The Battle for the Sandwich

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

I, realizing the deception, turn into the hulk and slam you into the wall. I take the sandwich and jump onto the roof.

[Immortal Platypus]

Stopping because of the wall, get mad and jump onto the roof. I Reverse Lash the sandwich and it flies out of your hands into mine. I continue jumping buildings to get away.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

I curse you,  but keep running. I smile as I feel the real sandwich in my pocket. The Clone-inator was cooling down in my other pocket.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

I then jumped out of your pocket with the Sandwich in my arms, as I had been hiding there because physics. I then smash through the window of a house and run to the garage, where a Bugatti Veyron awaits. I drive away at the speed of light, also because physics.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

I, using science, made the car turn into a car wreck. I arrive with a dramatic turn of the music, pluck the sandwich out of your hands and get on the jet that I'd borrowed from the president of the US.

[Immortal Platypus]

I chuckle suspiciously. You turn, wondering how I got in the jet, and when you don't see me, you turn back. By the time you turn back, you notice that the sandwich is gone. What you don't know is that Platypus took it.

[NameIess]

I summon the power of the ancients to steal the sandwich from Platypus. Then I place it in the center of a massive labyrinth that has protections against summoning and teleportation magic.

[Immortal Platypus]

Platypus runs into the labyrinth. Walking through the walls, he reaches the center and prepares to take a bite.

[NameIess]

The sandwich promptly disappears, upset that Platypus cheated.

[Immortal Platypus]

Platypus gets it back by pointing out that he didn't break the rules so he didn't cheat.

[NameIess]

The labyrinth points out that it doesn’t care, and judges cheating purely based on its own subjective values.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

Nerdy points out that a subjective set of values hardly makes for a fair and reasonable definition of cheating, then palms the sandwich while nobody is looking.

[Immortal Platypus]

Platypus shakes Nerdy's hand for helping him with his case. While doing that, he takes the sandwich.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

Nerdy wonders how Platypus took the sandwich while shaking hands. Concluding that platypus must be an excellent pickpocket, Nerdy gets a school of divination wizard to come in and cast suggestion on Platypus to make him hand over the sandwich. Because School of Divination is ludicrously unbalanced, the wizard uses their portent feature to replace Platypus's saving throw with a nat 1.

[Immortal Platypus]

But Platypus was a fighter class, and can't roll ones. He used a homebrew system that overuled the part of that ability that makes it so normal fighters can roll critical fails, so it worked.

[Telrao she/her]

A cytonic cat teleported in, stole the sandwich, and teleported somewhere else, giggling insanely to herself.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

I, who had shrunk down to the size of a flea and had been hiding in the cat's long fluffy fur, jumped out and returned to my original size. I quickly snatched the sandwich, replacing it for one of those gourmet kitty meal things that come in a can. I pet the cat's head and then ran off with the Sandwich.

[Immortal Platypus]

My cytonic tracker lets me catch up to the cat. I see sequence running of, and chase her down. I take the sandwich, run away, and enable my cytonic-disabler.

[Stick The Savant]

I eagerly look at the sandwich , ready to take a bite, when suddenly, a group of 4 armed men in suits show up in front of me.

Edited March 13, 2023 by Stick The Savant

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

They worked for me. They took the Sandwich from Stick and from Platypus, since nobody was quite sure who had it at the moment. They then gave it to me.

[Immortal Platypus]

I walked over to sequence, and pointed out that she owed me a favor since my ally gave it to her earlier. Convinced by my logic, she gives me the sandwich, and I prepare to take a bite.

[Edema Rue she/her]

And then you hear a disembodied voice asking you if you really want to do that.

[Immortal Platypus]

On 10/19/2022 at 1:47 PM, AltonicKeys said:

The game is simple - The most delicious sandwich ever sits on a hill. You must get the sandwich.

I respond yes (as per rule number negative one! Quote, "You must get the sandwich."). And I want to eat it. Then my mouth starts to close around the sandwich.

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

However, I get my School of divination wizard to cast suggestion on you again! This time, he replaces your save with his other portent roll, a 2.

The wizard hands me the sandwich, and I shake the platypus/cat saliva off of it.

[Immortal Platypus]

23 minutes ago, NerdyAarakocra said:

However, I get my School of divination wizard to cast suggestion on you again! This time, he replaces your save with his other portent roll, a 2.

The wizard hands me the sandwich, and I shake the platypus/cat saliva off of it.

But my fighter things still prevents me from rolling 1s or 2s! So, i take the sandwich back after knocking you unconscious.