The Official Thread of Relationships

[marsoupial they/them]

Just now, Ookla the Pug-whisperer said:

 

 

 

Thanks guys. This isn't an area where I have a lot of experience, so I guess I'll just have to see how it goes. Glad to know you've all got my back, though.   

Are you kidding? We've always got your back. 

[ThirdGen]

I've never been able to wrap my head around flirting.  When I hit on someone, I mean it.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

9 minutes ago, The Ooklent One said:

I've never been able to wrap my head around flirting.  When I hit on someone, I mean it.

See, I….am not even sure I know how to do that.  Flirting seems like Level 1, or maybe Level 2. I'm kind of at Level 0 right now. 

[marsoupial they/them]

6 hours ago, Ookla the Pug-whisperer said:

See, I….am not even sure I know how to do that.  Flirting seems like Level 1, or maybe Level 2. I'm kind of at Level 0 right now. 

Well, does she seem like someone who, ah, keeps their options open, gender-wise?

Just take your time and pace yourself. Go at whatever "speed" will work, and something is bound to happen.

Besides, who wouldn't want to date this fantastic? pug-loving canon-stretching librarian?

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

You do need to "flirt" with her @Ookla the Pug-whisperer, just talk to her, no need to flatter her every 2 seconds which is basically flirting. 

Just get to know her better I guess

And then it turns out she's a neonazi 

Why did I think that?

[Mestiv he/him]

23 hours ago, Ookla the Pug-whisperer said:

See, I….am not even sure I know how to do that.  Flirting seems like Level 1, or maybe Level 2. I'm kind of at Level 0 right now. 

Start with some safe compliments, day something nice like "your my favorite patron " and something that refers to her looks. Observe her reactions, ask her out if  she's reacting well. after your first date you are allowed to add more upfront compliments about her looks like calling her sexy. slowly introduce erotic subtext to your conversations here and there. And that's it. I think that flirting is all about the subtext, at first more subtle, then not so subtle, but still not anything too "aggressive". 

[marsoupial they/them]

I will henceforth be referring to my boyfriend as Rachmaninoff, because he's a huge classical music geek.

He's composing a symphony.

[+Slowswift]

6 hours ago, bleeder said:

I will henceforth be referring to my boyfriend as Rachmaninoff, because he's a huge classical music geek.

He's composing a symphony.

I...  

I can't even. I can't formulate a proper response to just how amazing that is. 

Edited December 7, 2016 by Slowswift

[marsoupial they/them]

8 minutes ago, Slowswift said:

I...  

I can't even. I can't formulate a proper response to just how amazing that is. 

He's 17 

Most talented guy I know.

[Oversleep]

On 6.12.2016 at 7:57 PM, bleeder said:

I will henceforth be referring to my boyfriend as Rachmaninoff, because he's a huge classical music geek.

He's composing a symphony.

hm... Frobisher could be a better nickname (reference to Cloud Atlas)

[Erunion he/him]

On 12/6/2016 at 10:57 AM, bleeder said:

I will henceforth be referring to my boyfriend as Rachmaninoff, because he's a huge classical music geek.

He's composing a symphony.

...... You ever read Cloud Atlas? 

(Just noticed, not the only one to think of that @Ookla the Sunrise Watcher)

Classical music = awesomesauce. Absolutely love the classics. 

Edited December 8, 2016 by Erunion (The Incorrigible)
Sunrise came before me

[Spoolofwhool]

On 12/6/2016 at 1:57 PM, bleeder said:

I will henceforth be referring to my boyfriend as Rachmaninoff, because he's a huge classical music geek.

He's composing a symphony.

Very nice. Symphonies sound challenging. (Yes literally and creation-wise)

[Nashan’Elin he/him]

I have a problem. Well, it's not really a problem, but it's causing another problem, and... [It's spoilered for size]

Spoiler

I think I have a crush on a guy. A wild sexuality crisis appears! 

