Soulbinder

Some quotes from the Goat Place: "Yo, you should listen to me. I came up with hundreds of goats in my life and only one of them got me killed." "Why are you making such a big deal about turning me into a goat forever?" "You know the sound a goat makes in a garbage disposal? That's the sound my brain makes all the time." "I wasn't a failed goat, I was pre-successful."

Have a radioactive watch! I have a platypus.

Using this information I take the real sandwich from the hill and make my getaway by launching myself from a trebuchet.

Granted. You remembered, but you had to make an edit. I wish for humans to stop destroying the environment.

The Sound of Silence What fictional character would make a great advocate for fire safety?

Generous

Detached

Granted. It's poison. Drinking it will render you incapable of boredom. I wish for the Forget-Me Stick from Megamind.

I hire a Parselmouth to convince the rope to give me the sandwich instead.

The Free Bird guitar solo. What fictional country do you suspect may be real?

Celebrate. Sounds really cool! WWYDIYF a long-lost book by Victor Hugo in your pocket?

Ooh, yay! Snake pajamas! Have a couple backup snakes. I have an ominously glowing phone booth.

Why would you pretend to be a cop in order to give that llama a speeding ticket?! "In my defense, only six people were mildly too severely injured in the process. So it was practically successful!"

I call on my character from my unfinished novel draft to snatch the sandwich while I distract your D&D character with some shiny nat 20s.

Totally bogus. Granted. Your neck is not designed to support such weight, so you will have to get used to wearing a neck brace and back supports. I wish for a gigantic rubber duck.

Inexact

Off the top of my head I'd have to say Kronk from the Emperor's New Groove. What would you like your new name to be?

No, but I've seen a lot. Very cute. What's something you wish you could tell your younger self?

Maximum Ride by James Patterson. You can only have so many plot twists before they stop making sense and your characters lose all consistency. Also, The Rise of Skywalker in terms of screenwriting. What would you do if you were given a trip to Disneyland?

Granted. Your home has been taken over by a multitude of small crabs. I wish for a guitar riff to play any time I do an air guitar like in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

Painting, mostly with watercolor. What's your opinion on Moash?

Granted. Your body temperature is now 0° C. Hope that's sufficiently cool for you. Also, you have sunglasses now. I wish for a functioning longbow.

I'm more of a potato myself. TPBM has a weirdly specific interest.

Have a visit from Uncle Sam. I have a strange glowing green goo of mysterious origin.

He's fantastic at creating memorable themes. What would be a great supervillain name?