The Battle for the Sandwich

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

33 minutes ago, Ashkaloda said:

I relish in the pian as you escape out of the crypt to find that the entire world has been converted into a large torture chamber, and the only inhabitants other than yourself are Inquisitors. 

Bartholomew obtains the sandwich through highly illegal means and gives it to me. 

except i am the torture chamber.

then i get bored and fall asleep

"The game is simple - The most delicious bread ever sits on a hill. You must get the bread.
The point is to have fun and be original! Don't just say "I take the bread" cuz that's lame and boring.

The bread is whatever type that you love most. You like a PB&J? It becomes that when you take it.

Anything goes, as long as:
The bread isn't destroyed (I eat it, I burn it to a crisp)
The bread isn't duplicated or replaced. Fakes are allowed.
Your actions aren't too outlandish (The bread appears in my hand and stays there no matter what)

I'll start - I walk up to the bread and grab it."

Anything font size 12 is inside of his dream

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

33 minutes ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

except i am the torture chamber.

then i get bored and fall asleep

"The game is simple - The most delicious bread ever sits on a hill. You must get the bread.
The point is to have fun and be original! Don't just say "I take the bread" cuz that's lame and boring.

The bread is whatever type that you love most. You like a PB&J? It becomes that when you take it.

Anything goes, as long as:
The bread isn't destroyed (I eat it, I burn it to a crisp)
The bread isn't duplicated or replaced. Fakes are allowed.
Your actions aren't too outlandish (The bread appears in my hand and stays there no matter what)

I'll start - I walk up to the bread and grab it."

Anything font size 12 is inside of his dream

The Inquisitors use you to torture a bunch of poor, innocent souls. Then they wake you up and gleefully hack you to bits. 

Edited September 28, 2025 by Ashkaloda
adding gleefully

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

7 minutes ago, Ashkaloda said:

The Inquisitors use you to torture a bunch of poor, innocent souls. Then they wake you up and gleefully hack you to bits. 

Except I cant be woken up

Oh god a bread coalition was formed, then broken apart.

Better fall asleep

"The game is simple - The most delicious red ever sits on a hill. You must get the red.
The point is to have fun and be original! Don't just say "I take the red" cuz that's lame and boring.

The red is whatever type that you love most. You like a PB&J? It becomes that when you take it.

Anything goes, as long as:
The red isn't destroyed (I eat it, I burn it to a crisp)
The red isn't duplicated or replaced. Fakes are allowed.
Your actions aren't too outlandish (The red appears in my hand and stays there no matter what)

I'll start - I walk up to the red and grab it."

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

10 minutes ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

Except I cant be woken up

Oh god a bread coalition was formed, then broken apart.

Better fall asleep

"The game is simple - The most delicious red ever sits on a hill. You must get the red.
The point is to have fun and be original! Don't just say "I take the red" cuz that's lame and boring.

The red is whatever type that you love most. You like a PB&J? It becomes that when you take it.

Anything goes, as long as:
The red isn't destroyed (I eat it, I burn it to a crisp)
The red isn't duplicated or replaced. Fakes are allowed.
Your actions aren't too outlandish (The red appears in my hand and stays there no matter what)

I'll start - I walk up to the red and grab it."

The reason for this is because you are now dead. 

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

13 minutes ago, Ashkaloda said:

The reason for this is because you are now dead. 

Except I cant die

And I'm still asleep

And I'm getting bored

And the sandwich format is boring so ill just chill in nothingness

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

2 hours ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

Except I cant die

And I'm still asleep

And I'm getting bored

And the sandwich format is boring so ill just chill in nothingness

When killed, you instead cease to exist. 

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

1 hour ago, Ashkaloda said:

When killed, you instead cease to exist. 

Except I cant be killed, for my body is made of the dead body of Ghost a previous powerful contender. There is only one way to kill me.

And I cant stop sleeping

And I'm still asleep

And I'm bored again.

No, this isn't fun...

Yes! Here we are, The smallest unit! Finally. Lets see what we can do with this!

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

2 hours ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

Except I cant be killed, for my body is made of the dead body of Ghost a previous powerful contender. There is only one way to kill me.

