Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[Immortal Platypus]

1 hour ago, Wittles of Shinovar said:

The fact that I don't think "right" is a fact that is being driven deep into the core of my being and it causes so much pain.

I can't learn "right"

I can't organize "right"

I can't communicate "right"

Logically, I know this isn't true, that it can't be true. I know that there's no "right" way, and that it's okay that I do things differently

But I can't believe that when the most common thing I've internalized from every teacher and authority figure I've had is that I'm lazy and disrespectful and I'm not doing things the right way

I hate myself. I hate the fact that I'm just wrong. I feel like I shouldn't have problems because I'm supposed to be strong and I'm supposed to choose to be better. 

Gosh I hate it when my parents tell me "you choose your attitude" Or "You're the only one who controls how you feel"

If that was true, then am I just not supposed to feel sadness when someone I love dies? Am I supposed to not feel fear when I'm up until four a.m. listening to my parents fight? 

Even if that wasn't a problem, I'm sure as hell not supposed to show emotions. If I show anger, I get in trouble. If I share how I really feel to my parents, it's never their fault they make me feel like I'm not enough, it's mine. It's always my fault. 

All of my problems are, or at least feel like they are completely my fault, and I should just be doing better and working harder. I feel like everything I'm feeling is awful and I shouldn't feel it and I'm a bad person for having a decent life and still feeling like a waste of space.

I'm so tired of life. 

Anyway, I just needed to get some feelings out here. I'm not really having a great time right now

wow. I feel bad for thinking i have it hard now.

But in all seriousness, that's hard. I don't know if I can say anything Eddie didn't already say so... Hope you get through it. We love you!

[Aluin_Demonz she/her]

*hugs for everyone *

[Shadowed they/them]

idk if there’s anyone on here who can relate but i’m having a slight crisis atm in that i’m pretty sure i’m some form of not neurotypical. (specifically autism + maybe inattentive adhd.) except there’s no chance of me ever getting diagnosed with anything because i mask all the signs of it because social acceptance (and i’ve basically built my entire personality and self worth around being the perfect daughter who studies hard and gets good grades and is always quiet but fine at home, so telling my parents would mean shattering all of that, which i’ve spent a LOT of time and energy on, and i don’t think i’m prepared to do that). at school, everything is really hard all the time and i can’t socialise like everyone else and i get sensory overload a lot and why do some people not just leave you alone when you clearly need it. this has been going on for a while and i think i’m starting to reach some kind of breaking point where one day i’ll just snap and not be able to function at all. does anyone have any advice for avoiding complete burnout?

sorry, that wasn’t meant to go that long and probably made no sense, feel free to ignore my ramblings 

Edited September 15, 2023 by Shadowed

[Experience he/him]

40 minutes ago, Shadowed said:

idk if there’s anyone on here who can relate but i’m having a slight crisis atm in that i’m pretty sure i’m some form of not neurotypical. (specifically autism + maybe inattentive adhd.) except there’s no chance of me ever getting diagnosed with anything because i mask all the signs of it because social acceptance (and i’ve basically built my entire personality and self worth around being the perfect daughter who studies hard and gets good grades and is always quiet but fine at home, so telling my parents would mean shattering all of that, which i’ve spent a LOT of time and energy on, and i don’t think i’m prepared to do that). at school, everything is really hard all the time and i can’t socialise like everyone else and i get sensory overload a lot and why do some people not just leave you alone when you clearly need it. this has been going on for a while and i think i’m starting to reach some kind of breaking point where one day i’ll just snap and not be able to function at all. does anyone have any advice for avoiding complete burnout?

sorry, that wasn’t meant to go that long and probably made no sense, feel free to ignore my ramblings 

You ain't the only one!

Talking about it has helped me the most. I'm not really one to talk to my parents about my feelings, but I do have one friend that I just tell everything and that has helped me immensely.

Also cuz you're in this thread...

*hugs*

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

Having an addiction- sucks. its so bad, its like being stuck in a rut and not being able to move out. I've struggled for 6 years. 6 years of trying to outrun something that always catches up to you somehow. good god, ive gone insane, and i dont know how to move on, and i know how to, but im trying to move it on. and its not working. and besides, my friend knows someone whos running away from home, and now im all sad, and i have no idea how to act- 

my apologies, thats hard to read.

