he/him]

On 9/10/2017 at 5:18 PM, Mrs. Delightful Ferring said:

So a thing happened.....

Congratulations!!!!! I'm so happy for you and @Pinnacle-Ferring

[Shqueeves]

Although this is a slight necro, I feel like my relationship with my dad took a hit last week. I'm not going to go into too much detail, but suffice it to say that he disapproves of my reluctance to go to school dances

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

6 hours ago, Shqueeves said:

Although this is a slight necro, I feel like my relationship with my dad took a hit last week. I'm not going to go into too much detail, but suffice it to say that he disapproves of my reluctance to go to school dances

 

[Mistbornwithakitty she/her]

7 hours ago, Shqueeves said:

Although this is a slight necro, I feel like my relationship with my dad took a hit last week. I'm not going to go into too much detail, but suffice it to say that he disapproves of my reluctance to go to school dances

I feel you.  My relationship with my dad has never been brilliant either.  You two will work it out though, I'm sure. 

[Left he/him]

Mine wasn’t the best for most of my life either. Since I’ve moved to university and had a lot more grown up things to do we’ve grown a lot closer though. It takes time, and it takes work. I wasn’t ever great at reaching out to him. One thing I’ve learned though is that you can become closer to anyone if you cook for them. 

[Steeldancer he/him]

5 hours ago, Left said:

Mine wasn’t the best for most of my life either. Since I’ve moved to university and had a lot more grown up things to do we’ve grown a lot closer though. It takes time, and it takes work. I wasn’t ever great at reaching out to him. One thing I’ve learned though is that you can become closer to anyone if you cook for them. 

^^ this is truth. For instance, my Grandma. The ultimate cook. I love her so much, she makes so much food. 

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

Oh dear, my post didn't seem to work there.

@Shqueeves Give each other space basically.

[The Honor Spren she/her]

Woah resurrection sort of. 

Anywayses, I need some advice. There’s this guy at school who I have a crush on, but I know for a definitive fact he is not interested. There’s this other girl and they’re not officially dating yet but they have confirmed feelings and are basically just waiting for winter break. 

So, yeah, I definitely want to get over him but the thing is I genuinely enjoy talking with him and stuff just as a friend. Anyone know how to stop feeling romantic attraction for someone without completely severing a friendship?

[Silverblade5 he/him]

4 hours ago, The Honor Spren said:

Woah resurrection sort of. 

Anywayses, I need some advice. There’s this guy at school who I have a crush on, but I know for a definitive fact he is not interested. There’s this other girl and they’re not officially dating yet but they have confirmed feelings and are basically just waiting for winter break. 

So, yeah, I definitely want to get over him but the thing is I genuinely enjoy talking with him and stuff just as a friend. Anyone know how to stop feeling romantic attraction for someone without completely severing a friendship?

The only real advice I can offer is determining what you enjoy, and just focusing on that. Perhaps doing things in a group might help with distancing yourself romantically while still maintaining the friendship. 

[Delightful]

On 08/12/2017 at 4:48 AM, The Honor Spren said:

Woah resurrection sort of. 

Anywayses, I need some advice. There’s this guy at school who I have a crush on, but I know for a definitive fact he is not interested. There’s this other girl and they’re not officially dating yet but they have confirmed feelings and are basically just waiting for winter break. 

So, yeah, I definitely want to get over him but the thing is I genuinely enjoy talking with him and stuff just as a friend. Anyone know how to stop feeling romantic attraction for someone without completely severing a friendship?

That sounds rough . I don't really have advice except maybe give it time? 

[marsoupial they/them]

On 12/7/2017 at 9:48 PM, The Honor Spren said:

Woah resurrection sort of. 

Anywayses, I need some advice. There’s this guy at school who I have a crush on, but I know for a definitive fact he is not interested. There’s this other girl and they’re not officially dating yet but they have confirmed feelings and are basically just waiting for winter break. 

So, yeah, I definitely want to get over him but the thing is I genuinely enjoy talking with him and stuff just as a friend. Anyone know how to stop feeling romantic attraction for someone without completely severing a friendship?

As Del said, certainly give it time. The only real advice I can give you is what not to do, so. Don't try to sever connection from him, that doesn't help anything. Don't try to find someone else to focus on, because rebounding is never a good coping mechanism. Try your best not to be bitter about the other girl, and just focus on the fact that you can still be friends with him, and try to appreciate that all you can.

[NamelessThirteenth]

Can someone please explain to me what this thread is? TBH I thought it was for lonely people needing help with their relations, but close inspection showed some married couples (congrats!!!), so...

I really wanna know so that I know what I can post on this thread

[A Budgie she/her]

32 minutes ago, NamelessThirteenth said:

Can someone please explain to me what this thread is? TBH I thought it was for lonely people needing help with their relations, but close inspection showed some married couples (congrats!!!), so...

I really wanna know so that I know what I can post on this thread

I think it's a bit of a mixed bag. If you've got relationship issues, or just general news about your relationships, getting married, anything really, you can post here.

[NamelessThirteenth]

How about techniques for relationship creation? I can do that

 

[Shqueeves]

6 hours ago, NamelessThirteenth said:

How about techniques for relationship creation? I can do that

If you feel that it'll contribute, go for it

[mattig89ch he/him]

On 12/22/2017 at 5:51 AM, NamelessThirteenth said:

How about techniques for relationship creation? I can do that

Sure, that might help a few of us.  Myself included.

[Delightful]

On 22 December 2017 at 0:51 PM, NamelessThirteenth said:

How about techniques for relationship creation? I can do that

 

Sure! 

This is basically all things relationships, including both platonic and romantic. Questions, advice, news, venting, anything. 

