The Official Thread of Relationships

[Hemalurgic Headshot he/him]

*cricket chirping*

*cricket chirping*

[Oversleep]

1 hour ago, Deliiiiiightful said:

Why don't y'all date each other?

I read it at first:

Quote

Why don't y'all hate each other?

I scratched my head fow a while, then read again.

[Left he/him]

Say what @Deliiiiiightful ??????

[Shqueeves he/him]

2 hours ago, Deliiiiiightful said:

Why don't y'all date each other?

Because long-distance relationships usually don't work

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

And many people in this club are a little too young for me.  

[Delightful]

21 hours ago, LeftVash said:

Say what @Deliiiiiightful ??????

I mean we already have a bunch of people who like each other, with common interests, who don't want to be single. It's logical, right!  

@TwiLyghtSansSparkles technicality  

Edited February 5, 2017 by Deliiiiiightful
In my defence I've had a really long day and the brain filters aren't working. I might regret this in the morning. Love y'all.

[Nashan’Elin he/him]

 

22 hours ago, Mistbornwithakitty said:

Watch how quiet the thread gets after this remark. 

Um... well... uh...

[soyperson]

20 hours ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

And many people in this club are a little too young for me.  

Just a tad.

[Mistbornwithakitty she/her]

Yeah, there's also the fact that none of us know each other in real life.  It's a wee problem.  I'm also pretty darn sure many of us are happy with our single status (or at least I'm ok with it, no casual dates for now, thanks so much.lol)!

[A Joe in the Bush]

On 2/4/2017 at 1:10 PM, Deliiiiiightful said:

Why don't y'all date each other?

because internet cuddles aren't physical cuddles.

Goes back to lurking

[Left he/him]

Yeah, I've had enough experience in a distance relationship to ever look for another. 

Thst being said, it's been long enough since my last break up that I'm done loathing the idea of a relationship and miss snuggles. 

[Erunion he/him]

Yeah, I miss snuggles. They were pretty great. 

Snuggling while reading was one of my favourite activities. (Add snow, blanket, fire and hot drink for Best Quiet Afternoon). 

But it's not worth being in the wrong relationship. There are relationships that are clearly, obviously damaging. Get out. More insidious still, there are relationships that seem good, but are not - where it feels good, but you know it's not good. Where it can only hold you back. Trust me, I know. I know all too well. I know far too well. The longer you stay in the wrong one? The more it hurts when it ends, and the more opportunities for the right one that will slip by. Don't stay when it's not right. Don't stay when you know it won't last, can't last. Please. I've been there. I lied to myself that it would work, that I could make it work. All I bought myself was pain, pain and regret. 

 

To all my unwillingly single buddies (with S.A.D day coming up! The anniversary of my rejoining the shard... for some reason). Don't settle guys (and gals. And Spren). Don't go for a relationship. Don't go to fill that lonely hole. Go for love. Real love. Go for something that makes you a better person. Go for something that will change your life for the better. Don't settle. Don't feel pressured or rushed into a relationship. Don't feel like you have to. Because you don't. 

To others, don't fall into the lie of loneliness - that you deserve to be lonely. That you're unlovable. That you aren't pretty enough. Or strong enough. Or smart enough. Or clever enough. Or tall enough. Or rich enough. Or fit enough. That you're never going to be loved because you aren't good enough. That's a lie. It's a storms cursed bloody lie from damnation itself. 

Don't listen. Don't give in. Don't let the brain weasels get to you. Because they squirm and wriggle and tear into you. And the more you give them; the more you listen, the hungrier and louder they get. Shut them up. Shut them out. Shut them down. 

 

I'm talking to you @Kestrel. I'm talking to you @Silverblade5. I'm talking to all of you. And I'm talking to myself. 

[Kestrel she/her]

Sorry but. If I'm not noticed now, I won't be noticed ever. I don't feel like I deserve anything either. I'd be too much of a burden.

[Erunion he/him]

3 hours ago, Kestrel said:

Sorry but. If I'm not noticed now, I won't be noticed ever. I don't feel like I deserve anything either. I'd be too much of a burden.

..... that is so, so much a lie of the brain weasels.  

Thats exactly what they tell everybody. 

Me especially. 

 

For the record, I wasn't 'noticed' until I was 19-20.

Also, for the record, saying "I'll be a burden" is the brain weasels favourite lie. If they can make you feel useless? Make you feel that the world is better without you? That's their whole plan. That's their goal. 

And it's a lie. 

Its a thrice cursed storming lie. 

It's the lie they tell me. That they told me for years. It's the lie they told my mom almost every day of her life. Still tell her when she listens. It's the lie they tell you because they want you gone. The brain weasels want you out. 

 

 

Personally, I am a devout Christian. If you are religious, this may help. If not, then up to you. To me the 'brain weasels' are the tools of the Adversary, the devil. And you know why he would use them? 

Becuase he knows that you make the world a better place. Because he knows that you will make the world a better place. 

And he doesn't want that. 

 

 

Dont listen to them. 

 

(If you're not religious, it may help you psychologically to personify the brain weasels as an enemy anyway.)

