The Battle for the Sandwich

[NerdyAarakocra They/Them]

I disguise myself as a french veteran to slip past a police blockade and gain access to a flat on the top story of a building, where I set up a sandwich-stealing grappling hook.

[Vyzkel He/Him]

I use my expert ninja skillz to bypass all defenses and take the Sandwich from Doomslug and start running away.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

I give a long lecture to Jerome about how betraying people is bad and he feels so bad that he steals the Sandwich from Vyz and brings it back to me. 

[Tinwatcher I don’t mind]

I light weave myself to look like Uninteligenius’s dad, walk over, and take the sandwich 

[Vyzkel He/Him]

I disguise myself as your mom and lecture you about lying, taking the Sandwich as punishment.

[dezaS Hᴇ/Hɪᴍ]

1 minute ago, Vyzkel said:

I disguise myself as your mom and lecture you about lying, taking the Sandwich as punishment.

I reveal your lies and get a bunch of skybreakers knocking at your door. I sneak out with the sandwich.

[Vyzkel He/Him]

I hide in the corner as the knocking intensifies.

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

I burst through the front door, cackling.

[Vyzkel He/Him]

6 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

I burst through the front door, cackling.

This is my face when this happens:

Spoiler

 

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

Just now, Vyzkel said:

This is my face when this happens:

  Reveal hidden contents

 

I laugh, but the Skybreakers come in behind me and try to arrest me for breaking and entering.

[Vyzkel He/Him]

4 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

I laugh, but the Skybreakers come in behind me and try to arrest me for breaking and entering.

I point to Glass and say it’s all her fault.

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

9 minutes ago, Vyzkel said:

I point to Glass and say it’s all her fault.

I squeak and vanish, leaving you with twelve very confused Skybreakers.

"Elsecallers," on of them mutters, shaking his head.

[Vyzkel He/Him]

12 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

I squeak and vanish, leaving you with twelve very confused Skybreakers.

"Elsecallers," on of them mutters, shaking his head.

“Tell me about it,”  I say, joining in the head shaking.

[dezaS Hᴇ/Hɪᴍ]

I take the sandwich and (although I have deadeyed the Stormfather due to my conflicting Truthwatcher oaths) summon tje stormfather as a gigantic shardblade with which I cut a hole in a mountain to hide with the sandwich.

Edited February 24, 2025 by DezaS

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

3 minutes ago, Vyzkel said:

“Tell me about it,”  I say, joining in the head shaking.

They shrug and leave.

[Doomslug the Arcane she/her]

I use my superior ninja skillzz™ to sneak the sandwich from dezas without him knowing

[Unintelligenius he/him]

I stand with my jaw dropped, staring at the mountain that was just cut open. Then I grab the Sandwich from Doomslug and climb to the top of the mountain.

[Tinwatcher I don’t mind]

I use doofunsmirtz stealing-sandwich-intator to steal the sandwich 

[dezaS Hᴇ/Hɪᴍ]

I realize that the sandwich was replaced with a fake (a real ham sandwich but not The Sandwich), so I eat the fake sandwich and climb out of my hole in the mountain; Doof's Sandwich Stealinator left a radiation in the air, so I geiger-count my way to the Sandwich, fighting both Doof and Truthwatcher with my two shardblades as I use my Perry-The-Platypus jetpack to escape to my house under the mountain.

This has to be one of the most absurd sentences I have ever written

[Tinwatcher I don’t mind]

Just now, DezaS said:

I realize that the sandwich was replaced with a fake (a real ham sandwich but not The Sandwich), so I eat the fake sandwich and climb out of my hole in the mountain; Doof's Sandwich Stealinator left a radiation in the air, so I geiger-count my way to the Sandwich, fighting both Doof and Truthwatcher with my two shardblades as I use my Perry-The-Platypus jetpack to escape to my house under the mountain.

This has to be one of the most absurd sentences I have ever written

It’s the greatest sentence 

[dezaS Hᴇ/Hɪᴍ]

Just now, सत्य हेर्ने said:

It’s the greatest sentence 

yes because it got me the sandwich

[Tinwatcher I don’t mind]

I send my spren to tail DezaS.

Then have my spren go back to me, and go to the location my spren told me to go to as a pizza delivery guy and i steal the sandwich.

Edited February 25, 2025 by सत्य हेर्ने

[dezaS Hᴇ/Hɪᴍ]

1 hour ago, सत्य हेर्ने said:

Then have my spren go back to me, and go to the location my spren told me to go to as a pizza delivery guy and i steal the sandwich.

i didn't order a pizza, but I accept it, scan it for poisons/spikes and, finding nothing, eat it. I let you steal the sandwich so I can track down your base of operations with the tracker I have placed in the sandwich. When you arrive I activate the tracker (think like a cookie robot from Despicable Me, but a pickle) and have it secretly watch you until you go to sleep. Then I break in with my Stormfatherblade and steal the sandwich, and fly to Niue with it to enjoy having it.

[Doomslug the Arcane she/her]

25 minutes ago, DezaS said:

i didn't order a pizza, but I accept it, scan it for poisons/spikes and, finding nothing, eat it. I let you steal the sandwich so I can track down your base of operations with the tracker I have placed in the sandwich. When you arrive I activate the tracker (think like a cookie robot from Despicable Me, but a pickle) and have it secretly watch you until you go to sleep. Then I break in with my Stormfatherblade and steal the sandwich, and fly to Niue with it to enjoy having it.

I offer to buy your pickle-tracker

[strmblsd he/him]

i eat as many pickles as humanly possible