[mattig89ch he/him]

Not to steal anyone's thunder, but I just found this on the youtubes.  Take it with a grain of salt, but it might be helpful to some.

[NamelessThirteenth]

Alright, here we go, @mattig89ch, @Del-light-full...

The Art of the Lure - Part I

Disclaimer: This is not a complete guide to landing the girl/guy of your dreams. Keep in mind that these do not always apply, and they are not sure win. This is, as you can see, an art, not a science, so please keep that in mind.

Warning: This guide's intended purpose is to help the user land the girl/guy they desire. This is NOT a skillset to be used on everyone indiscriminately, as this is a midnset that I despise, and it would greatly offend me for you to iuse it that way. I am also not responsible for any damage to the user, be it from incorrect use, or the intended target's reaction.

This will, I hope, be a complete guide...however I don't have the time to sit here and write consecutive for about two hours, so I'll publish it in parts on this thread

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Lesson One: Conquer your fears

As simple as this sounds, his is usually what stops most people from approaching the girl/guy of their choice. It is the first, and most likely the largest hurrdle you will ever face in your path into the Art. Unfortunately, there isn't much I could say at this point, besides that you must always think positive thoughts. Don't put yourself down - the minute you imagine a failed scenarrio after ou approach the girl/guy, you have already failed in reality. Keep a positive outlook.

Also, push yourself into it. I'm not saying to profess your love at step one. However, this is the starting point. Start a conversation, say hi...anything. What worked for me is that I'd just stop thinking about it. There's a linebetween courage and stupidity, and I just launched myself into the stupid and went ahead and started a conversation.

Finally, don't be afraid to try again. He/she is a person, not a life or death apocalypse run. You will try again, and maybe then it'll turn out fine

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Lesson Two: A smile - the greatest weapon

Simple - smile more, and smile often. A good excercise is to spend a long time, say a day, forcing yourself to smile, whatever it is you're doing. In a coule of hours you'll find that this habit sticks, and it'll also have the benefit of keeping you happy. Studies show that smiling aids the brain's release of endorphins, and keeps you happy.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Lesson Three: The Four Elements of Starter

So, you want to start a conversation. How do you do it? 

Simple. Experience and studies show that the human mind finds it easy to speak on four things: Goals, Money, Studies and Fitness. Of course this varies from person to person. You'll see that cosmere is not up there, and for a good reason. This is generalised, because this may be the first time you talk to this guy/girl. If this is the case feel free to use the four elements of starter. Ask him/her What are you planning to do in the future? Or Did you study for the exam? 

Of course, these all don't apply if you know her well. While you may be inclined to use one of these starter topics, know that it is always better when you use your own. If you know he/she likes books, talk about books. If you know she (not he) likes Cosmere books, talk to her about them, then send me her number...

All in all, you'll find that conversations become much easier to hold the more you know about him/her. 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Lesson Four: Forcing an answer

Okay, this sounds weird. For the record, DO NOT TORTURE YOUR CRUSH. There, I said it.

There a some techiniques out there which are basically methoids of asking your question so that you do not receive no for an answer. Extremely, devilish, this method is probably the most powerful weapon in your arsenal. That said, do not overuse it - it, as most weapons, wears out from extended use.

The Double Bind: Simplest method of them all. You want to ask for, lets say, his/her notes. When you ask your question, bypass the question completely and underpin it with intricacies...alright that sounds confusing. Here's an example:

"Can I borrow your notes and return them to you after lunch? Or can I keep them till tomorrow?"

This tricks the brain into focusing on the second question. Rather than think about whether they actually want to give you the notes, they'll think about the time frame given. The good thing about this method is that it can be practiced: try it on your friends and family. There are also many other techniques mentioned across a variety of media, so go out and explore, although this proved for me the simplest and least confusing one

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

[mattig89ch he/him]

@namlessthirtheeth nice tips!  thanks for them.  I have a hard time with step one, much less 2-4.  But they are good to at least keep in mind.

[Oversleep]

21 hours ago, NamelessThirteenth said:

"Can I borrow your notes and return them to you after lunch? Or can I keep them till tomorrow?"

This tricks the brain into focusing on the second question. Rather than think about whether they actually want to give you the notes, they'll think about the time frame given. The good thing about this method is that it can be practiced: try it on your friends and family. There are also many other techniques mentioned across a variety of media, so go out and explore, although this proved for me the simplest and least confusing one

Actually, that kind of question would set off many triggers. At least for me - I mean "this person here just assumed I would give them my notes just like that! What in Damnation?".

I'm not saying technique is wrong or bad, but much more subtlety is needed.

[NamelessThirteenth]

4 hours ago, Ookla the Indefatigable said:

Actually, that kind of question would set off many triggers

See, I forgot to mention this. You're right, subtlety is required, but that depends who you ask. From personal experience, if you ask a friend the question above, he'll most likely respond yes. But you don't go to random strangers and ask for notes. So in essence subtelty is propotionate to your relationship with the person.

Thanks for pointing this out

[Steeldancer he/him]

So girls. I'm now... talking to two girls? 

One is a little younger than me, she's also Mormon, lives farther away, and I like a little better (maybe because she's loving WoK, idk). Unfortunately, she's also moving to Utah in March. 

Then there's the one from work, that I have mentioned before, and I finally worked up the guts to give her my phone number last night. She texted me back, so that's a good thing. Shes my age, not mormon, and also cute. 

I'm not really interested in getting into another serious relationship for now, so... for now I'll just see what happens. 

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

Batman is in awe of you.

[Quickbronze he/him]

On 12/24/2017 at 11:12 PM, NamelessThirteenth said:

If you know she (not he) likes Cosmere books, talk to her about them, then send me her number...

Haha...

...heck no buddy

Edited March 10, 2018 by Quickbronze