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Posted

Granted the potatoa fall from 1000 feet in the air 

I wish for a girlfriend 

Posted

Granted. It's your great grandmother.
I wish for new pants

Posted

Granted. You now must always spell it as ‘donut’

I wish to be able to loop my voice on itself

Posted

Granted. Everyone you ever met forgets who you are entirely.

I wish I could play video games and lifeguard simultaneously and just hear a buzzer go off whenever someone was drowning.

Posted

Granted. However, the buzzer is ultrasonic and outside of human hearing.

I wish for my washer to have a filter that automatically catches stray pens in the pockets.

Posted

Granted but when you walk close to it it shoots them at you as high speed projectiles

I wish for a nice pair of pants

Posted

Granted. You lose your nose.

I wish that any animal I touch gains human intelligence as long as I am touching it.

Posted

Granted. School is now all day and all night with no breaks.

I wish that I can never run out of money.

Posted

Granted. You are overcome with insatiable greed and the economy collapses.

I wish for a cicada.

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