Puns Puns Puns and More Puns

[ThirdGen]

For hundreds of years, the Inquisitors kept digging up new deodorant sticks under Luthadel.

[A Budgie she/her]

17 hours ago, ThirdGen said:

For hundreds of years, the Inquisitors kept digging up new deodorant sticks under Luthadel.

I feel like this is a joke that you'll understand if you know deoderant brand names.

[ThirdGen]

1 hour ago, A Budgie said:

I feel like this is a joke that you'll understand if you know deoderant brand names.

There's always another Secret.

[A Budgie she/her]

1 hour ago, ThirdGen said:

There's always another Secret.

*solid thwack sound as I facepalm*

[Tristan]

Why can't zoo animals take tests?

Because there's too many cheetahs. 

[Sunbird she/her]

It's funny because this bird's species name is really a Sandwich Tern. XD

[StrikerEZ he/him]

4 hours ago, Sunbird said:

It's funny because this bird's species name is really a Sandwich Tern. XD

The shadow looks like a streamlined seagull. XD

[Sunbird she/her]

Am I a terrible person for making this Gordon Ramsay meme?

[Sunbird she/her]

I almost died laughing at this one:

[Silverblade5 he/him]

"Is that a short joke?"

"No, it's a punny joke."

[+Extesian he/him]

Hm, what reading did Jasnah prescribe for Shallan for her biology classes?

 The Book of Endless.......Phages

I'm so, so sorry.

Edited May 25, 2017 by Extesian

[StrikerEZ he/him]

Why do white girls always hang out in odd numbered groups?

Because they can't even.

[Jondesu he/him]

Why does everyone love straws if they're designed to suck?

[Hemalurgic Headshot he/him]

23 minutes ago, Jondesu said:

Why does everyone love straws if they're designed to suck?

Unfortunately, there is a member of our forum that is named Straw...

[Elenion he/him]

If evil never sleeps, is that why villains are always so grumpy?

[Jondesu he/him]

4 hours ago, Hemalurgic_Headshot said:

Unfortunately, there is a member of our forum that is named Straw...

Ironically named, then, since @Straw certainly doesn't suck. I always figured it was a reference to the tasty kind of straw though (tasty for certain animals, at least).

[WizzyLizzy she/her]

So I just recently saw a sign, and tried to take a picture of it. The problem is I was in a moving car. Nonetheless, I want to say what it said here. Because, unfortunately, some people just phrase words the wrong way. This was, presumably, a sign advertising women's dorms/apartments. The problem is, they worded it to say "For Rent: Women". 

Not the best way to advertise. (True, this isn't a pun, but I found this a bit humorous, so... why not?)

[Sunbird she/her]

@WizzyLizzy

[WizzyLizzy she/her]

Guys. There ardents in da floor! You shard clean them up, before kelsier there. (Kel see her there)

oh, how many dollars does an Abbey cost? Nun!

[Jondesu he/him]

I couldn't get a reservation at the library in Kharbranth.

They were completely booked.

[Silverblade5 he/him]

4 minutes ago, Jondesu said:

I couldn't get a reservation at the library in Kharbranth.

They were completely booked.

To be fair, they are under staffed

[Lina Stewards she/her]

Here are my funniest and best puns so far:

I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

I’m emotionally constipated. I haven’t given a rust in days.

I hate insects’ puns, they really bug me.

taken from https://www.punsville.com/best on Punsville 

[Draginon he/him]

What is the difference between a Danish potato and a potato from any other country?

You can't eat a language. (If you don't get it, they say Danish sounds like you're trying to speak with a potato in your mouth)

[Caesura she/her]

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to say unionized.

 

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.

 

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any sodium hypobromite...

He said NaBrO

[Wesmester]

So someone tried to throw a girls dresses at me, and I dodged them. It was pretty close.

Edited September 12, 2017 by Wesmester