Inverse Ask Anyone Anything

[Mat he/him]

Tell me about the Yellow Brick Road...

A compass, but not the kind on maps, nor the kind that tells you which way is West. The one, you know, for circles.

Edited September 25, 2020 by Matrim's Dice

[DramaQueen she/he/neopronouns]

What was the murder weapon you used?

No, I actually hate them.

[Eluvianii he/him]

Surprise! What do you think? I just made this bookshelf for you. It takes up an entire wall so there's a lot of space. I know how much you like books. 

Yes indeed, any moment now. 3, 2, 1... Oh Storms, look out! That cow was not supposed to be there. 

[dannnex male]

So you’re saying we’re about to lightspeed skip straight to your grandpas farm?

 

Ah, but of course my good fellow, why would it be any other way?

[Chasmgoat he/him]

Does it involve an old priest, a young priest, and a salt and pepper shaker?

 

No, I made a mistake since I was tired.

[Spren of Kindness she/her]

Did you mean to make that typo in the skywriting?

Captain, you're getting stitches out, not going on a date.

[Nathrangking he/him]

Why can't I wear this suit?

My pizza had better not have gotten cold because of you.

[Spren of Kindness she/her]

Sorry I'm late... can you finish that paperwork before you leave?

No, dimwit, they want the normal people answer!  The answer a normal person would give!

[The Awakened Salad they/them]

This acquaintance wants my opinion on what fantasy book they should read next. Should I go on an hour-long tangent about the cosmere and lure them in with the promise of cookies?

I had to eat it before anyone saw. Wouldn’t want it making a mess around the house. 

[The One Ring she/her]

Ohh, you look terrible.

 

Why does everyone keep asking me that?

[Nathrangking he/him]

Was that the result of eating that exotic plant?

Bring the fight to him. He is too powerful if you fight him on his own terms.

[Chasmgoat he/him]

how do you fight a baby?

I would put it in the basement. It is such an eyesore.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

Here, I spent two years painting this picture for you! Where do you want to put it?

*whirs dental drill menacingly*

[Hen she/her]

“Sooooo you want to know who my crush is huh?” 

yeah I got everything on the list! That... was on the list right? 

[Spren of Kindness she/her]

Why did you buy party poppers at the grocery store?

No one is awake anymore.

[Cosmical Existence she/her]

Why did you decide to blow up the hospital? 

The sun is hottest thing in this universe.

[Chasmgoat he/him]

Who is your crush?

I didn't think he would take it literally

[Nathrangking he/him]

Why did you tell your friend to rob that bank?

Time? You want the time? Forget it!!

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

Please man, just give me back my watch!

*Mongolian throat singing*

Edited October 2, 2020 by Truthless of Shinovar

[Chasmgoat he/him]

What!!! No!!! Why would I pay you to go away?

pickle

[Eluvianii he/him]

Come on! I can't save the world on my own. At least give me a hint.

Well, where should I start? First you should know that when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, pizza delivery was never late.

[Spren of Kindness she/her]

What was it like before everything went down?

No, he just does that.  Don't mind the braid either, he's just odd.

[Turtle they/them]

Why is that car driving backwards?

A washing machine, a sunset, and ketchup or toothpaste.

[Eluvianii he/him]

I've heard good skincare can do wonders for you. Any tips? 

You can always substitute the gun with a banana but then you can't make the milkshake. 

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

Well men... we’re about to head into battle. Any last words?

Of course I brought the synthesizer, why didn’t you bring the venus fly trap?