Inverse Ask Anyone Anything

[Scarletfox]

How do those healthy meal shakes taste to you?

Fifteen tanks fell on the house, sir, but don't worry, because only two of them were filled with puppies.

[Mat he/him]

Colonel! My son is in there! He's allergic to dogs! This could be catastrophic!

It's a long story- one that began with a dollar cheeseburger that cost $2.50.

[Scarletfox]

How exactly did you learn to hypnotize people?

How dare you! There were thirty two water buffalos, not thirty three!

[Spren of Kindness she/her]

Does everybody have a water buffalo?

There's no chance we can win on our own.

[Mat he/him]

I assure you, Madam Zookeeper, that this device I'm holding is not a cloning device!

(ninja'd by Kindness, but I'm keeping it )

Just now, Spren of Kindness said:

There's no chance we can win on our own.

We have a puppy, a 12 year old boy, and a grandfather in a wheelchair. What do you say?

*Screams at maximum volume*

[Scarletfox]

Would you like to complete the two week or the three week dual credit Calculus 3 class?

No, sir, we put 'em right back where they came from.

[Eluvianii he/him]

You didn't bring any babies with you, did you, soldier?

I would like to, but if I fail this mission, I won't watch another episode of Dora the Explorer.

[Spren of Kindness she/her]

So, you're going to flunk on purpose?

Sir, the only thing real about that bottle is that it's giving you hallucinations.

[Mat he/him]

Misterrrrr, this bottle of newfangled wine, itssss magical! I'm flyyying!

Unfortunately, my fear of elves won't permit that.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

So you down to commit genocide on all fantastical creatures?

Tacos and aardvarks.

[Experience he/him]

Wanna eat some African tacos?

Math homework.

[DramaQueen she/he/neopronouns]

What's your preferred method of torture?

No, just some spaghetti sauce.

[Experience he/him]

Would you like some chocolate on your ice cream?

46.

[Channelknight Fadran]

Approximately how many more posts will it take me to become a celebrity?

 

Oh, storms... forgot the daisies.

[Mat he/him]

Today's the day- is your dog ready for his date?

An orangish turtle.

[ElectrumSavant he/him]

Did you hear about that bank robbery? It was really crazy- didn't the robbers have a blue turtle as their leader?

Yeah, it's all true. That's why I never wear sweat pants.

[Spren of Kindness she/her]

Your ex tried to strangle someone?

Lieutenant, you have thirty seconds to explain to me what happened here, and it had better be entertaining.

[Eluvianii he/him]

Sir, can you pass the salt? There are too many corpses on the floor.

No, but I'm the postman and I have cool clothes.

[Mat he/him]

Oh! The birthday clown is here; you're early!

That's just my grandfather clock, the noises are completely normal.

[Illwei]

Do...I- Is that screaming I hear from your basement?

If I were, don't you think I would have told you?

[Mat he/him]

Were you the masked man who broke into my house last night?

Uh, that apple is wiggling, so I dunno.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

Sir, are you aware that your lunch just became sentient?

See you tomorrow!

[Mat he/him]

I heard you invented a time machine?

It's... it's... on fire!

[NameIess]

Don't worry, this battle station is fully operational. Nothing to worry about at all. Are you worried? Why are you worried?

 

I swear, they all just died on their own. I had nothing to do with this.

 

[Illwei]

I need you to tell us again what you said you were doing in the middle of the store, surrounded by tens of bodies, holding a bloody sword?

Asparagus legs

Edited August 26, 2020 by Illwei