The Battle for the Sandwich

[Unintelligenius he/him]

Another beam comes down from the sky and hands me the Sandwich. How very kind of the beam...

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

Another beam comes down from the sky and intersects with your beam, meaning I drift leisurely past you and land on the ground. 

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

23 minutes ago, Ink and Embers said:

Another beam comes down from the sky and intersects with your beam, meaning I drift leisurely past you and land on the ground. 

Another beam comes down from the sky, this one a very large steel support beam, and conks you on the head. 

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

I am offended and Soulcast it into a pair of boots.

[AltonicKeys he/him]

On 10/16/2025 at 10:04 AM, AltonicKeys said:

Another cloudy night slowly grows into a violent roar. Rumblings of thunder light the sky. Never a visible bolt, only the looming threat. As the thunder claps, a rhythm can be made out, which slowly turns into discernible words. After a minute or so, everyone can clearly make out the last few words.

"...Three days."

The rumblings quickly cut off, and the clouds fall silent again. Not even an echo returns. It's unclear what the heavens above meant by this, and the rest of the message is lost. The implication is clear though. It's best if everyone prepares for the worst.

The clouds shift. A godray of light beams down through the open doorway in the sky. Another beam of light shines through elsewhere. Eventually the sky is speckled with various pillars of light.

And though there's no rain in the bright clouds, everyone can hear thunderous booms from above. This time, not so menacing. It sounds more like... Confetti poppers?
Yes. Little colored speckles float down from the sky. The clouds quickly rearrange to form words, clearly and sharply spelling "Happy Birthday !"
Trumpets sound from somewhere? Fanfare is played, but it sounds vaguely like the "Happy Birthday" song.

The Sandwich jumps down from Uninteligenius' hand.
Using its legs.
Its legs that stick out from the bottom of the Sandwich. It lands on the ground with a front flip, and flourishes its hands in triumph. Hands that it now. Though all four limbs are more like noodle stumps, without the horror of fingers or toes.
The two pieces of bread flap up and down. The sound of the Sandwich's contents slapping against each other modulate into a voice: "Hey everyone! It's me! The Sandwich! Thank you so much for fighting over me all these years! It makes me feel looooved." It sounds disgusting. "Yesterday was my third birthday, because my creator was late in granting me sentience." Oops. 

The Sandwich hops around, still flapping. "I lose my gift of limbs tomorrow, my gift of speech the next day, and my gift of thought in three days. Hm." The Sandwich falls silent. It doesn't seem too pleased with losing all shreds of consciousness by Thursday. Oh well.

Happy birthday Sandwich! I felt like making a special anniversary event because I really did not expect it to last this long. My child should have died off a long time ago. Um, last year I just did a fun little "Gazing into the sunset" thing and the year before I did not do anything. oh well. 
I'll do my best to keep up for the next few days, but I still have work so it'll be slow sometimes. Enjoy!

[Hoid Slayer He/Him]

4 hours ago, AltonicKeys said:

The clouds shift. A godray of light beams down through the open doorway in the sky. Another beam of light shines through elsewhere. Eventually the sky is speckled with various pillars of light.

And though there's no rain in the bright clouds, everyone can hear thunderous booms from above. This time, not so menacing. It sounds more like... Confetti poppers?
Yes. Little colored speckles float down from the sky. The clouds quickly rearrange to form words, clearly and sharply spelling "Happy Birthday !"
Trumpets sound from somewhere? Fanfare is played, but it sounds vaguely like the "Happy Birthday" song.

The Sandwich jumps down from Uninteligenius' hand.
Using its legs.
Its legs that stick out from the bottom of the Sandwich. It lands on the ground with a front flip, and flourishes its hands in triumph. Hands that it now. Though all four limbs are more like noodle stumps, without the horror of fingers or toes.
The two pieces of bread flap up and down. The sound of the Sandwich's contents slapping against each other modulate into a voice: "Hey everyone! It's me! The Sandwich! Thank you so much for fighting over me all these years! It makes me feel looooved." It sounds disgusting. "Yesterday was my third birthday, because my creator was late in granting me sentience." Oops. 

The Sandwich hops around, still flapping. "I lose my gift of limbs tomorrow, my gift of speech the next day, and my gift of thought in three days. Hm." The Sandwich falls silent. It doesn't seem too pleased with losing all shreds of consciousness by Thursday. Oh well.

Happy birthday Sandwich! I felt like making a special anniversary event because I really did not expect it to last this long. My child should have died off a long time ago. Um, last year I just did a fun little "Gazing into the sunset" thing and the year before I did not do anything. oh well. 
I'll do my best to keep up for the next few days, but I still have work so it'll be slow sometimes. Enjoy!

I grab the sandwich, gag it, cuff its legs, and make a run for it.

[Edema Rue she/her]

“Cruelty!” A familiar caterpillar shouts, wiggling rapidly towards the sandwich. It grabbed the sandwich, freed it, and pulled it up into a tree. “Say, want to come to lunch sometime? You’re one of the group, actually, even though you usually spend it in a vault somewhere.”

[AltonicKeys he/him]

17 minutes ago, Edema Rue said:

“Cruelty!” A familiar caterpillar shouts, wiggling rapidly towards the sandwich. It grabbed the sandwich, freed it, and pulled it up into a tree. “Say, want to come to lunch sometime? You’re one of the group, actually, even though you usually spend it in a vault somewhere.”

