The Battle for the Sandwich

[Unintelligenius he/him]

3 hours ago, Ashkaloda said:

Suddenly the forestbed collapses and you fall into a pit. Wild bananas leap out of the brush, surrounding you and poking down at you menacingly with wooden spears. It appears they were hunting you instead. 

Which is perfect because they just fell for my trap. The trees behind them, which were just cardboard cutouts, suddenly fall over and an army of monkeys with nets now surrounds the wild bananas. The monkeys, following Jerome's commands, begin to gather up all the wild bananas, eating any that don't surrender.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

I leap out a tree and grab the sandwich from YouCantHaveMySandwich, then shapeshift in a chameleon and hide

[NerdSandwich she/her]

Since you told me that you were a chameleon, I feel around until I find you and snatch the Sandwich back.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

22 hours ago, Uninteligenius said:

Which is perfect because they just fell for my trap. The trees behind them, which were just cardboard cutouts, suddenly fall over and an army of monkeys with nets now surrounds the wild bananas. The monkeys, following Jerome's commands, begin to gather up all the wild bananas, eating any that don't surrender.

And then the wild bananas true trap is revealed. Having now gathered all of your monkeys in one location, Wild Banana Command powers up the space laser and fires it at your position. All of the monkeys who thought they were eating bananas are extremely disappointed, as it turns out that they were instead eating expendable old plantains. 

[Unintelligenius he/him]

9 minutes ago, Ashkaloda said:

And then the wild bananas true trap is revealed. Having now gathered all of your monkeys in one location, Wild Banana Command powers up the space laser and fires it at your position. All of the monkeys who thought they were eating bananas are extremely disappointed, as it turns out that they were instead eating expendable old plantains. 

Then the monkey's truer trap is revealed. Seeing where the space laser was fired from, they raid the Wild Banana Command center while the monkeys that had been eating the fake bananas are blown up by the space laser. They're fine with this because they were really fake, robotic monkeys. I survive the laser because Jerome makes a force field appear, and then I join the monkeys at Wild Banana Command, where they are holding all the wild banana leaders hostage. I also snag the Sandwich on my way there.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

The Wild Banana Overlord, ruler of this quadrant of the Wild Banana Empire, seeing what happened to the Wild Banana Command, initiated remote manual override on the space laser, causing it to self-destruct with the force of a supernova and obliterating everything within a lightyear of the area. The blast was so powerful that even Jerome's forcefield could not stop it. 

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I possess the wild bananas and they steal the Sandwich for me. I then unpossess them once they are far away.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

12 minutes ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

I possess the wild bananas and they steal the Sandwich for me. I then unpossess them once they are far away.

They are already very far away, but permit you to possess a few of them and take the sandwich to spite @Uninteligenius

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I thank the wild bananas and build them a shrine.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

34 minutes ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

I thank the wild bananas and build them a shrine.

The Wild Bananas joyfully accept the shrine and use it to sacrifice a lowly Red Banana to the God of Berries. 

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I offer up my manuscript for my novel to their God.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

7 minutes ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

I offer up my manuscript for my novel to their God.

The Wild Bananas inquire as to the contents of the manuscript, wanting to be certain it would please the God of Berries. 

[Unintelligenius he/him]

4 hours ago, Ashkaloda said:

The Wild Banana Overlord, ruler of this quadrant of the Wild Banana Empire, seeing what happened to the Wild Banana Command, initiated remote manual override on the space laser, causing it to self-destruct with the force of a supernova and obliterating everything within a lightyear of the area. The blast was so powerful that even Jerome's forcefield could not stop it. 

Thankfully, all the monkeys had teleportation bracelets, so they all get away to safety. I then, with Jerome's help, lead my new army of monkeys and take the Sandwich from @YouCantHaveMySandwich and then take her prisoner. 

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

10 hours ago, Uninteligenius said:

Thankfully, all the monkeys had teleportation bracelets, so they all get away to safety. I then, with Jerome's help, lead my new army of monkeys and take the Sandwich from @YouCantHaveMySandwich and then take her prisoner. 

The Wild Banana Overlord does not appreciate this and blasts at you with their fleet of mega space lasers. 

[Unintelligenius he/him]

Just now, Ashkaloda said:

The Wild Banana Overlord does not appreciate this and blasts at you with their fleet of mega space lasers. 

I dodge the lasers. Then I continue on with my army, Sandwich, and prisoner to a super secret hidey hole.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

You take me with you and it turns out that I was faking unconsiousness. I take the Sandwich back and offer berries to the Bananas.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

46 minutes ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

You take me with you and it turns out that I was faking unconsiousness. I take the Sandwich back and offer berries to the Bananas.

The Wild Bananas question as to what type of Berry these Berries are. 

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I respond that they are Straw Berries and inquire as to whether those offended them. I humbly ask for forgiveness if so.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

46 minutes ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

I respond that they are Straw Berries and inquire as to whether those offended them. I humbly ask for forgiveness if so.

They are offended, as they consider Strawberries to be Aggregate Accessory Fruit and not True Berries. 

 

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I respectfully inquire what True Berries I can provide them.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

They hand you a list that includes Avocado, Banana, Barberry, Oregon-Grape, Mayapple, Strawberry Tree, Bearberry, Bilberry, Blueberry, Cranberry, Lingonberry, Crowberry, Coffee Berry, Gooseberry, Currant, Eggplant, Tomato, Goji Berry, Elderberry, Sapodilla, Grape, Honeysuckle, Persimmon, Pumpkin, Cucumber, Watermelon, Orange, Kumquat, Lemon, and Squash. 

[Unintelligenius he/him]

20 minutes ago, Ashkaloda said:

They hand you a list that includes Avocado, Banana, Barberry, Oregon-Grape, Mayapple, Strawberry Tree, Bearberry, Bilberry, Blueberry, Cranberry, Lingonberry, Crowberry, Coffee Berry, Gooseberry, Currant, Eggplant, Tomato, Goji Berry, Elderberry, Sapodilla, Grape, Honeysuckle, Persimmon, Pumpkin, Cucumber, Watermelon, Orange, Kumquat, Lemon, and Squash. 

I incinerate the list with a fireball and then grab the Sandwich and scadadle before any of the Wild Bananas can do anything.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

57 minutes ago, Uninteligenius said:

I incinerate the list with a fireball and then grab the Sandwich and scadadle before any of the Wild Bananas can do anything.

However, the Wild Bananas had secretly planted a tracker on you, and so follow you and blast you with their mega space laser. 

[Unintelligenius he/him]

6 hours ago, Ashkaloda said:

However, the Wild Bananas had secretly planted a tracker on you, and so follow you and blast you with their mega space laser. 

I dodge the mega space laser and then continue on my way, with the Sandwich.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

I beam down from a spaceship you didn't notice because you were too distracted by the space laser, jump into an active volcano, and ask the monkeys if they've ever considered becoming mercenaries.