Little_Dagger

I would like a spot next week as well, please!

Hello! First off, I like the lightness of style: there is just enough description of the characters and the setting to paint a mental picture but then focus attention on the plot. The only two characterizations that fell short for me were "definitely not like anyone" for T, and the description of the tailor, who just looked so much as a typical tailor that he barely seemed to need a description at all. I do not mind starting with a dream, but it was confusing when it was not remembered. I suspect something will trigger R's memory of it later, but at the moment if feels odd. I liked the MidWinter Ball promise and am looking forward to "the something spectacular" that hopefully R will get to wear. Also, while on the topic of clothes, wearing only the cloak and measuring the inside of the thigh seem rather exposing. I am not sure how I feel about Z and R relationship in this chapter. It is great to see them being so close (I love the special language and teasing), but the kissing on the forehead part seemed a bit too much for two teeneagers. I will not point out the grammatical mistakes, since most have already been mentioned above. Overall, a great read and thank you for the summary of the first book. I would be quite lost in the names otherwise.

Hello, thank you for sharing these chapters! Here are my thoughts: Pg 1 Last phrase in the first paragraph sounds weird - I got the idea, but I read it twice to do so - I was intrigued by the transition from ponds, classmates and flowers to blood - kid's movie should probably be a cartoon - l loved the dream to nightmare turn Pg 2 "so he is connected" should probably be "that he is connected" Pg 3 "He’s right that" - A did not say anything about what is best - why is W pointing A in the direction of the coyotes when he is looking for wolves? Was she mistaken in her initial identification of them, or did she just lie to A? - I was confused by the glitter on the clothes that W somehow never questions or notices again - also, seeing a cute boy and immediately getting from a nightmare to a dream felt a bit blunt Pg 6 carrying the world seemed like hell of a compliment for a highschool boy Pg 9 I like the touch with the personalized cards - a nice characterization Pg 14 confused about "looking at the stores around the area". W is not new to the place - unlike N - so it is a strange thing for him to ask Pg 15 not sure I understood the "bloody schisms" phrase - "dangerous America" seems like a generalization Pg 11-14 amma is very submissive to W's prods, the information comes too easily for a mystery Pg 17 - "another way" comes out of nowhere Pg 18 - nice hook with the cure General thoughts: I enjoyed the read, it was easy to follow and the voice of the main character is distinct. I found myself wishing that there was someone "normal" among the cast to offset everyone else's tragic past or present, or individual characteristics. The latter would be more colorful that way. Looking forward to read further! I did not see your previous draft, but I am excited by this story

You forget the Zahel friendship bond - gets the owner access to a bunch color-related phrases they do understand and a pillow fight with Adolin's laundry.

@CalanoCorvus Yay, we got some romance in the thread! Very cute @Gregorio Interesting idea with the recordings, immediately increases the level of curiosity about what is going on. Here is mine for today: I think I am getting better at keeping things short, haha 1/19/23 - Stars Keep Secrets

Alright, I am going to cheat slightly for this one, because I have already written something that fits perfectly for the promt a while ago. It is one of the first chapters from a Stormlight Archives fanfic I wrote a month ago, so STORMLIGHT SPOILERS!!! It takes place right after the Everstorm, so between the second and third books. I would appreciate both feedback on this chapter, and the entire story (posted here) if you do not mind a longer read There is also a pdf version available there. 1/18/23 Plant

@Witless of Shinovar My pleasure! Thank you for the story! @The Aspiring Archivist Thanks for the feedback! I am glad you found something to relate to in it Here is my feedback for your stories: The Cycle Resets: I liked the gradations of "dead" in the story - it was interesting to see how Johd though of himself as a dead man until he actually became one. There is a dark irony in that. I will admit I did not understand the purpose of the government project: why keep them on the island for a year, drop of food and supplies, but not extract any obvious service from the 'prisoners'? Why replace them with others? Perhaps, I just want to know more. An Old Relic: I think you built the suspense in this one very well. Both with the time stamps, and with the die's continuous intervention. I think I expected his son to roll four in the end (instead of Pine rolling two) to mean "That is how old Ash was when his parents would die in the fire". It would lead to a very dark realization moment on Pine's part. You were not so blood-thirsty, haha. A Treasured Curse: I couldn't help but think of Zane in Mistborn! (not going to say more in case you haven't read the series), but it was beautifully done. I liked the language and the flow the most here, despite the darkness that laced every word. In general, thanks for sharing! I would be curious to see you writing something light and humorous, fun

