Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[Cinnamon]

36 minutes ago, Szeth's Facepalm said:

this school year has been very hard for me for a lot of reasons that i don't want to get into, and suddenly it's taken a serious toll. i was doing ok but now i'm not. i get so stressed all the time and i get bad stomach aches, which pretty much never happened till recently, and i'm so tired all the time because i have bad time management skills and i have to stay up late doing homework. i just have no idea how i am going to make it through the last 6 or 7 weeks of school, i feel like i've been driving a car since the school year started-- not particularly well, but progressively better and manageably-- but now i am suddenly out of gas and i literally don't know how i will make it to the end of the road because i am out of fricking gas and i can't move, i can't fricking lift my hands to take notes in biology class, and all i wanna do is just cry in bed all day.

hugs (and advice?) appreciated

*hugs* awww man, that sounds absolutely terrible ;-; *more hugs*

I don’t really have much advice but I can say that when I feel burnt out and absolutely have no motivation to do anything even things I love it can help if I remember that the most important step I can take is the next one, like Dalinar, and I have a good cru and try my very best to do lazy things I love, like watching musicals or tv shows I like or drawing and reading, things that hopefully don’t take too much effort and try to breathe. It doesn’t make it go away but it may help. Also if you’re in a place like biology where you can’t exactly do those things what I do is become someone else, someone who never shows or feels overwhelming emotions and is always calm and composed, channel your inner Jasnah, until you can go to the bathroom and cry. It may not be the best way to deal with it but, it helps me. I really hope you get some friends to push your car to the gas station. I’m sorry you feel this way, it sucks ):

Edited April 10, 2023 by Cinnamon
Petrol-> gas for the Americans

[Telrao she/her]

2 hours ago, Szeth's Facepalm said:

this school year has been very hard for me for a lot of reasons that i don't want to get into, and suddenly it's taken a serious toll. i was doing ok but now i'm not. i get so stressed all the time and i get bad stomach aches, which pretty much never happened till recently, and i'm so tired all the time because i have bad time management skills and i have to stay up late doing homework. i just have no idea how i am going to make it through the last 6 or 7 weeks of school, i feel like i've been driving a car since the school year started-- not particularly well, but progressively better and manageably-- but now i am suddenly out of gas and i literally don't know how i will make it to the end of the road because i am out of fricking gas and i can't move, i can't fricking lift my hands to take notes in biology class, and all i wanna do is just cry in bed all day.

hugs (and advice?) appreciated

*hugs*

Oh, that is not fun at all! If I could, I would crawl through this screen and give ya a big ol' hug. But my advice is:

It's okay to be out of gas sometimes. It's okay to cry, and it's okay to be tired. But guess what? The car isn't you. You control the car, you control your life. It's alright to take a rest day - heaven knows, you need it. But be careful not to let that rest day become a week. Set aside time (hard, I know) to take a break, go for a walk, play with your dog. Procrastination is a dangerous pit to fall in, and rest sits on that edge. But don't give up! Take a walk, breathe some air, then go back. Think it through. You actually work better when you work in short, sharp bursts with breaks in between. I forget what the method is called, but I do homework like this:

Set a 20 minute timer. Study for 20 minutes, take a 5 minute break - make tea, get up and walk for a little bit. Then sit back down and work for another 20 minutes, with another 5 minute break. And again. But instead of a 5 minute break, take a 10 minute one, then repeat the cycle. I've found that this really helps - and kinda solves the time management problem too!

*more hugs* You're amazing, Facepalm, and I hope you know that! Remember to breathe, get out of the car and walk. It's slower, for sure, but you'll get there in the end. *gives muffin*

[solarcat she/her]

7 hours ago, Robin Sedai said:

I think think this thread would be a pretty good fit. Remember though, most people here are literal teenagers (though very mature ones tbf) so I wouldn't take our advice too seriously.

lol I'm a teenager, so it's fine. 