And I cant stop sleeping

And I'm still asleep

And I'm bored again.

No, this isn't fun...

Yes! Here we are, The smallest unit! Finally. Lets see what we can do with this!

And it was in that one way that the Inquisitors did kill you. 

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

2 hours ago, Ashkaloda said:

And it was in that one way that the Inquisitors did kill you. 

Then what is that one way? If you dont know it, the inquisitors didn't do it.

And I cant stop sleeping

And I'm still asleep

And I'm sleeping

Achoooo choo *sleeping noises*

Huh. This isn't actually that fun

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I eat a piece of bread and steal the Sandwich via interesting illegal means.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

2 hours ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

I eat a piece of bread and steal the Sandwich via interesting illegal means.

I point out that there is a stop sign on the road ahead of you, so you promptly stop all movement, and because there is a go sign in front of me, I continue forward and take the Sandwich from your outstretched, frozen hand.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

1 hour ago, Uninteligenius said:

I point out that there is a stop sign on the road ahead of you, so you promptly stop all movement, and because there is a go sign in front of me, I continue forward and take the Sandwich from your outstretched, frozen hand.

Then you yourself are at the same stop sign you just pointed out and freeze, allowing Bartholomew to Oobleck the sandwich at range and fly it to him. 

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I use a Lightweaving of a stop sign to stop you. I steal the Sandwich from you. Then, I quickly dispose of Bartholomew via a slice to the carotid artery. Thank me for your quick death.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

1 hour ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

I use a Lightweaving of a stop sign to stop you. I steal the Sandwich from you. Then, I quickly dispose of Bartholomew via a slice to the carotid artery. Thank me for your quick death.

I go to Walmart, buy a card in the "thank you for the quick death" section, and send in the mail, to arrive at your house in two weeks. I also make sure to pick up an extra carotid artery for Bartholomew, who was feeling rather put out without one. 

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

I teleport in from Elantris using Aons and grab the sandwich, then realise I'm stuck inside the Lightweaving because I don't know how to get out.

I hope Bartholomew appreciates the carotid artery. 

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I steal it while you are stuck.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

2 hours ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

I steal it while you are stuck.

I pour some glue on your feet so that you are stuck too, and then grab the Sandwich and run off.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I wipe the glue off my feet and resteal the Sandwich.

[The Great Wyver She/Her]

I use my totally pre-planted piece of metal to Ironpull the sandwich to me because I'm a mistborn. I then run off and make Dalinar, Kaladin, AND all the Shards defend me through my natural charm.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

3 hours ago, The Great Wyver said:

I use my totally pre-planted piece of metal to Ironpull the sandwich to me because I'm a mistborn. I then run off and make Dalinar, Kaladin, AND all the Shards defend me through my natural charm.

Then, as always, the shards and people all begin to fight, and eventually everyone is dead, including you, and all that's left is lots of investiture and the Sandwich. I pick up all the shards and become Adonalsium, then pick up the Sandwich, ready to protect it with my infinitely powerful powers.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I plot with 16 other people to split you into Shards again. We succeed, but I betray them, steal all the Shards, and become Adonalsium. I ban groups of more than 10 people and kill everyone else. I steal the Sandwich via Adonalsiumic ways.

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

4 minutes ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

I plot with 16 other people to split you into Shards again. We succeed, but I betray them, steal all the Shards, and become Adonalsium. I ban groups of more than 10 people and kill everyone else. I steal the Sandwich via Adonalsiumic ways.

I hire 1 person with DID and 16 personas to kill you and take Adonalsium, giving them the Dawnshards needed in exchange for the Sandwich.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

However, they do not have the Sandwich although they took Adonalsium. I once again split him and take the Shard Invention because why not.

I give Odium to @ChipsAHoid.

Edited October 1, 2025 by YouCantHaveMySandwich

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

10 minutes ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

However, they do not have the Sandwich although they took Adonalsium. I once again split him and take the Shard Invention because why not.

I give Odium to @ChipsAHoid.

I take Honor, turn it into Honour, and combine it with Autonomy and Reason to create the Shard of KSauce.

I use my new power to steal the Sandwich.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

However, I easily steal the Sandwich back.