[Experience he/him]

7 minutes ago, TheRavenHasLanded said:

Having an addiction- sucks. its so bad, its like being stuck in a rut and not being able to move out. I've struggled for 6 years. 6 years of trying to outrun something that always catches up to you somehow. good god, ive gone insane, and i dont know how to move on, and i know how to, but im trying to move it on. and its not working. and besides, my friend knows someone whos running away from home, and now im all sad, and i have no idea how to act- 

my apologies, thats hard to read.

Do people know about it? Have you talked to anyone about it?

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

yes, yes, yes. ive done basically everything except STOP-

[Wittles he/him]

48 minutes ago, TheRavenHasLanded said:

Having an addiction- sucks. its so bad, its like being stuck in a rut and not being able to move out. I've struggled for 6 years. 6 years of trying to outrun something that always catches up to you somehow. good god, ive gone insane, and i dont know how to move on, and i know how to, but im trying to move it on. and its not working. and besides, my friend knows someone whos running away from home, and now im all sad, and i have no idea how to act- 

my apologies, thats hard to read.

Addiction is awful, and I'm so sorry that it's something you have to deal with, in any form. 

Some advice I have learned from personal experiences with people close to me who have suffered through addiction is to first of all, let yourself be okay with who you were last year, or last month or even just yesterday. Be okay with knowing that you have done less than ideal things, and accept that that was part of who you were, but that you can move on and become stronger because of it. Secondly, be in the present. Don't worry about what happened yesterday, don't worry about what might happen tomorrow, focus on just getting through one day. 

Sorry for the unsolicited advice. This is just the kind of issue that immediately makes me want to help because it's something I have a lot of sympathy for. 

I hope you know that even if you have almost daily relapses, that you are still worthy of becoming better and still worthy of appreciation and love. *hugs*

If you want to talk about it more, you can PM me about it. However long it takes, I know you can beat this.

Spoiler

Sorry if advice really isn't something you wanted to hear. Feel free to completely ignore me

 

Edited September 15, 2023 by Wittles of Shinovar

[Cinnamon]

6 hours ago, Shadowed said:

idk if there’s anyone on here who can relate but i’m having a slight crisis atm in that i’m pretty sure i’m some form of not neurotypical. (specifically autism + maybe inattentive adhd.) except there’s no chance of me ever getting diagnosed with anything because i mask all the signs of it because social acceptance (and i’ve basically built my entire personality and self worth around being the perfect daughter who studies hard and gets good grades and is always quiet but fine at home, so telling my parents would mean shattering all of that, which i’ve spent a LOT of time and energy on, and i don’t think i’m prepared to do that). at school, everything is really hard all the time and i can’t socialise like everyone else and i get sensory overload a lot and why do some people not just leave you alone when you clearly need it. this has been going on for a while and i think i’m starting to reach some kind of breaking point where one day i’ll just snap and not be able to function at all. does anyone have any advice for avoiding complete burnout?

sorry, that wasn’t meant to go that long and probably made no sense, feel free to ignore my ramblings 

I know what it feels like to be hiding your actual feelings, worries and true self from family/friends. My advice would be to find someone that you can talk to, maybe a group of people but one should be ok. Perhaps a fellow neuro-divergent or just someone who can listen and be yourself around them, make sure they can be themselves around you too. It might be hard to find anybody you trust enough or scary to break the mask but it’s worth it and slowly releases the pressure. Remember to love yourself because there are people who love you and I sincerely hope you can figure things out <3 *hugs*

4 hours ago, TheRavenHasLanded said:

Having an addiction- sucks. its so bad, its like being stuck in a rut and not being able to move out. I've struggled for 6 years. 6 years of trying to outrun something that always catches up to you somehow. good god, ive gone insane, and i dont know how to move on, and i know how to, but im trying to move it on. and its not working. and besides, my friend knows someone whos running away from home, and now im all sad, and i have no idea how to act- 

my apologies, thats hard to read.

I’m really sorry. That’s an awful way to feel. *hugs* I wish you the very best in all your endeavours and hope that you will make it through all this stuff :/ *more hugs* 

[The Isochronism he/him]

On 9/15/2023 at 2:00 PM, TheRavenHasLanded said:

yes, yes, yes. ive done basically everything except STOP-

I'm sorry. 

