Tournament: Cosmere Character Roast Battles

[Edgedancer Jak]

7 hours ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

If lift stayed in Azimir she'd probably have one too

No way, she'd Slick her nostrils before letting anyone close enough.

Also, I just have to say, I love how the roasts are so brutal, and then our actual posts are so supportive. I'm glad everyone's real self is way kinder than their rapping persona haha.

Edited August 27, 2018 by Edgedancer Jak

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

1 hour ago, Edgedancer Jak said:

No way, she'd Slick her nostrils before letting anyone close enough.

Sounds dangerous...Inadvertent finger to the brain...yikes

1 hour ago, Edgedancer Jak said:

Also, I just have to say, I love how the roasts are so brutal, and then our actual posts are so supportive. I'm glad everyone's real self is way kinder than their rapping persona haha.

Yeah, a whole lot of nice people on the shard that's for sure. But then again, everyone here loves Brandon's work, so it's a subset that has been  created due to discriminating tastes.

It was hard writing the roast for Lift, it feels a little bit like the Cosmere equivalent of picking on this guy:

[+Ark1002]

On 8/23/2018 at 9:53 AM, Pessimistspren said:

I'm done!

  Reveal hidden contents

I'm Nale, all hail, herald and skybreaker!

I can manipulate gravity, divide with style,

once I'm done you'll all be a big dust pile!

 

Jak? More like quack.

You're a maniac,

intelligence is what you lack!

Oh wow, you can burn tin.

That doesn't help if you were born in a bin!

 

Sazed, Harmony, Hero of Ages?

All you ever did was turn pages!

You don't deserve to be God,

how you got there is flawed.

You were a Feruchemist steward.

But when you fought Marsh you nearly got skewered!

 

Kelsier, you're a bit harder,

but we know how you regard her.

You taught Vin something 'bout trust,

but you? You're nearly as useful as rust!

Survivor of Death? How did you get that name?

Imprisoning yourself? How lame!

 

I am a herald, I've got thousands of years.

You three are only alive 'cause of your peers!

Come on! Kelsier died because of some spears?

I'm nearly a god, I can make in a day your life's worth in spheres!

That wasn't as torturous as I expected!

So glad I didn't reach the 17 mark. That would have made people look at mine, then people would embarrass me.

[Ashspren]

6 hours ago, Pessimistspren said:

So glad I didn't reach the 17 mark. That would have made people look at mine, then people would embarrass me.

Too bad I already upvoted it, otherwise I would push it there.  

[+Sorana she/her]

6 hours ago, Pessimistspren said:

So glad I didn't reach the 17 mark. That would have made people look at mine, then people would embarrass me.

People liked what you've done and that's it. Be happy about the compliment
(not that you can change it... and sadly I also upvoted already...)

[Rhapsody she/her]

11 hours ago, Pessimistspren said:

So glad I didn't reach the 17 mark. That would have made people look at mine, then people would embarrass me.

so now you've reached the 17! But you really shouldn't beat yourself up so much. Your rap was amazing.

[+Ark1002]

Huh. THinking back, it wasn't bad, I just find it funny that it was so popular. I definitely don't think of that as one of my better posts, and none of my other posts have 17 or more likes....

[Ink he/him]

@Ashspren, is the voting done? Sorry if I sound impatient, but I'm dying to know who won.

If I had to guess, I'd say Lift.

[AonEne he/him]

21 hours ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Upvote for the puppy. That thing is going to make me explode from cuteness.

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

1 hour ago, Sprene said:

Upvote for the puppy. That thing is going to make me explode from cuteness.

As the dad of an incredibly good boy, who happens to be a black lab/akita, I think pictures of black lab puppies are the cutest. Here's a couple pictures of my 4 year old dog, Chewbacca when he was just 8 weeks old (spoilered to not turn this into a cute dog thread, and also because I don't want to be responsible for you exploding from cuteness, don't click the spoiler tag until you are prepared for some epic cute):

Spoiler

 

 

 

[AonEne he/him]

IT'S PURPLE

STORMING PURPLE

I LOVE HIM

THIS IS THE REAL FUZZ

DOES A CUTE DOG THREAD EXIST AND IF SO CAN I BRIBE YOU ALL TO USE YOUR UPVOTES THERE ONCE I'M OUT

[Life&Death]

2 minutes ago, Sprene said:

DOES A CUTE DOG THREAD EXIST AND IF SO CAN I BRIBE YOU ALL TO USE YOUR UPVOTES THERE ONCE I’M OUT

If there is not a cute dog thread, what have we all been doing with our sad lives? Someone needs to start that. 

[Ashspren]

2 hours ago, Inklingspren said:

@Ashspren, is the voting done? Sorry if I sound impatient, but I'm dying to know who won.

