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Posted (edited)

Will you be joining us tomorrow at the pet store? We're going to spend the whole time petting bunnies!

I've been waiting for you to ask. It all started when I was seven. My older brother handed me a butterfly knife coated in butter..."

Edited by Scarletfox
Posted

Here you are, the Killer Chef. Famous for your cooking technique using dangerous weapons. How did you learn such a skill?

My, you flatter me, but believe me. Everything is possible when you lock up your obstacles in the basement.

Posted

You've accomplished so many impossible things. Do you have any advice?

I enjoy reading much more, but when I don't have a book, it's my second option.

Posted

Sir, the ultimate cure for any illness is behind that door and there's only 2 minutes left to get it. What are you waiting for?! 

How dare you? If it had been me who was born with a chicken feather on my face you would not be saying that. 

Posted

You look like you were driving in a convertible down the highway at a hundred miles per hour, and then got slapped in the face by a way-ward chicken!

I can never remember things these days, but I can say with 72% certainty that there were eighteen cows painting words on the side of that mountain!

Posted (edited)

“Here it is men! At long last, all that I’ve devoted my life to is finally coming true! It’s a string of fallen fairy light.

Gettouta ‘ere.

Edited by Truthless of Shinovar
Posted (edited)

Excuse me, sir, that's my arm you're holding.

HA! You wish!

Edited by DramaQueen
Posted
2 minutes ago, Spren of Kindness said:

Listen, lady, we can't legally let you climb that street lamp.  Would you come down please?

We've hedged in the enemy, so there's that.

 

And the purpose of planting all of these hedges was... what?

I might, if you're wearing a magenta frog on your head.

Posted (edited)

Excuse me, but I’ve heard you’re the resident fashion expert, could you tell me if this outfit is stylish enough for you to endorse? 
 

group of soldiers yelling in perfect unison: 

NO SIR!.........YES SIR!........UM, MAYBE, ERM, WE ARENT REALLY SURE SIR!

Edited by Danex
So this one needs 3 questions, one for each reply
Posted (edited)

Drill sergeant screaming

DO YOU KNOW WHY THERE IS PAINT ON THE WALLS?  IS EVERYONE HERE?  

WHERE THE BLOODY HECK DID THE MONGOOSE COME FROM?!

Anyway, I remembered you like blue.

Edited by Spren of Kindness
Posted

I... I'm speechless. You got me a... Sadeas patch. I asked for a BRIDGE FOUR PATCH. THAT IS LITERALLY THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT I WANTED.

 

Here it is! Your thirteen mile radius nulcear eradication device! oh, by the way, the timer's set to three minutes.

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