The Battle for the Sandwich

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I ambush you and steal the Sandwich. I offer cucumbers to the Wild Bananas.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

15 hours ago, Ink and Embers said:

I beam down from a spaceship you didn't notice because you were too distracted by the space laser, jump into an active volcano, and ask the monkeys if they've ever considered becoming mercenaries. 

They say no, because they are all loyal to their King, my pet monkey Jerome. Then they politely ask you to leave their active volcano hideout and ask you not to tell anyone where they are hiding.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

I apologise for the invasion of their privacy and promise not to tell anyone, then shout "Look! A meteor!" and steal the sandwich from YouCantHaveMySandwich when elle isn't looking. 

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

18 hours ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

I ambush you and steal the Sandwich. I offer cucumbers to the Wild Bananas.

The Wild Bananas accept your Cucumbers. 

9 hours ago, Ink and Embers said:

I apologise for the invasion of their privacy and promise not to tell anyone, then shout "Look! A meteor!" and steal the sandwich from YouCantHaveMySandwich when elle isn't looking. 

The Wild Bananas hear your shout through their extensive spy network and realise that @Uninteligenius is hiding in the volcano. They then fire their mega space laser at it, incinerating the planet. 

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

I am glad I was feruchemically storing breath earlier and worldhop to a different planet before I run out.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

1 hour ago, Ashkaloda said:

The Wild Bananas accept your Cucumbers. 

The Wild Bananas hear your shout through their extensive spy network and realise that @Uninteligenius is hiding in the volcano. They then fire their mega space laser at it, incinerating the planet. 

The volcano was actually a spaceship in disguise, so it flies away right before the planet gets incinerated. The spaceship follows @Ink and Embers and tractor beams the Sandwich and then goes into lightspeed to get away.

[ChipsAHoid He/Him]

8 hours ago, Uninteligenius said:

The volcano was actually a spaceship in disguise, so it flies away right before the planet gets incinerated. The spaceship follows @Ink and Embers and tractor beams the Sandwich and then goes into lightspeed to get away.

I become spaceChip and steal the sandwich from you

Man it’s been a while

Edited October 13, 2025 by ChipsAHoid

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

1 hour ago, ChipsAHoid said:

I become spaceChip and steal the sandwich from you

Man it’s been a while

I alter the curvature of spacetime so lightspeed is now walking speed. I catch up to you quickly due to time dilation, steal the sandwich, and bend spacetime back.

[strmblsd he/him]

i throw a rock into a lake and get 3 whole skips. (my irl record is 17... pretty impressive...)

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

1 minute ago, strmblsd said:

i throw a rock into a lake and get 3 whole skips. (my irl record is 17... pretty impressive...)

I got 20-something the other day, I lost count after a bit. That's an anomaly though, aside from that my record is upper-teens.

I teleport to KSauce,steal the Sandwich, then disappear.

[strmblsd he/him]

Just now, Kansas Stormcursed said:

I got 20-something the other day, I lost count after a bit. That's an anomaly though, aside from that my record is upper-teens.

I teleport to KSauce,steal the Sandwich, then disappear.

mine was an anomalie too. i usuallly get like 6-10 on a good skip. 

i throw one and this time get 5 skips

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

1 minute ago, strmblsd said:

mine was an anomalie too. i usuallly get like 6-10 on a good skip. 

i throw one and this time get 5 skips

I appear next to you and demonstrate my skill by skipping the Sandwich 7 times.

[strmblsd he/him]

Just now, Kansas Stormcursed said:

I appear next to you and demonstrate my skill by skipping the Sandwich 7 times.

i watch it bounce with awe and then say "i think rocks skip better than sandwiches but i wouldnt be the one to ask"

[Doomslug the Arcane she/her]

i throw a rock into the lake

and it sinks

idk how to skip rocks

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

Just now, strmblsd said:

i watch it bounce with awe and then say "i think rocks skip better than sandwiches but i wouldnt be the one to ask"

"It's all in the wrist flick," I reply semi-mysteriously before disappearing again.

1 minute ago, Doomslug the Arcane said:

i throw a rock into the lake

and it sinks

idk how to skip rocks

How

Did you not grow up near a body of water?

[strmblsd he/him]

2 minutes ago, Doomslug the Arcane said:

i throw a rock into the lake

and it sinks

idk how to skip rocks

i throw a rockj and get 4 skips and say thats hwo you do it. do it again.

[Doomslug the Arcane she/her]

3 minutes ago, Kansas Stormcursed said:

"It's all in the wrist flick," I reply semi-mysteriously before disappearing again.

How

Did you not grow up near a body of water?

there's like a small lake near my house

but my parents don't know how to skip rocks either ;-;

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

2 minutes ago, Doomslug the Arcane said:

there's like a small lake near my house

but my parents don't know how to skip rocks either ;-;

Wow

You gotta learn that, it's a vital skill

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

I skip a scarab beetle eight times. This impresses one of the local alligators so much they offer to retrieve the Sandwich for me. 

I too cannot skip rocks. Or really throw anything with a reliable degree of accuracy.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I cannot skip rocks as well but I want to be the only one who can't so I incinerate you (after I steal the Sandwich)

[Unintelligenius he/him]

1 hour ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

I cannot skip rocks as well but I want to be the only one who can't so I incinerate you (after I steal the Sandwich)

I skip the conversation about skipping rocks and take back the Sandwich. Then I lead my monkey army and Jerome off to find the Wild Banana King.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

On 10/13/2025 at 9:48 AM, strmblsd said:

i throw a rock into a lake and get 3 whole skips. (my irl record is 17... pretty impressive...)

On 10/13/2025 at 9:50 AM, Kansas Stormcursed said:

I got 20-something the other day, I lost count after a bit. That's an anomaly though, aside from that my record is upper-teens.

I teleport to KSauce,steal the Sandwich, then disappear.

Dang guys my record is like 10. 

16 hours ago, Uninteligenius said:

I skip the conversation about skipping rocks and take back the Sandwich. Then I lead my monkey army and Jerome off to find the Wild Banana King.

The Wild Banana Overlord of the Wild Banana Empire confronts you with their own army of Bananas and opens fire with their fleet of mega space lasers. 

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I skip your skipping of the skipping and steal the Sandwich.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

1 minute ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

I skip your skipping of the skipping and steal the Sandwich.

Bartholomew skips right into you and knocks you over, then takes the opportunity to grab the sandwich and teleport away. 

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I grab the Sandwich back.