@Aes Sedai I liked the interpretation of home as Earth, as the entire planet. As someone who is interested in the issue of the climate crisis, it is a view I wish more people shared. @Gregorio I like the banter, the dynamic you have between the two characters, though I felt like the mentioning of girls in the middle of a "my friend is dying" scene might read a bit crude. I would have enjoyed it better if it were later in the conversation. @Witless of Shinovar Bitter-sweet and raw, I liked it. Why was the ring iron and steel? I know it is common for iron to repel evil creatures, so was it also intended as an amulet of sorts? 1/18/23 - Far from Home

Keep continuing the story until we know what the hell is wrong with those wolves!

I liked the feel of the story, and thanks for the musical recommendation! I know I am late to the party, but I liked the prompt so here is my not-so-short story (I am really bad at writing anything short, haha). Also, I wanted to add some light to the forlorn mood, so here you go 1/17/23 - I should have

I like that you tried a different style and I like your other stories. Do you often write?

Is this a Wayne story? I get his vibe from it

I hope it will not remain a mystery forever. It is too cool of a world to never return to in the future books

Xisis had to chose the sea bottom as a residence for a reason. Perhaps, his guess is the same as yours.

This is so NOT where I expected it to go, but it absolutely worked for me. It explains why Rashek kept Alendi's logbook after all these years, and the narrative expands on its entries beautifully! Just beautifully! I did not like the "lock and key" phrase, because it is deeply associated with Sazed's conversation about Vin and Elend in my mind (though perhaps, in my mind only. Were it not in the context of this series, I wouldn't look twice). I did like how different and yet similar these characters are. I can see Alendi doing exactly the same thing to Rashek if the places were switched. Perhaps, without the nationalistic tension, but certainly for the perceived 'greater good'. Thanks for sharing! It was a great read!

I thought the hanging crystals around the house are salt to keep the spores from getting inside, though the way it is depicted, it does not strike me as a very efficient way.

I had the same thought! The comments on "dramatic irony" and such are very Alcatraz-like, and so are the multiple puns. But I think Hoid's narration is more intelligent, both mentally and emotionally, so the two styles are different enough for me in this case.

Thank you for sharing, I loved to see Mare, Kelsier and Marsh together, before our story began. It is sad that Marsh never got to see the yellow sun, as he wishes in this story. What does the Sun look like to an inquisitor, anyway?

@Oltux72 I realize that Rysn would have to be several hundred years old by the time of the story, but considering that she is holding a Dawnshard, it doesn't seem impossible at all. The two people we know to hold one (Hoid and Sigzil) both do not age normally, so perhaps neither does she. I am not British. Can you explain why Charles III and the title of King's Wit are connected?

My theory is that Hoid is telling the story to Rysn. First, the audience should be from Roshar, since no one else would understand the title of King's Wit. Second, Ryan owns a ship and would relate to nautical references. Third, she holds a dawnshard, so it is reasonable to suggest that Hoid would decide to talk to her at some point. As for the Aviars, we have seen two on Roshar already, and since the story probably happens in the second half of Stormlight series, spaceships make sense as well.

I love this post! I have struggled with my mental image of Kaladin as well because of this and in the end decided to place the slave brands on his temples, so that they could be covered by a more decent haircut. I can survive that change easier than bangs

I have an Audible subscription too and love the service. I hope they reconsider they pricing policy (40% for the creator is incredibly, almost scandalously, little)

I read everything Brandon writes, but reread only Cosmere

Thank you for asking! I have been wondering the same thing. I thought I have read everything there was to read by Brandon but started doubting that when I didn't get the joke, haha