[solarcat she/her]

7 hours ago, Szeth's Facepalm said:

this school year has been very hard for me for a lot of reasons that i don't want to get into, and suddenly it's taken a serious toll. i was doing ok but now i'm not. i get so stressed all the time and i get bad stomach aches, which pretty much never happened till recently, and i'm so tired all the time because i have bad time management skills and i have to stay up late doing homework. i just have no idea how i am going to make it through the last 6 or 7 weeks of school, i feel like i've been driving a car since the school year started-- not particularly well, but progressively better and manageably-- but now i am suddenly out of gas and i literally don't know how i will make it to the end of the road because i am out of fricking gas and i can't move, i can't fricking lift my hands to take notes in biology class, and all i wanna do is just cry in bed all day.

hugs (and advice?) appreciated

Soz do double post, but school has similarly been walking on me. I now kind of loathe history and the humanities in general. Last year I had so much more work, yet this year I have less and am slower to get it done because I see no point in it and my parentes made me pick up a sport. I like science and math since I don't have to sit there thinking about the perfect sentences to put on a paper (it's also more fun), and writing makes up a very large portion of the AP US history exam I'm going to take in less than a month. I guess realizing the monotony of waking up everyday to do the same thing gets to me now ei .

[Cash67]

9 hours ago, Szeth's Facepalm said:

this school year has been very hard for me for a lot of reasons that i don't want to get into, and suddenly it's taken a serious toll. i was doing ok but now i'm not. i get so stressed all the time and i get bad stomach aches, which pretty much never happened till recently, and i'm so tired all the time because i have bad time management skills and i have to stay up late doing homework. i just have no idea how i am going to make it through the last 6 or 7 weeks of school, i feel like i've been driving a car since the school year started-- not particularly well, but progressively better and manageably-- but now i am suddenly out of gas and i literally don't know how i will make it to the end of the road because i am out of fricking gas and i can't move, i can't fricking lift my hands to take notes in biology class, and all i wanna do is just cry in bed all day.

hugs (and advice?) appreciated

School is stressful. Know that a lot of the feeling you have are typical. I’ve gotten so stressed that I cry because of school. Multiple times! I don’t have any special advice to deal with the stress, but what has helped me is stepping back and making lists of what I need to accomplish, and then estimating how much time each thing takes. Seeing it all laid out helps me know that I will make it through. 
 

And that’s my second message. Yes it is hard. Yes it will be difficult. But you have enough strength to make it through. An end is in sight and we will all run beside you as you travel to the end, and celebrate with you when you reach it. 

[Edema Rue she/her]

10 hours ago, Szeth's Facepalm said:

this school year has been very hard for me for a lot of reasons that i don't want to get into, and suddenly it's taken a serious toll. i was doing ok but now i'm not. i get so stressed all the time and i get bad stomach aches, which pretty much never happened till recently, and i'm so tired all the time because i have bad time management skills and i have to stay up late doing homework. i just have no idea how i am going to make it through the last 6 or 7 weeks of school, i feel like i've been driving a car since the school year started-- not particularly well, but progressively better and manageably-- but now i am suddenly out of gas and i literally don't know how i will make it to the end of the road because i am out of fricking gas and i can't move, i can't fricking lift my hands to take notes in biology class, and all i wanna do is just cry in bed all day.

hugs (and advice?) appreciated

I'm so sorry, Facepalm. I definitely know the feeling. *hugs*

I don't know if your parents will let you, but if you aren't being productive at school, it can help to just take a day at home, to refill your metaphorical gas tank. Sometimes taking a break now can give you the strength to make it further later. It can also help to remember that school isn't everything; even if you somehow flunk every class and every test, your life isn't over. 

I don't know if any of this helps, but I'm here if you need anything. Good luck. *hugs*

[Cinnamon]

13 hours ago, solarcat said:

Soz do double post, but school has similarly been walking on me. I now kind of loathe history and the humanities in general. Last year I had so much more work, yet this year I have less and am slower to get it done because I see no point in it and my parentes made me pick up a sport. I like science and math since I don't have to sit there thinking about the perfect sentences to put on a paper (it's also more fun), and writing makes up a very large portion of the AP US history exam I'm going to take in less than a month. I guess realizing the monotony of waking up everyday to do the same thing gets to me now ei .