It all started at my school's homecoming this year, back in September or October, I don't remember. I went with a group of six friends, but four of them were in two couples and thus spent the whole time with their dates, and one other friend split from the group once we got to the dance. So I spent the entire two-hour dance just with this one guy. Both he and I are pretty large introverts, and since all of our friends were off doing stuff, we didn't really talk to anyone but each other. Which is totally fine, I enjoyed it. But as it got late, we both started flirting (kind of), and we both knew it. He actually said to me "Are we joking?" and I replied "I don't know." and he agreed. 

After that night, I started getting both really flirty with him and really confused. I talked it over with my friend (who really ships us) and I do kinda think I have developed a bad case of feelings. Things got awkward for a little while, since he kinda caught on to the borderline-flirting and asked one of my friends if I liked him. She gave him a kind of non-answer, and it turned out that he used to like me, and doesn't anymore. So I still have feelings, and not much of a chance for anything to happen.

 

Basically, any tips on getting over a crush that's also your first recognized homosexual crush, while dealing with that whole thing as well?

[marsoupial they/them]

15 minutes ago, Nashan'Elin said:

I have a problem. Well, it's not really a problem, but it's causing another problem, and... [It's spoilered for size]

  Hide contents

I think I have a crush on a guy. A wild sexuality crisis appears! 

It all started at my school's homecoming this year, back in September or October, I don't remember. I went with a group of six friends, but four of them were in two couples and thus spent the whole time with their dates, and one other friend split from the group once we got to the dance. So I spent the entire two-hour dance just with this one guy. Both he and I are pretty large introverts, and since all of our friends were off doing stuff, we didn't really talk to anyone but each other. Which is totally fine, I enjoyed it. But as it got late, we both started flirting (kind of), and we both knew it. He actually said to me "Are we joking?" and I replied "I don't know." and he agreed. 

After that night, I started getting both really flirty with him and really confused. I talked it over with my friend (who really ships us) and I do kinda think I have developed a bad case of feelings. Things got awkward for a little while, since he kinda caught on to the borderline-flirting and asked one of my friends if I liked him. She gave him a kind of non-answer, and it turned out that he used to like me, and doesn't anymore. So I still have feelings, and not much of a chance for anything to happen.

 

Basically, any tips on getting over a crush that's also your first recognized homosexual crush, while dealing with that whole thing as well?

Oh, Nash. I'm sorry. 

When I struggle through crushes, I try to remember that it's best not to get "over" the crush, but to get through it.

You have feelings for this guy. That's great, and normal. As normal as the human condition gets, that is.

Feelings, whether they're happy or sad or romantic, are sometimes hard to place with words. I express my feelings through things like music. Find something you enjoy, and channel your energies into that, both to be productive and get your mind off of it.

Another thing you can do is to be around close friends and family, and people you love. 

Also, go out and meet new people. Make friends, and get to know folks. It's fun, I promise. 

I have some experiences with crushes and guys that I don't necessarily want to share on the threads, so if you want to talk about this more, feel free to PM me. I'm here for you if you want to talk.

Edited December 14, 2016 by bleeder

[Nashan’Elin he/him]

1 minute ago, bleeder said:

Oh, Nash. I'm sorry. 

When I struggle through crushes, I try to remember that it's best not to get "over" the crush, but to get through it.

You have feelings for this guy. That's great, and normal. As normal as the human condition gets, that is.

Feelings, whether they're happy or sad or romantic, are sometimes hard to place with words. I express my feelings through things like music. Find something you enjoy, and channel your energies into that, both to be productive and get your mind off of it.

Another thing you can do is to be around close friends and family, and people you love. 

Also, go out and meet new people. Make friends, and get to know folks. It's fun, I promise. 

I have some experiences with crushes and guys that I don't necessarily want to share on the threads, so if you want to talk about this more, feel free to PM me. I'm here for you if you want to talk.

Thanks, bleeder. It really helps to hear that. 
And it's not hurting me, it's just sometimes weird being around people you have a crush and trying not be awkward and be friendly without being "too" friendly, you know?

