The Battle for the Sandwich

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

Detecting the presence of a discreet line, I pull out my graphing calculator, which is also a poison detector. Realizing that the food is drugged, I ring up the waiter and deploy my ultimate weapon: Senile Gothi!

Bonus points if you get the reference.

[Immortal Platypus]

Sniffing the pizza, Platypus quickly realizes that... it wasn't drugged? Apparently Sequence didn't drug it because she didn't consider it food? Then he picks it up, looks at it, and does the most reliable test.

"Hey Nerdy, you want a slice of pizza?"

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

"Wait, is there meat on it? I'm lacto-ovo vegetarian."

[Edema Rue she/her]

The Caterpillar vaporized into a small pile of ashes.

[Immortal Platypus]

"Waiter!!!! I'm going to have to leave a bad review about your restaurant!!! My acquaintance just died and turned into ashes!!!!!!!! We need more than an ambulance!!! And probably free food too!"

[AltonicKeys he/him]

I bring a physically bottomless basket of garlic breadsticks. All is well in the world.

[Immortal Platypus]

Platypus asks for some breadsticks, with extra salt and garlic.

[NameIess]

I come out of the back and sweep the Caterpillar’s ashes into a really nice urn. Then I give you all a plate of delicious chouta, delivered fresh from the Horneater peaks.

[Edema Rue she/her]

Grateful for the really nice urn, The Caterpillar's spirit fills the room with a sense of peace before dissipating for good. 

[Immortal Platypus]

Platypus smiles. "Okay. I won't leave a bad review."

[NameIess]

I express gratitude, then retreat to the kitchen to figure out why Sequence didn’t successfully knock everyone unconscious so we could steal the sandwich.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I telepathically explain that this was in part due to the Sandwich being in a safe stolen by the Shadows. I go on to explain that they haven't opened it yet, and I finally request food that isn't drugged.

[NameIess]

I apologize for my failed plan and bring out non-drugged food for everyone.

[Immortal Platypus]

Platypus quickly consumed some chouta.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I also eat the non-drugged food.

[NameIess]

I laugh maniacally as your dead bodies slump to the floor as a result of the poison I placed in the non-drugged food. “Sequence, Shadows, our plan worked! Now all we have to do is do that ritual to use Platypus’s soul to open the box!”

@Sequence @EmulatonStromenkiin

[Immortal Platypus]

"But you forgot one thing!" Platypus shouts from the floor. "I already injected myself with anti-poison. I'm immune to poison now!"

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

"Also, poisoned food still counts as drugged food!" I shout, rising again from the logical inconsistency. I then leave the restaurant with a bad review.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

While Sequence was making the drugged food, she absent-mindedly tasted some to make sure she got the recipe right and was now slumped on the floor of the kitchen, snoring softly.

Edited March 10, 2023 by Sequence

[NameIess]

I sigh, disappointed that my plan has fallen apart so quickly. Then I stab Platypus with a soul-stealing dagger, summon the sandwich safe using the teleportation spell I placed on it earlier, and book it out the side entrance before anyone can stop me.

[Immortal Platypus]

The dagger has no effect on Platypus. You think he has a soul? He is devoting his life to a sandwich! He doesn't have a soul.

Platypus, instead of falling to the floor, dead, runs after you.

[EmulatonStromenkiin he/him]

The shadows trip Platypus, causing him to fall into an improbability pit

[Immortal Platypus]

It was a two inch crack in the floor. He quickly got out and caught up to the sandwich-holder.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

I, having been waiting for this chance, attack Nameless and take the sandwich. I chant as I run, trying to teleport.

[Immortal Platypus]

I quickly finish my On-the-go-anti-teleport device TM and catch up to Thaidakar. I take the sandwich using deception.