I’m sorry *hugs*

[solarcat she/her]

1 hour ago, Cinnamon said:

I’m sorry *hugs*

Hugs back* 

[Szeth's Facepalm]

Thank you guys so much for the hugs and advice :) I did a mostly good job getting homework done today using @Telrao's method, so I'll try really hard to keep that up till the end of the school year. Y'all are the best 

[Morningtide she/her]

12 minutes ago, Szeth's Facepalm said:

Thank you guys so much for the hugs and advice I did a mostly good job getting homework done today using @Telrao's method, so I'll try really hard to keep that up till the end of the school year. Y'all are the best 

You can do this! I believe in you! I'm glad you were able to get some stuff done. You've only got a few more weeks and you're going to crush them!!!

[Telrao she/her]

3 hours ago, Szeth's Facepalm said:

Thank you guys so much for the hugs and advice I did a mostly good job getting homework done today using @Telrao's method, so I'll try really hard to keep that up till the end of the school year. Y'all are the best 

Yayy! That's awesome, Facepalm! You got this  *throws muffins*

[Cinnamon]

4 hours ago, Szeth's Facepalm said:

Thank you guys so much for the hugs and advice I did a mostly good job getting homework done today using @Telrao's method, so I'll try really hard to keep that up till the end of the school year. Y'all are the best 

Good luck! You can do this! And always remember that past performance is not an indicator of future results. :D.

[S. Stormy she/her]

This isn't a big deal, but I just found out and it's really annoying me. My teacher gave me a 2 out of 4 on conventions on my essay(I usually get full marks there), and she did not give any comments other than saying there were nine errors. She also marked me down in another category. No other comments. How am I supposed to improve if I don't know what I did wrong?

I've sent her an email about it, so fingers crossed...

Edited April 11, 2023 by Shallan Stormblessed

[solarcat she/her]

Just now, Shallan Stormblessed said:

This isn't a big deal, but I just found out and it's really annoying me. My teacher gave me a 2 out of 4 on conventions on my essay(I usually get full marks there), and she did not give any comments other than saying there were nine errors. She also marked me down in another category. No other comments. How am I supposed to improve if I don't know what I did wrong?

I've sent her an email about it, so fingers crossed...

I hate it when that happens. Good luck

[shortcake thr/eat ka/boom]

51 minutes ago, Shallan Stormblessed said:

This isn't a big deal, but I just found out and it's really annoying me. My teacher gave me a 2 out of 4 on conventions on my essay(I usually get full marks there), and she did not give any comments other than saying there were nine errors. She also marked me down in another category. No other comments. How am I supposed to improve if I don't know what I did wrong?

I've sent her an email about it, so fingers crossed...

oof, yeah, that sounds annoying. hope it works out!

[Wittles he/him]

This is kind of a good bad thing.

I have not been feeling good mentally the past few days. I slept pretty much all day on Sunday, and I faked being physically sick so that I could stay home yesterday and today. My parents don't really consider mental health to be a good enough reason to stay home from school, but I had a borderline anxiety attack thinking about going to school on Monday so I think it's justified. I have a lot of homework that I am very VERY slowly making my way through and it's stressing me out. I was able to get a few assignments done yesterday so that's good. I'm working on an essay that was due like a week ago and I'm only halfway done, so I REALLY need to get going faster on that. But yesterday when I was wasting time on Youtube while kind of doing work during, I stumbled across a really interesting AU comic thing of one of my subconscious obsessions which really inspired some art stuffs. I also stumbled across a really amazing animated short film that gave me more motivation to work on character design and animation.

TLDR: Bad mental health days and stressful school stuff, but seeing cool animation and arts gave me some hope that there is still a way to make a career doing what I hope to do with my life. (animator)

[Just a Lifetime he/him]

On 4/10/2023 at 7:32 AM, Telrao said:

... You actually work better when you work in short, sharp bursts with breaks in between. I forget what the method is called, but I do homework like this:

Set a 20 minute timer. Study for 20 minutes, take a 5 minute break - make tea, get up and walk for a little bit. Then sit back down and work for another 20 minutes, with another 5 minute break. And again. But instead of a 5 minute break, take a 10 minute one, then repeat the cycle. I've found that this really helps - and kinda solves the time management problem too!