Let me tell you a secret though. People don't change quickly. I think sometimes as humans we forget that--- I know I do. We all want so desperately to change, that we are willing to put our faith in anything that will give us a better chance of change then we have on our own. I suspect that's why people buy lottery tickets, even when the odds are enormously against them. We're so dang tired of trying to change over and over and over and over again, and failing every time. And so we stop putting faith in ourselves to change, and instead invest that faith into something else. Like, for example, a lottery ticket. I've asked myself many times before, "will I ever be able to change?"

I was feeling really discouraged one day when I saw a statistic from the CDC saying that 71% of smokers want to quit every year, but only about 7% actually are able to quit. I mean, if anything proves that we can't change, it's that. But then I kept digging, and found something really interesting. Of past and present smokers currently living in the united states, about 70% are past smokers, and only 30% are current smokers. Think about that for a second. About 71% of smokers want to quit each year, and even though it doesn't look like it's even worth seeing when you look at those statistics for a year, when you compare that to a lifetime, the results are quite the opposite. 70% of smokers have quit, and 71% have wanted to.

Please believe me when I say: You can change. It will take time. if you wanted to bet on something that would change you today, or tomorrow or right now, then honestly... you'd probably have better luck with the lottery ticket. But if you labor a little while longer, then slowly you will change.

Best wishes, you have my confidence in you, and my prayers. 

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

am i allowed to do a happy vent?

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

25 minutes ago, TheRavenHasLanded said:

am i allowed to do a happy vent?

Ya though there's also a thread for that if you wish to put it there instead 

Edit: This one

 

 

Edited September 19, 2023 by The Wandering Wizard

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

All this college stuff is hard.

[Immortal Platypus]

37 minutes ago, The Bookwyrm said:

All this college stuff is hard.

and now I feel young. *hugs* It'll be ok Bookwyrm. What're you taking? Astronomy stuff?

[Edema Rue she/her]

1 hour ago, The Bookwyrm said:

All this college stuff is hard.

Keep breathing. There are more important things than this moment, this class, this struggle. It isn't eternal.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

7 hours ago, Being of Cacophony said:

and now I feel young. *hugs* It'll be ok Bookwyrm. What're you taking? Astronomy stuff?

 

6 hours ago, Edema Rue said:

Keep breathing. There are more important things than this moment, this class, this struggle. It isn't eternal.

Applications, not actual college.

[Immortal Platypus]

2 hours ago, The Bookwyrm said:

 

Applications, not actual college.

oh, I thought I wasn't that much younger than you! ugh, I'm not looking forward to that in a few years. Good luck, you'll get accepted pretty much wherever if your liking of astronomy translates to academics.

[Edema Rue she/her]

4 hours ago, The Bookwyrm said:

 

Applications, not actual college.

That still sounds terrifying. You can get through it, though.

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!

[Lego Mistborn he/him]

5 hours ago, The Bookwyrm said:

 

Applications, not actual college.

You could be like me and put it off for far too long.

Don't be like me. Unless you're going to serve your mission first thing before college.

Just take it slow and easy. Ask people, especially teachers, what they find most impressive about you. You'll get there, and you'll have an outstanding application.

P.S. Where are you applying, may I ask(even if you PM me for privacy)?

Edited September 26, 2023 by Lego Mistborn

[Immortal Platypus]

6 minutes ago, [Redacted] said:

My friend has become a fairly big deal on the shard and I want to join them so I stop feeling left out every time they talk about what they're doing on here, but every time I think I have a good idea on here they pretty much say it's a bad one and I take it down. I realize that's kind of a bad complaint, but I just don't want to keep feeling stupid when he has to keep explaining why whatever I want to do won't work.

well, don't listen to them. I'm sure they're great ideas! Or you could join us crazies in TLT and TLPW in FGaRS. We have fun! But I digress; if you want to get into the shard more, feel free too! We don't mock, we just sometimes offer constructive criticism.

[-Redacted- he/him]

Well thanks!

Wait you're president of the anti-shallan republic? How do I become a citizen?

[Immortal Platypus]

1 minute ago, [Redacted] said:

Well thanks!

Wait you're president of the anti-shallan republic? How do I become a citizen?

you ask!

[-Redacted- he/him]

can I be a citizen of the anti-shallan republic?

[Immortal Platypus]

1 minute ago, [Redacted] said:

can I be a citizen of the anti-shallan republic?

ABSOLUTELY!