The Battle for the Sandwich

[Immortal Platypus]

I encase the sandwich in the statue of the sandwich.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

I turn the statue into an automaton that is only loyal to me.

[Immortal Platypus]

I take the sandwich right after you begin the procedure and now I run.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

I use telekineses to take back the sandwich

[AltonicKeys he/him]

A cage folds around Thaidakar. A trap! I am now in possession of the sandwich, and a person. Bargain!

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

I murder Keys and take the sandwich. Via murder.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

I break out of the cage by turning it into duplicates of the sandwich. 

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I take the original sandwich using my ProSandwich+ subscription.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

I take the sandwich in a magnificent heist.

[Immortal Platypus]

I put you in a game of heist-a-thon with the sandwich as stakes. I win and receive the sandwich as reward.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

I sacrifice you to Alcatraz the Popsicle Crab god and take the sandwich.

[Immortal Platypus]

I escape the sacrifice and Alcatraz the Popsicle Crab god teleports the sandwich directly to me as a reward for my cleverness.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

I turn you into a snake and start playing a flute. As you start to fall into a trance, I steal the sandwich and run as fast as I can.

[Immortal Platypus]

You clearly didn't know that they don't actually fall into a trance. I immediately snap out of my fake trance and chase you, grab the sandwich, and turn back into an immortal platypus.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

I turn into a sandwich using my inator and grin. "Two can play at that game..."

[Immortal Platypus]

Perry the Platypus attacks you because obviously if you used an inator, you're evil. He wins and I escape.

[EmulatonStromenkiin he/him]

The shadows ambush Platypus, and capture the sandwich

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

I, disguised as one of the shadows, take the sandwich.

[Immortal Platypus]

None of you have the sandwich because Perry never had it. I did. I am now miles away surrounded by pure light.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

I blinked, realizing the hoax too late. I send my army of minions to retrieve the sandwich.

[Telrao she/her]

I smack Thaidakar for not putting his text in bold. Then I teleport to The Sandwich and take it with the power of sketching!

Edited December 1, 2022 by Ookla the Floofy

[Immortal Platypus]

why'd you tell him?

I take it back with the power of PAINT!

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

I blink, realizing my mistake too late. I take the sandwich using a grappling hook.

[Immortal Platypus]

I grab the rope and as it reels me in, slap you with my webbed foot, stab you with my poisonous ankle barbs, grab the sandwich, and then say, "Sorry, gotta go."

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

I heal quickly using my gold mind and throw a radioactive pretzel at you. It explodes and I grab the sandwich and turn into the hulk.