...

For those who might be curious, this method is called the Pomodoro Technique, for irrelevant historical reasons.  Formally, this technique incorporates an additional step that @Cash67 suggested:

On 4/10/2023 at 2:23 PM, Cash67 said:

...what has helped me is stepping back and making lists of what I need to accomplish, and then estimating how much time each thing takes. Seeing it all laid out helps me know that I will make it through...

The idea is to choose one item on the list to focus on during the 20/25-minute work session (commonly called a 'pom').  This can have two main benefits.  First, it helps avoid a common pitfall of spending the time bouncing around between various tasks without making much progress on any of them.  Second, if the work has been split up into pom-sized tasks (that is, tasks that take roughly 20--25 minutes to complete), you may be able to complete a task with each pom and cross it off the list.  This produces a surprisingly large psychological boost that can help promote a positive feedback loop (or 'virtuous cycle'), making you more eager to come back after the break and tackle the next task on the list --- rather than feeling like you're grinding through a big, scary, undifferentiated mass of work.

In practice, it can be very hard to estimate how much time a given task will take.  A third benefit of organizing your work into poms is that this can help reveal how long things really take, and help guide decisions about what are reasonable targets to set for each pom.

Sorry for the rant.  I've looked into a lot of productivity / time management / project management techniques over the years.  While I use poms pretty frequently, I tend to do so haphazardly, not bothering to split things up into pom-sized tasks and generally skipping the break at the end.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

One related comment that I hope might also be helpful is that time management may not be the real issue, but rather a symptom of low mood.  I recently listened to this podcast making this point, and suggesting that mindfulness as a method of mood management may be merited.  (Sorry, I find alliteration alluring.)

I hope y'all don't mind a non-teenager tossing in $0.02.  Though, to be fair, I remain a teenager in base-20.  (Base-20 is just like base-10, really, if you use your toes as well as your fingers.)  I also created my original account here in 2009, so I'm a teenager in that sense as well.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

I'm in a weird rut this evening.

I'm just...down. In a poor mood. I have stuff to do and can't focus.

I started reading a book today called How High We Go in the Dark. It is very depressing. Very good, yes, but depressing. It's sad. Sad things happen. It didn't help this at all. Probably the reason I'm like this right now...

It kind of all came down on me at once. The negative attitude, armed with the topics of the book and the craziness of the world, shifted my normally positive worldview into another focus that left me...I hesitate to use the word depressed, because I highly doubt this is the actual condition that some people suffer, but it's certainly how I felt.

My family was kind of crazy today. My dad's still out of town on an archeological excavation, and his presence helps stabilize us, makes it so crazy kids are a little more in line and things that need to get done get done. But he's not. My mother was stressed, and that transferred to me and my siblings, I think. One of them in particular was being highly uncooperative and exacerbated my situation further.

It kind of all hit me a few minutes ago. Hard enough that I actually cried. Which I don't normally do. Ever. The emotions kind of just...spilled out. There were a few other things here that I didn't mention, but they just added to it. Eventually it pushed me over.

I feel better now. Not good, but better. Kind of in the middle. Crying helped. Writing this has helped.

....You guys also must have magic powers because I'd normally not make myself so vulnerable like this, ranting about problems that are all in my head.

I....yeah. We'll see what happens next.

[Quivil]

*hugs*

stress is evil

and hugs sometimes help

maybe go find a sibling to hug?

Edited April 14, 2023 by Tani

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

9 minutes ago, The Bookwyrm said:

I'm in a weird rut this evening.

I'm just...down. In a poor mood. I have stuff to do and can't focus.

I started reading a book today called How High We Go in the Dark. It is very depressing. Very good, yes, but depressing. It's sad. Sad things happen. It didn't help this at all. Probably the reason I'm like this right now...

It kind of all came down on me at once. The negative attitude, armed with the topics of the book and the craziness of the world, shifted my normally positive worldview into another focus that left me...I hesitate to use the word depressed, because I highly doubt this is the actual condition that some people suffer, but it's certainly how I felt.

