The Battle for the Sandwich

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

“I HAVE A CAT!”

[Edema Rue she/her]

“Hmm…powers are cool.” Aes Sedai gleefully begins shooting things with random bursts of saidar. 

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

Does anyone actually want to try the disclaimer thing?

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

I summon a random burger joint, step inside, and am whisked to Nayo.

This, however, alerts Essa, my everpresent caseworker (a nine-year-old in business clothes). 

“you shouldn’t be here.” She folds her arms. “You’re too unstable magically.”

“Whatever. I have a cat.”

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

"No, I have a cat," Szeth says.

[Edema Rue she/her]

6 minutes ago, Ookla the Nerdy said:

Does anyone actually want to try the disclaimer thing?

Yeah I do, but there’s no way I have that kind of energy and will power. Sorry. 

[Immortal Platypus]

yeah, i would love to, but I don't have that kind of patience.

Edited November 28, 2022 by Ookla the platypus

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

"... Guys, I think you're forgetting why we're really here." I throw down a smoke bomb with a triumphant cackle. When the smoke clears, the sandwich is gone.

[Immortal Platypus]

Just as @Ookla the BlowUpperOfStuff and @Ookla the Ta'veren think they'll be stuck stranded forever, I arrive where Haly is (in a new dragon carriage) and pick her (?) up then we head over to ookla #2/Aes sedai and I take them both back to the sandwich planet. Then I ask for a flamethrower from the supply.

 

also, where did you take the sandwich from @Sequence? it was in the mouse castles, not with anyone that has been on the thread.

Edited November 28, 2022 by Ookla the platypus

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

10 minutes ago, Ookla the platypus said:

also, where did you take the sandwich from @Sequence? it was in the mouse castles, not with anyone that has been on the thread.

"Then I took it from there while you were all confused by the smoke bomb! The point is, the SANDWICH IS MINE! HAHAHAHA!" I jump into a rocket a fly to the moon.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

The Bookwyrm appeared from a random disappearance and woke up. He saw the rocket flying to the moon.

"Did the Artemis program continue without me?" he asked. "Also, if time travel broke, how are we still continually progressing towards the future?"

Then he went back to sleep. 

For about five seconds.

Then he woke up again and went to go find another rocket to chase after Sequence and get the sandwich.

[That1Cellist he/him]

I send a meteor into the rockets and then freeze everyone else in time. I then take the sandwich and zip away to an unknown portion of space-time.

[Immortal Platypus]

"Because time travel was fixed going to the future by myself."

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

15 minutes ago, Ookla the Unknowing said:

I send a meteor into the rockets and then freeze everyone else in time. I then take the sandwich and zip away to an unknown portion of space-time.

I discover the unknown portion of space-time, making it a known portion of space-time, then open a wormhole there, fly through, steal the sandwich, then fall into a supermassive black hole.

[That1Cellist he/him]

I send a reverse black hole into your supermassive black hole, canceling it out. With you sitting there, disoriented, I swoop in and take the sandwich, hiding in a nearby asteroid field.

[Immortal Platypus]

Just now, Ookla the Unknowing said:

I send a reverse black hole into your supermassive black hole, canceling it out. With you sitting there, disoriented, I swoop in and take the sandwich, hiding in a nearby asteroid field.

Dang it cellist, i was typing out pretty much the same thing right when you posted that.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

Because asteroid fields are very very very spaced out (pun not intended) I can only see one asteroid with the naked eye. It is obviously the one you are hiding behind. I explode it and steal the sandwich as your ship spirals out of control.

Edit: I will have an astronomy rant about reverse black holes later, if you would like.

Edited November 28, 2022 by Ookla the Perpetual

[Immortal Platypus]

Suddenly you are engulfed in a blast of fire from my dragon carriage. "I didn't know it could do that!!" I shout as I swoop past taking the sandwich and storing it for safekeeping.

[That1Cellist he/him]

I escape the wreckage in a small shuttle craft and sneak after you.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

The safe runs away with the sandwich, cackling wildly.

"I HAVE IT! I'VE TRICKED THEM! I'VE TRICKED THEM ALL!!!"

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

"YEAH! GREAT JOB! HAND IT OVER TO ME AND I'LL TAKE IT TO THE SAFEHOUSE!" I shout, grabbing the sandwich from the safe and giving it a pat on the back. In it's jubilation, it did not realize what was going on and assumed I was it's compatriot in the theft of the sandwich.

[Immortal Platypus]

While you are on your way, I appear and give an amazing "You Fool, I Had it in a Different Place, Not in a Safe"* speech. While you are distracted, thinking that what i'm saying is true, I steal the sandwich.

 

*trademarked

[Edema Rue she/her]

Now see, I'm rather angry, my friends. You stopped my fiery rampage, and made this thread normal again! *burns down EVERYTHING and takes the sandwich.*

[Immortal Platypus]

*Comes after sandwich and takes it*

"You may be wondering how I survived. I wore a flamethrower for a hat, which when combined with my specific biology, obviously caused extra fire immunity in addition to my natural fire ability so i didn't even get hot from the flames."

did you just call this thread normal?!!! This isn't normal, it is normal for this specific thread.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I weaponize Bookwyrm's astronomy rant. While everyone else is listening to Bookwyrm, I steal the sandwich.