The Sandwich's arms and legs pop out. "Why I remember you! Yeah, I'd love to eat something! After like a thousand people tried devouring me, I kinda wonder what it's like. "

[Edema Rue she/her]

1 hour ago, AltonicKeys said:

The Sandwich's arms and legs pop out. "Why I remember you! Yeah, I'd love to eat something! After like a thousand people tried devouring me, I kinda wonder what it's like. "

“Then let’s have some lunch!” The caterpillar set up a picnic, careful to avoid all meat and bread. He whistled loudly and shrilly, then looked around expectantly for the lunch crew.

@Immortal Platypus @NerdyAarakocra

[Unintelligenius he/him]

45 minutes ago, Edema Rue said:

“Then let’s have some lunch!” The caterpillar set up a picnic, careful to avoid all meat and bread. He whistled loudly and shrilly, then looked around expectantly for the lunch crew.

@Immortal Platypus @NerdyAarakocra

Jerome and I lay in the shadows with our wooden spears, ready to pounce and take the Sandwich when the time is right.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

However, it never happens because the God of Shadows smites thee. I steal your wooden spears, pounce, and take the Sandwich.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

1 hour ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

However, it never happens because the God of Shadows smites thee. I steal your wooden spears, pounce, and take the Sandwich.

I steal my spears back and then take the Sandwich and return him to the caterpillar so that they can have a nice picnic.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I interrupt the picnic, steal the Sandwich, and leave them a rotting apple core.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

I politely ask if I can join the picnic. I also ask if I can invite Bartholomew. 

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I say that, yes, you can join the picnic and invite Bartholomew. However, Bartholomew cannot bring any Oobleck.

[Immortal Platypus]

14 hours ago, Edema Rue said:

“Then let’s have some lunch!” The caterpillar set up a picnic, careful to avoid all meat and bread. He whistled loudly and shrilly, then looked around expectantly for the lunch crew.

@Immortal Platypus @NerdyAarakocra

I bring exclusively meat to the picnic. I'm on what we in the business call a carnivore diet.

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

17 hours ago, Edema Rue said:

“Then let’s have some lunch!” The caterpillar set up a picnic, careful to avoid all meat and bread. He whistled loudly and shrilly, then looked around expectantly for the lunch crew.

@Immortal Platypus @NerdyAarakocra

"hello?" a tiny little man says "can i join da picnic? ma name is rlaehrwk"

5 hours ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

I interrupt the picnic, steal the Sandwich, and leave them a rotting apple core.

I take the sandwich back to the picnic

Edited October 21, 2025 by CoderDrag0n8

[AltonicKeys he/him]

15 hours ago, Edema Rue said:

“Then let’s have some lunch!” The caterpillar set up a picnic, careful to avoid all meat and bread. He whistled loudly and shrilly, then looked around expectantly for the lunch crew.

@Immortal Platypus @NerdyAarakocra

1 hour ago, Immortal Platypus said:

I bring exclusively meat to the picnic. I'm on what we in the business call a carnivore diet.

Just now, CoderDrag0n8 said:

I take the sandwich back to the picnic

The Sandwich thanks you. It hops around, then stops to stare at the meat. After a moment, it takes two tiny chunks of bread out of itself, puts a shred of meat in between, sets it on the typical picnic blanket, and steps back.

It's a sandwich.

The Sandwich seems proud of its creation.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

3 hours ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

I say that, yes, you can join the picnic and invite Bartholomew. However, Bartholomew cannot bring any Oobleck.

Bartholomew questions who gave you the authority to make those decisions. 

[Edema Rue she/her]

1 hour ago, AltonicKeys said:

The Sandwich thanks you. It hops around, then stops to stare at the meat. After a moment, it takes two tiny chunks of bread out of itself, puts a shred of meat in between, sets it on the typical picnic blanket, and steps back.

It's a sandwich.

The Sandwich seems proud of its creation.

“Would this be considered a birth?” The caterpillar asks curiously, antennas wiggling. “Or cannibalism?”

Edited October 21, 2025 by Edema Rue

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

1 hour ago, AltonicKeys said:

The Sandwich thanks you. It hops around, then stops to stare at the meat. After a moment, it takes two tiny chunks of bread out of itself, puts a shred of meat in between, sets it on the typical picnic blanket, and steps back.

It's a sandwich.

The Sandwich seems proud of its creation.

"wow mister, thats really cool!" rlaehrwk said.

15 minutes ago, Edema Rue said:

“Would this be considered a birth?” The caterpillar asks curiously, antennas wiggling. “Or cannibalism?”

"may i go to the lunch, mister?" rlaehrwk asked.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

I dress up as a chef and walk over with a tray of sandwiches and drinks for the picnic goers.

[Immortal Platypus]

1 hour ago, Edema Rue said:

“Would this be considered a birth?” The caterpillar asks curiously, antennas wiggling. “Or cannibalism?”

"It can't be cannibalism unless it eats the other sandwich."

[-ACE- he/him]

It doesn't matter if its cannibalism, because kaladin stormblessed lashes the sandwich into my hands, where I grab it. However, I wisely do not eat it (for fear of being impaled) and instead park my car on it.

Edited October 21, 2025 by -ACE-

[Through the Living Hopper He/Him]

I clap my hands loudly to set off your car alarm. The noise eventually annoys someone so much that they drive it off the sandwich over a cliff, which I promptly grab.

I am unaffected by the alarm, because I am the only person who can turn it off, and that is the way of car alarms.