My family was kind of crazy today. My dad's still out of town on an archeological excavation, and his presence helps stabilize us, makes it so crazy kids are a little more in line and things that need to get done get done. But he's not. My mother was stressed, and that transferred to me and my siblings, I think. One of them in particular was being highly uncooperative and exacerbated my situation further.

It kind of all hit me a few minutes ago. Hard enough that I actually cried. Which I don't normally do. Ever. The emotions kind of just...spilled out. There were a few other things here that I didn't mention, but they just added to it. Eventually it pushed me over.

I feel better now. Not good, but better. Kind of in the middle. Crying helped. Writing this has helped.

....You guys also must have magic powers because I'd normally not make myself so vulnerable like this, ranting about problems that are all in my head.

I....yeah. We'll see what happens next.

Depression comes in various means and strengths it could be very well that you are temporarily depressed, but I digress.

That's rough, stress is rough on the body and soul.

If you need a friend for anything, ranting, memes, pick me up, just to listen. Anything at all, you know how to contact me.

We are here for you and we love you Bookwyrm.

*Hugs*

[Immortal Platypus]

34 minutes ago, The Bookwyrm said:

I'm in a weird rut this evening.

I'm just...down. In a poor mood. I have stuff to do and can't focus.

I started reading a book today called How High We Go in the Dark. It is very depressing. Very good, yes, but depressing. It's sad. Sad things happen. It didn't help this at all. Probably the reason I'm like this right now...

It kind of all came down on me at once. The negative attitude, armed with the topics of the book and the craziness of the world, shifted my normally positive worldview into another focus that left me...I hesitate to use the word depressed, because I highly doubt this is the actual condition that some people suffer, but it's certainly how I felt.

My family was kind of crazy today. My dad's still out of town on an archeological excavation, and his presence helps stabilize us, makes it so crazy kids are a little more in line and things that need to get done get done. But he's not. My mother was stressed, and that transferred to me and my siblings, I think. One of them in particular was being highly uncooperative and exacerbated my situation further.

It kind of all hit me a few minutes ago. Hard enough that I actually cried. Which I don't normally do. Ever. The emotions kind of just...spilled out. There were a few other things here that I didn't mention, but they just added to it. Eventually it pushed me over.

I feel better now. Not good, but better. Kind of in the middle. Crying helped. Writing this has helped.

....You guys also must have magic powers because I'd normally not make myself so vulnerable like this, ranting about problems that are all in my head.

I....yeah. We'll see what happens next.

*hugs*

hey man. it happens. I've experienced the magic of the Shard in vulnerability. If it gets better, great! if it doesn't, I'm sure everyone here would be happy to help. I just spent about an hour today looking at controversial topics and just ranting it all out in a Google Doc and I feel sooooooo much better now. I also don't remember the last time I cried, but this seems like a fine reason to. It helps, and we're all here for you.

*hugs again*

*whispers* "@Telrao come use your wordsing powers to help our friend"

[Telrao she/her]

On 12/04/2023 at 4:39 AM, Wittles of Shinovar said:

This is kind of a good bad thing.

I have not been feeling good mentally the past few days. I slept pretty much all day on Sunday, and I faked being physically sick so that I could stay home yesterday and today. My parents don't really consider mental health to be a good enough reason to stay home from school, but I had a borderline anxiety attack thinking about going to school on Monday so I think it's justified. I have a lot of homework that I am very VERY slowly making my way through and it's stressing me out. I was able to get a few assignments done yesterday so that's good. I'm working on an essay that was due like a week ago and I'm only halfway done, so I REALLY need to get going faster on that. But yesterday when I was wasting time on Youtube while kind of doing work during, I stumbled across a really interesting AU comic thing of one of my subconscious obsessions which really inspired some art stuffs. I also stumbled across a really amazing animated short film that gave me more motivation to work on character design and animation.

TLDR: Bad mental health days and stressful school stuff, but seeing cool animation and arts gave me some hope that there is still a way to make a career doing what I hope to do with my life. (animator)

Dude, bad mental health days are never fun *hugs* I'm so happy you've found inspiration with animation! I have so much admiration for those artists - and I think you've got a pretty bright future  So hold on, my friend! I hope you're doing better today!

2 hours ago, The Bookwyrm said:

 

Bookwyrm, I am so, so sorry you have to go through this.