[marsoupial they/them]

8 minutes ago, Nashan'Elin said:

Thanks, bleeder. It really helps to hear that. 
And it's not hurting me, it's just sometimes weird being around people you have a crush and trying not be awkward and be friendly without being "too" friendly, you know?

I know what you mean.

[HonorIsDead he/him]

32 minutes ago, Nashan'Elin said:

I have a problem. Well, it's not really a problem, but it's causing another problem, and... [It's spoilered for size]

  Reveal hidden contents

I think I have a crush on a guy. A wild sexuality crisis appears! 

It all started at my school's homecoming this year, back in September or October, I don't remember. I went with a group of six friends, but four of them were in two couples and thus spent the whole time with their dates, and one other friend split from the group once we got to the dance. So I spent the entire two-hour dance just with this one guy. Both he and I are pretty large introverts, and since all of our friends were off doing stuff, we didn't really talk to anyone but each other. Which is totally fine, I enjoyed it. But as it got late, we both started flirting (kind of), and we both knew it. He actually said to me "Are we joking?" and I replied "I don't know." and he agreed. 

After that night, I started getting both really flirty with him and really confused. I talked it over with my friend (who really ships us) and I do kinda think I have developed a bad case of feelings. Things got awkward for a little while, since he kinda caught on to the borderline-flirting and asked one of my friends if I liked him. She gave him a kind of non-answer, and it turned out that he used to like me, and doesn't anymore. So I still have feelings, and not much of a chance for anything to happen.

 

Basically, any tips on getting over a crush that's also your first recognized homosexual crush, while dealing with that whole thing as well?

first of all, just to preface, I have never been in a relationship so maybe you shouldn't listen to what I say next, but based on what you said, it sounds like he may still like you too

my reasoning: you said he has been asking about, trying to figure out if you like him, that's not really the actions of someone who doesn't like you back. Most of the time I've found that if someone doesn't like you back, but thinks you like them they will avoid talking about crushes with you and will never guess allowed that you like them in case you confirm it and they are stuck knowing it. the fact that he was actively seeking to know if you like him implies to me that he likes you, but is worried you don't like him back, so he mentioned having liked you (in the past) to see how you would react to him having a crush on you, but not going to far by saying that he does like you incase that scared you off.

so my take on the situation is that you guys both like each other, you are just both worried to admit it, though probably for different reasons

then again, as I stated, I have little first hand experience with dating, and i'm a hopeless romantic, so maybe i'm not the best interpreter

I wish you the best of luck and hope you can figure it out

good luck

[little wilson she/her]

31 minutes ago, HonorIsDead said:

my reasoning: you said he has been asking about, trying to figure out if you like him, that's not really the actions of someone who doesn't like you back. Most of the time I've found that if someone doesn't like you back, but thinks you like them they will avoid talking about crushes with you and will never guess allowed that you like them in case you confirm it and they are stuck knowing it. the fact that he was actively seeking to know if you like him implies to me that he likes you, but is worried you don't like him back, so he mentioned having liked you (in the past) to see how you would react to him having a crush on you, but not going to far by saying that he does like you incase that scared you off.

Oh, people can totally not be interested in you and ask friends if you're interested in them. It's what one of my guy friends did in both junior high and high school (I apparently didn't learn my lesson in 8th grade so he taught it to me again in 12th grade. Good times).

[HonorIsDead he/him]

1 minute ago, little wilson said:

Oh, people can totally not be interested in you and ask friends if you're interested in them. It's what one of my guy friends did in both junior high and high school (I apparently didn't learn my lesson in 8th grade so he taught it to me again in 12th grade. Good times).

ok then,  @Nashan'Elin ignore my post

[Erunion he/him]

@Nashan'Elin - first off: are your feelings romantic, or platonic? Because strong platonic feelings are a thing; and they're an important, healthy thing, but they're a thing that is massively underappreciated/undervalued in our society and not talked about nearly enough. 
(Nerd Tangent - the Lord of the Rings is all about super strong platonic relationships; Frodo/Sam, Merry/Pippin, Legolas/Gimli/etc. For this reason, I was super annoyed by all the people shipping Frodo and Sam when the movies came out. They fundamentally missed the point, that Platonic love is a big, important thing in peoples lives, and it's something that Tolkien did extremely well. Which makes sense for a man who came up with most of Middle Earth while fighting in the trenches of WWI and watching most of his friends die beside him. Point of tangent: Are your feelings more like the feelings Frodo and Sam had for each other, or is there clearly a sexual component to your attraction?)

