Tournament: Cosmere Character Roast Battles

[Toaster Retribution he/him]

8 hours ago, Ashspren said:

@Julio, about 33 hours left!

In other words, you can take all the time you need (as long as it isn’t 34+ hours, if so your’e screwed).

Edited August 23, 2018 by Toaster Retribution

[Ashspren]

Unfortunately, @Julio won’t be able to participate in this round!  So... that means that we get out first use of the “pinch hitters”... @Ark1002? You’re in, representing Nale! 

I will reset the timer to 48 hours, but will send out the survey as soon as you post your rap. 

Good luck!

[+Ark1002]

I was kinda hoping I wouldn't have to do this... 

I'll try, but I am sorry for my terrible work. I know it will be.

[Toaster Retribution he/him]

16 minutes ago, Ark1002 said:

I'll try, but I am sorry for my terrible work. I know it will be.

Nah, I’m sure it will be great. Nale is a good character.

Edited August 23, 2018 by Toaster Retribution

[+Ark1002]

I'm done!

Spoiler

I'm Nale, all hail, herald and skybreaker!

I can manipulate gravity, divide with style,

once I'm done you'll all be a big dust pile!

 

Jak? More like quack.

You're a maniac,

intelligence is what you lack!

Oh wow, you can burn tin.

That doesn't help if you were born in a bin!

 

Sazed, Harmony, Hero of Ages?

All you ever did was turn pages!

You don't deserve to be God,

how you got there is flawed.

You were a Feruchemist steward.

But when you fought Marsh you nearly got skewered!

 

Kelsier, you're a bit harder,

but we know how you regard her.

You taught Vin something 'bout trust,

but you? You're nearly as useful as rust!

Survivor of Death? How did you get that name?

Imprisoning yourself? How lame!

 

I am a herald, I've got thousands of years.

You three are only alive 'cause of your peers!

Come on! Kelsier died because of some spears?

I'm nearly a god, I can make in a day your life's worth in spheres!

That wasn't as torturous as I expected!

Edited August 23, 2018 by Ark1002

[Ashspren]

All right, here's the link: 

https://goo.gl/forms/T9JcKDKSTyWBKWJF3

VOTE VOTE VOTE!

[+Ark1002]

I am offended! It said Julio did the roasting!

[Ashspren]

AHHHHH! I forgot to change it!!!

@Ark1002 I fixed it. So so so sorry!

[+Ark1002]

I was kidding. I thought that was on purpose... as I was a "pinch hitter".

[Wyndlerunner he/him]

This has been a stupendous round of roasts!

[Ashspren]

2 hours ago, Ark1002 said:

I was kidding. I thought that was on purpose... as I was a "pinch hitter".

I’m going to put the pinch hitter’s names, as they were the ones doing the roasting. You should get the credit, after all. 

[+Ark1002]

If I won (I won't, this is hypothetical), what would happen?

[Ashspren]

1 minute ago, Ark1002 said:

If I won (I won't, this is hypothetical), what would happen?

You would continue, representing Nale. And don’t say that just yet! You don’t know what’s going to happen!

Edited August 24, 2018 by Ashspren

[EdgedanceroftheDawn she/her]

@Ark1002 That was so good! You’re a lot better than you think!

[Silva]

Can I sign up yet to be on the reserved list for tournament three as a mistwraith?

[Ashspren]

6 minutes ago, Silva said:

Can I sign up yet to be on the reserved list for tournament three as a mistwraith?

You can totally be on the reserved list, but I’m not going to reserve characters. Is that okay with you? 

[Silva]

1 minute ago, Ashspren said:

You can totally be on the reserved list, but I’m not going to reserve characters. Is that okay with you? 

Works for me. Thanks.

[+Ark1002]

25 minutes ago, EdgedanceroftheDawn said:

@Ark1002 That was so good! You’re a lot better than you think!

Even if I was good, the others were better.

[Toaster Retribution he/him]

@Ark1002 Told you it would be good :-) 

 

[Furamirionind They/Any/All]

6 hours ago, Ark1002 said:

Even if I was good, the others were better.

I am truly impressed by how amazing these have been so far.  First round and second.  Not everyone can make it to the finals, but I think everyone was that good.

Everyone who created a "roast" is a winner in my book.

Even if I read one that I though was horrible (which I haven't), they would still be a winner.

It is easy to criticise our own work, not realizing how ingenious it was.  In my opinion, that is what helps us get better... But it is still good to realize at least some level of ingenousness. : )

[+Ark1002]

12 hours ago, Toaster Retribution said:

@Ark1002 Told you it would be good :-) 

 

I don't believe you. You're all lying, my work sucked.

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

On 8/23/2018 at 9:53 AM, Ark1002 said:

I am a herald, I've got thousands of years.

You three are only alive 'cause of your peers!

Come on! Kelsier died because of some spears?

You are being way too hard on yourself, these lines are CLASSIC!

Youch.

[+Ark1002]

12 upvotes? There was twelve upvotes on that post! THat did not deserve 12 upvotes!

[Ashspren]

The winner of that round is... @Archer, with Allomancer Jak! Congratulations!

---

This next round, we have...

@Inklingspren, with Odium!

 

@Edgedancer Jak, with Lift! 

 

@Sorana, with Shai! 

 

@hoiditthroughthegrapevine, with Mraize!

Good luck!

[+Sorana she/her]

Odium, Lift and Mraize. Definitily some worthy opponents...
*starts thinking*