Personally, I have the problem of bottling up my emotions. I kinda put them into a cupboard in the back of my mind. Anger, frustration, anxiety, sadness. In the cupboard it goes. Then, when I least expect it, the doors burst open, flooding my mind with jumbled thoughts and emotions so that I can hardly breathe.

It's stressful, too, when a loved one - especially a parent, and especially the mediator of the family - is away. And when your siblings get snappy, you snap back, everyone starts arguing, and the parent that is remaining is so stressed she can't maintain that calm demeanour anymore - that encouraging, soft demeanour that kept you from bursting into tears the night before.

I am so, so thankful, Bookwyrm, that you feel some relief from typing this out. This helps for me too - and we both have another comfort to turn to. And that is God's word.

Whenever I am anxious, need to wind down, or am panicking, I pray. Not even in words - just sitting in God's presence and letting it wash over me, and take with it my anxiety. If I have my Bible, I sit down and open the Psalms. And sometimes, I'm surprised to find that they address my worries - maybe not exactly, but similar enough to have me gasp in surprise, and cry with joy.

Here are a couple of Psalms that really help me:

Psalm 89: 8-9

Spoiler

⁸ Who is like you, Lord God Almighty?
    You, Lord, are mighty, and your faithfulness surrounds you.

⁹ You rule over the surging sea;
    when its waves mount up, you still them.

This is a reminder that God is more powerful than anything the world can throw at us. No matter what emotions roil within us, or what situations we face, God is there to still the storm inside.

Psalm 91

Spoiler

¹ Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.^[a]
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”

³ Surely he will save you
    from the fowler’s snare
    and from the deadly pestilence.
⁴ He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
⁵ You will not fear the terror of night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
⁶ nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
    nor the plague that destroys at midday.
⁷ A thousand may fall at your side,
    ten thousand at your right hand,
    but it will not come near you.
⁸ You will only observe with your eyes
    and see the punishment of the wicked.

⁹ If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
    and you make the Most High your dwelling,
¹⁰ no harm will overtake you,
    no disaster will come near your tent.
¹¹ For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
¹² they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
¹³ You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
    you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

¹⁴ “Because he^[b] loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
¹⁵ He will call on me, and I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble,
    I will deliver him and honor him.
¹⁶ With long life I will satisfy him
    and show him my salvation.”

This one is short and sweet, but reiterates the same point. When we dwell in His presence, we can feel his comfort wiping away our tears and worries. Like a mother hen protecting her chicks, the Lord spreads his wings over us. That does not mean we won't feel the cold, we won't shiver in the rain, but it means we can look up and smile, no matter what is thrown at us.

Sorry for letting this get too long! We all cherish and value you, my friend, and I thank you for letting yourself be open with us! I hope all is well soon *hugs*

[InfiniteInsanity she/her]

I have been an almost constant state of anxiety for over 24 hours now. I've tried everything that I know to do and nothing works. I get short breaks and then it's back and it's stronger. I've lost my words and can't see to find them so I'm just sort of lost and I don't know what to do. I'm exhausted because this means I don't get much sleep.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

15 minutes ago, InfiniteInsanity said:

I have been an almost constant state of anxiety for over 24 hours now. I've tried everything that I know to do and nothing works. I get short breaks and then it's back and it's stronger. I've lost my words and can't see to find them so I'm just sort of lost and I don't know what to do. I'm exhausted because this means I don't get much sleep.

*Hugs*

I'm sorry, that sounds awful. Have you tried listening to some music? That could maybe help.

[shortcake thr/eat ka/boom]

26 minutes ago, InfiniteInsanity said:

I have been an almost constant state of anxiety for over 24 hours now. I've tried everything that I know to do and nothing works. I get short breaks and then it's back and it's stronger. I've lost my words and can't see to find them so I'm just sort of lost and I don't know what to do. I'm exhausted because this means I don't get much sleep.

when ever i get anxious, I sing church hymns in my head. sometimes, if im alone, i'll sing them out loud. it helps me calm down. i know you like to sing, so maybe that could help? i wish i could help more *hugs* i hope it gets better <3