Secondly - if the attraction is romantic (which I think it is from what you're saying), would you feel comfortable having a homosexual relationship? (Do you have any religious/moral concerns with respect to homosexuality?) Is this a thing that you are OK with, or are you more comfortable with heterosexual relationships? If the latter is true, are you/have you been attracted to potential heterosexual partners in the past? 

Thirdly - if the attraction is romantic and you're fine with that, how much of an issue would this be for your society? Would your friends and family be fine with it, or would they be uncomfortable with it, or would they be outright against it? 

Fourthly - if there are issues with friends/family/society, what is your socio-economic position? How old are you? Are you still in highschool? Are you reliant on others who may have issues? 

These are important questions you should probably start thinking through. If you don't feel comfortable posting it here, feel free to PM me. If you don't feel comfortable PMing me, then treat that list of questions like an English assignment; work through the answers for yourself so you come to an understanding of your situation. 

[Nashan’Elin he/him]

On 12/14/2016 at 11:11 PM, Erunion (The Incorrigible) said:

@Nashan'Elin - first off: are your feelings romantic, or platonic? Because strong platonic feelings are a thing; and they're an important, healthy thing, but they're a thing that is massively underappreciated/undervalued in our society and not talked about nearly enough. 
(Nerd Tangent - the Lord of the Rings is all about super strong platonic relationships; Frodo/Sam, Merry/Pippin, Legolas/Gimli/etc. For this reason, I was super annoyed by all the people shipping Frodo and Sam when the movies came out. They fundamentally missed the point, that Platonic love is a big, important thing in peoples lives, and it's something that Tolkien did extremely well. Which makes sense for a man who came up with most of Middle Earth while fighting in the trenches of WWI and watching most of his friends die beside him. Point of tangent: Are your feelings more like the feelings Frodo and Sam had for each other, or is there clearly a sexual component to your attraction?)

Secondly - if the attraction is romantic (which I think it is from what you're saying), would you feel comfortable having a homosexual relationship? (Do you have any religious/moral concerns with respect to homosexuality?) Is this a thing that you are OK with, or are you more comfortable with heterosexual relationships? If the latter is true, are you/have you been attracted to potential heterosexual partners in the past? 

Thirdly - if the attraction is romantic and you're fine with that, how much of an issue would this be for your society? Would your friends and family be fine with it, or would they be uncomfortable with it, or would they be outright against it? 

Fourthly - if there are issues with friends/family/society, what is your socio-economic position? How old are you? Are you still in highschool? Are you reliant on others who may have issues? 

These are important questions you should probably start thinking through. If you don't feel comfortable posting it here, feel free to PM me. If you don't feel comfortable PMing me, then treat that list of questions like an English assignment; work through the answers for yourself so you come to an understanding of your situation. 

Thank you. I'm not sure I'll post my answers, but this did help a ton. Thank you.

And I appreciated the nerd tanget- it helped explain platonic feelings a lot better. 

[Erunion he/him]

1 hour ago, Nashan'Elin said:

Thank you. I'm not sure I'll post my answers, but this did help a ton. Thank you.

And I appreciated the nerd tanget- it helped explain platonic feelings a lot better. 

Glad to help, and I'm glad it helped!  

[marsoupial they/them]

Single again.

[Orlion Blight he/him]

8 minutes ago, bleeder said:

Single again.

I'm sorry 

[Mestiv he/him]

30 minutes ago, bleeder said:

Single again.

*hugs*  at least you are one step closer to finding the right person. Break ups hurt, but also make you stronger!