Soulbinder

Celebrate. Sounds really cool! WWYDIYF a long-lost book by Victor Hugo in your pocket?

Ooh, yay! Snake pajamas! Have a couple backup snakes. I have an ominously glowing phone booth.

Why would you pretend to be a cop in order to give that llama a speeding ticket?! "In my defense, only six people were mildly too severely injured in the process. So it was practically successful!"

I call on my character from my unfinished novel draft to snatch the sandwich while I distract your D&D character with some shiny nat 20s.

Totally bogus. Granted. Your neck is not designed to support such weight, so you will have to get used to wearing a neck brace and back supports. I wish for a gigantic rubber duck.

Inexact

Off the top of my head I'd have to say Kronk from the Emperor's New Groove. What would you like your new name to be?

No, but I've seen a lot. Very cute. What's something you wish you could tell your younger self?

Maximum Ride by James Patterson. You can only have so many plot twists before they stop making sense and your characters lose all consistency. Also, The Rise of Skywalker in terms of screenwriting. What would you do if you were given a trip to Disneyland?

Granted. Your home has been taken over by a multitude of small crabs. I wish for a guitar riff to play any time I do an air guitar like in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

Painting, mostly with watercolor. What's your opinion on Moash?

Granted. Your body temperature is now 0° C. Hope that's sufficiently cool for you. Also, you have sunglasses now. I wish for a functioning longbow.

I'm more of a potato myself. TPBM has a weirdly specific interest.

Have a visit from Uncle Sam. I have a strange glowing green goo of mysterious origin.

He's fantastic at creating memorable themes. What would be a great supervillain name?

I'm going to have to assume you are capable of doing so, yes. How do you make your evil monologues more dramatic?

Chuck Norris is every Epic's weakness.

Hard one! I think the Lopen would be really fun, but I'd rather take the chance to learn from a master chef like Rock. WYR have a mistcloak or a replica of a Shardblade?

Pretty decent, yeah! TPBM Iikes stuffed animals.

I really like them! Especially making them. What dystopian book do you think is actually a great idea?

Clamor

Granted. However, eating now takes you a minimum of two hours per meal. I wish for a good idea for an April Fool's prank.

Sound

The way the plots are seamlessly woven together and incorporated into a big payoff. Also, the characters. What's your advice for making friends?

Reading time, of course! What offering have you brought to appease the eldritch abomination?