If I had to guess, I'd say Lift.

About that... for the first time ever, we have a tie. It's between Lift, @Edgedancer Jak, and Mraize, @hoiditthroughthegrapevine. 

https://goo.gl/forms/EUp3QaTR3FkREQfu1

This is a survey for just Lift and Mraize. VOTE VOTE VOTE everyone! 24 hours. 

Edited August 28, 2018 by Ashspren

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

1 hour ago, Sprene said:

DOES A CUTE DOG THREAD EXIST AND IF SO CAN I BRIBE YOU ALL TO USE YOUR UPVOTES THERE ONCE I'M OUT

This is non-discriminatory type of thread, cute pictures of all pets are welcome:

 

[Ink he/him]

Well played you all. I agree that Lift and Mraize were the two best. I'll be back, that's for sure, but that was really fun. *bows to Sorana (i can't find you, did you change your name?) @Edgedancer Jak and @hoiditthroughthegrapevine.* i look forward to seeing you again. Yours were both definantly better than mine. Don't worry, I (might) improve next time.

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

10 minutes ago, Ashspren said:

About that... for the first time ever, we have a tie. It's between Lift, @Edgedancer Jak, and Mraize, @hoiditthroughthegrapevine. 

https://goo.gl/forms/EUp3QaTR3FkREQfu1

This is a survey for just Lift and Mraize. VOTE VOTE VOTE everyone! 24 hours. 

Wow, that's crazy! I had to vote for Mraize just because I know the guy who wrote that roast, and he's got a really cute dog...

 

Edited August 28, 2018 by hoiditthroughthegrapevine
deleted a picture of globnar...don't ask

[Ashspren]

1 minute ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Wow, that's crazy! I had to vote for Mraize just because I know the guy who wrote that roast, and he's got a really cute dog...

Thank you for starting that thread, by the way... 

2 minutes ago, Inklingspren said:

Well played you all. I agree that Lift and Mraize were the two best. I'll be back, that's for sure, but that was really fun. *bows to Sorana (i can't find you, did you change your name?) @Edgedancer Jak and @hoiditthroughthegrapevine.* i look forward to seeing you again. Yours were both definantly better than mine. Don't worry, I (might) improve next time.

Sorana is now @Sunspren. 

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

2 minutes ago, Inklingspren said:

Well played you all.

Yours was great! If you look at the upvotes (the exit polls as it were), it was close all around. Really great roasts @Inklingspren and @Sunspren (what's the deal with everyone changing their username to something with spren in it, by the way?)

[+Sorana she/her]

6 minutes ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Yours was great! If you look at the upvotes (the exit polls as it were), it was close all around. Really great roasts @Inklingspren and @Sunspren (what's the deal with everyone changing their username to something with spren in it, by the way?)

Almost everyone active in the Alleyverse did it. It's spren week.

@hoiditthroughthegrapevine @Edgedancer Jak : great roats both of you! It definitly was an honor to be in your group. *Shai bows again*

And I'll definitly take part in the tournament, if I can get a place

[Ashspren]

The sprenvolution is rising... 

I'm not even in the Alleyverse. I've just always been Ashspren.

[Edgedancer Jak]

@hoiditthroughthegrapevine proud to be making history with you, first tiebreaker!

And @Sunspren and @Inklingspren, yours were both great, too! At least as good as the pancakes from Tashikk.

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

11 minutes ago, Edgedancer Jak said:

 

@hoiditthroughthegrapevine proud to be making history with you, first tiebreaker!

 

Right back at you, and to think you did it all in the clutch. Rad, rad rad.

[Herowannabe he/him]

1 hour ago, Ashspren said:

About that... for the first time ever, we have a tie. It's between Lift, @Edgedancer Jak, and Mraize, @hoiditthroughthegrapevine. 

https://goo.gl/forms/EUp3QaTR3FkREQfu1

This is a survey for just Lift and Mraize. VOTE VOTE VOTE everyone! 24 hours. 

Storms this is a hard choice. They're both so good...

As a side note, in the future if there are ties they should go into a bonus tie-breaker round, with each player allowed to post a limited number of bars (like 4-8) to roast the other one.

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

5 minutes ago, Herowannabe said:

As a side note, in the future if there are ties they should go into a bonus tie-breaker round, with each player allowed to post a limited number of bars (like 4-8) to roast the other one.

In that case I would totally vote for stick...

Actually that is an awesome idea, much better than the Kickboxer Jean Claude Van Damme style fight to the death that I imagined would happen in the case of tie breaker.

This is totally me:

(The nose bleed part)

Edited August 28, 2018 by hoiditthroughthegrapevine
Added the image, the link to the image didn't work. Curious and Curiouser

[Ink he/him]

Hey @Ashspren, can I sign up for the 3rd season now?