[Flynn]

what if someone genuinely terrible has the brain weasels. someone who would cause the world to be a worse place if they could. 

[Mestiv he/him]

1 hour ago, Flynn said:

what if someone genuinely terrible has the brain weasels. someone who would cause the world to be a worse place if they could. 

Those people usuall don't have brain weasels unfortunately :/

[Erunion he/him]

12 minutes ago, Mestiv said:

Those people usuall don't have brain weasels unfortunately :/

They tend to get a different affliction. Something that tells them that they can take. That they're more important than others. That they can hurt, and harm, and steal - as long as they get away with it. That the rest of the world doesn't matter; only them. 

[Mistbornwithakitty she/her]

18 hours ago, Erunion said:

..... that is so, so much a lie of the brain weasels.  

Thats exactly what they tell everybody. 

Me especially. 

 

For the record, I wasn't 'noticed' until I was 19-20.

Also, for the record, saying "I'll be a burden" is the brain weasels favourite lie. If they can make you feel useless? Make you feel that the world is better without you? That's their whole plan. That's their goal. 

And it's a lie. 

Its a thrice cursed storming lie. 

It's the lie they tell me. That they told me for years. It's the lie they told my mom almost every day of her life. Still tell her when she listens. It's the lie they tell you because they want you gone. The brain weasels want you out. 

 

 

Personally, I am a devout Christian. If you are religious, this may help. If not, then up to you. To me the 'brain weasels' are the tools of the Adversary, the devil. And you know why he would use them? 

Becuase he knows that you make the world a better place. Because he knows that you will make the world a better place. 

And he doesn't want that. 

 

 

Dont listen to them. 

 

(If you're not religious, it may help you psychologically to personify the brain weasels as an enemy anyway.)

This inspires me so much.    I try to tell people this literally all the time.  So bravo @Erunion!   The internet has such a way of promoting that "it's ok to like this, but if you like this too much, you are trash", "you should love your body, but here's a new diet", and "you are worth it, but you are still a not as good as this person over here."  It's all just a big sack of lies.  You are beautiful in everyway because you have the body you were supposed to have.  You are talented at something, even if it's not a typical thing (My mom is a great people reader, she may not know calculous or sing on American Idol but she can tell if your lying or uncomfortable in 0.05 seconds. That's a talent too).  You are worth it, anyone who tells or treats you otherwise is the worthless one.  But most importantly, don't tell yourself that your worthless.  In the end, your only hurting yourself.   

[Briar King]

I swore off dating. Told myself I wouldn't for atleast 10 yrs. it's been 7 since vow and lately I've begun to consider reversing my ban. This would require me to buzz my hair again to look sharp but I'm trying to see if I can get it back to shoulders faster then last time. Decisions. Blah

[Kestrel she/her]

I can tell you right now I'm not beautiful. I'm too short to be beautiful. My face is too round and square, my cheeks are too big. I don't have any figure. I just. I'm not anything to look at and no one will ever notice me. I'm not even that talented. At all. I'm just mediocre at everything I do and I can never get better. The world will pass me up before I have a chance to actually do anything.

Finding love... I'm lonely again this month.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Just now, Kestrel said:

I can tell you right now I'm not beautiful. I'm too short to be beautiful. My face is too round and square, my cheeks are too big. I don't have any figure. I just. I'm not anything to look at and no one will ever notice me. I'm not even that talented. At all. I'm just mediocre at everything I do and I can never get better. The world will pass me up before I have a chance to actually do anything.

Finding love... I'm lonely again this month.

Kestrel, I've seen pictures of you. (Unless you stole some random person's pics for your Tumblr. ) You're not just cute; you're adorable. You know how the haircut you have is called a pixie cut? You actually remind me of a Tinkerbell-type pixie, all small and sweet and adorable. Just because you don't match what our culture has decided beauty is doesn't mean you don't have good looks. 

[Kestrel she/her]

3 minutes ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

Kestrel, I've seen pictures of you. (Unless you stole some random person's pics for your Tumblr. ) You're not just cute; you're adorable. You know how the haircut you have is called a pixie cut? You actually remind me of a Tinkerbell-type pixie, all small and sweet and adorable. Just because you don't match what our culture has decided beauty is doesn't mean you don't have good looks. 

Cute and adorable isn't what I want to be. Cute and adorable gets you hurt. I'm actually growing out my hair now; I regret ever picking that haircut. It just made me look smaller and weaker.

[Shqueeves he/him]

@Kestrel

I've never seen a picture of you, but you're perfect just the way you are. And I don't believe that you're mediocre at everything. You just have a hard time realizing just how talented you really are. It's a common problem in people who are truly amazing

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

9 minutes ago, Kestrel said:

Cute and adorable isn't what I want to be. Cute and adorable gets you hurt. I'm actually growing out my hair now; I regret ever picking that haircut. It just made me look smaller and weaker.

Any look can get you hurt. And any look can bring you love. It all depends on the people you find. (And there's a good bit of self-confidence that goes into that, too; if you act like you expect people to treat you right, they will, by and large, treat you with respect.) 

[Kestrel she/her]

Not if you look like an actual child.